Please tell me that I am being very oversensitive / paranoid - friends post on fb

[Hisaronu1234]

Ok so the reason I am writing on here is past experiences asking for advice/venting on this platform has always resulted in ‘tough love’ borderline nasty comments telling me to get over myself , and I naturally feel I need telling this about this throwaway social media post that I am 90% certain I am being overly sensitive about..

Cut a long story short, I rarely post on FB, but I have a super cute Christmassy/wintery themed photo of my darling dogs who I adore, and in fear of being extremely biased, they are quite possibly the most beautiful dogs you will ever set your eyes on ( 2 little white bichon Frise’) who pose for the camera like film stars, I have no children as of yet and they are unapologetically my world.

I came across this photo on my phone earlier and decided to post it as a new profile picture.

One of my old school/childhood/oldest friends, who I am not very close to now due to our lives taking very different paths ( she had 3 kids at a young age, married young, never really worked) , I’m more of a party girl/ holidays/ career (, but more of a work to live than a ‘career girl’) but we were quite close when we were kids, and know each other’s families well etc, have not necessarily fell out just kind of drifted apart, she would probably say I don’t bother with her , but I will argue it takes 2 to stay in touch and I did make efforts, (PS we are both 30).

Anyways, about an hour after I changed my profile pic, she then posts a selfie of her with her puppy who is a cutie, which is a lovely pic, however I couldn’t help but notice there was a status on the profile pic that read ‘seeing as we seem to be at the age of having pets as profile pics, ill start steady with this one’’

I cant help but feel it was a dig towards me, go on MN community do what you do best and tell me to get over myself/grow up ETC.

I really couldn't take it as a criticism no matter how I read it.

Maybe she has noticed that quite a few of her friends have pet pics.

Even if it's a reference to you- I can't see how it's a dig? She probably just saw your pic getting likes and thought oooh I can post my cute dog too

I don’t see how it was a dig if she herself then put up a photo of her pet.

Why are you friends with her when this judgemental comment “she had 3 kids at a young age, married young, never really worked” makes it clear you don’t really like her or approve of her life choices.

Why on earth are you reading that as a dig?
I think you’re massively overthinking the whole issue

It doesn't sound like much of a dig as she's classing herself as the same age and is doing the same thing so can't think it's that bad. It depends whether she has a history of making digs though.
Re borderline nasty comments on mumsnet. That's putting it very mildly!

Yeah you're being daft, but you knew that anyway didn't you.

Ps we need to see your dogs

I don’t see it as a dig at all. I think your photo just prompted her to post a photo of her dog. A case of overthinking, methinks.

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” Oscar Wilde

I would assume she meant you are all now old enough to stop putting up the generic sideways one foot off the ground pouting selfie.

As pps have said, I would read it as she saw your pic, loved it & gave herself permission to post a profile pic of her own beloved furbaby!

hardly judgemental, just stating facts, i doubt it would be practical for anyone with 3 kids within 5 years to possibly work to be honest what with childcare costs and, she did have kids young and is married to the father of all 3 children, what's to judge exactly? seems you are the judgmental one

I don’t think it’s a dig. I think it’s jealousy and one upmaniship. She’s the sort of girl that has seen your post and thought ‘I’ve got a dog too! I’ve got a dog too, mine is better than yours, know your place!! Here is my dog everybody!’

She sounds like a twat. When I got married, I posted a couple of pics of the wedding. Then one of my husbands friend’s wives posted a close of picture of her on her wedding day. They had been married for years, it wasn’t their anniversary or special day. She just wanted a piece of the action. I just laughed and thought I’ve clearly bothered her with that.

Because it’s not remotely relevant to the post, unless you wanted to get a little dig in.

How is it a dig? She might not have even seen your photo?

She might have seen several other pet selfies on her timeline. On any given day I see about 5 people I follow posting either photos of their pets or selfies with them.

Can we see your dogs please?

No, you were definitely being judgemental.

When someone throws in a bit of information about someone's lifestyle/life choices that has no relevance to the post or to the conversation, it's because they are inviting the listener to judge the person they are talking about.

The information you shared was about her not working etc., which makes it pretty obvious that the judgement you wanted us to make was a negative one.

No-one ever says, "So-and-so has never really worked", and means it in a positive way!

Anyway, her post wasn't a dig. The fact you have interpreted it that way says more about you than her.

agree

I would have read that as funny and genuine. She saw yours and thought oh I want to do that.

Yes. Said kindly and with gentleness, you are being mental. Even if she did post her pic because she had seen yours, what she is saying isn’t a dig. It isn’t a negative comment - just an observation that many people, at some point in their lives, switch from posting selfies / friend pics etc to posting their kids and pets.

I would really not give this another minute of thought.

You're massively overthinking this. Of course it's not a dig. Get a grip.

It must get very tiring, assuming the worst possible motives for everybody you come across, and viewing life as a constant battle to be on top.

If my friend had posted that, I’d have responded with a 😂.

Your reaction says much more about you than her.

it was mainly to describe that we followed completely different journeys in our early adulthood so we naturally drifted apart, neither of our journeys are right or wrong.

How do you know it's in response to your pic? Presumably she has more than the one facebook friend.

At times like this I find it helpful to remind myself that the world doesn't revolve around me.