Please tell me that I am being very oversensitive / paranoid - friends post on fb

[Hisaronu1234]

Ok so the reason I am writing on here is past experiences asking for advice/venting on this platform has always resulted in ‘tough love’ borderline nasty comments telling me to get over myself , and I naturally feel I need telling this about this throwaway social media post that I am 90% certain I am being overly sensitive about..

Cut a long story short, I rarely post on FB, but I have a super cute Christmassy/wintery themed photo of my darling dogs who I adore, and in fear of being extremely biased, they are quite possibly the most beautiful dogs you will ever set your eyes on ( 2 little white bichon Frise’) who pose for the camera like film stars, I have no children as of yet and they are unapologetically my world.

I came across this photo on my phone earlier and decided to post it as a new profile picture.

One of my old school/childhood/oldest friends, who I am not very close to now due to our lives taking very different paths ( she had 3 kids at a young age, married young, never really worked) , I’m more of a party girl/ holidays/ career (, but more of a work to live than a ‘career girl’) but we were quite close when we were kids, and know each other’s families well etc, have not necessarily fell out just kind of drifted apart, she would probably say I don’t bother with her , but I will argue it takes 2 to stay in touch and I did make efforts, (PS we are both 30).

Anyways, about an hour after I changed my profile pic, she then posts a selfie of her with her puppy who is a cutie, which is a lovely pic, however I couldn’t help but notice there was a status on the profile pic that read ‘seeing as we seem to be at the age of having pets as profile pics, ill start steady with this one’’

I cant help but feel it was a dig towards me, go on MN community do what you do best and tell me to get over myself/grow up ETC.

Hi@Hisaronu1234
I think your post should have stopped at taking very different paths there wasn't any need to describe her life or your life.

What I'm more puzzled by is why a fully grown adult is upset that another fully grown adult has put up a pic of her dog on her FB page. Her comment is not a dig at you at all just a comment that she was also sharing a pic of her pet with her FB friends.

Face book is the gift that keeps on giving. Causes more agro than its worth. So glad I've never been tempted.

You "followed completely different journeys"?

What the hell does that mean? She had DC and you didn't?

Oh my word, this is such a reach.

FB is shit BTW.

You posted a picture of your dogs. She posted a picture of her dog.

So?

A. No-one really cares what you have posted as your profile picture
B. Bichon Frise are horrible little dogs, I doubt anyone is jealous
C. The only people posting on Facebook these days are over 50s, attention seekers and simpletons
D. Take your dogs for a walk outside and get off the internet for a while

What if someone else had written this as: 'women has 3 kids and is married, other women are single and childless'.

I think it's your choice of words that convey a judgmental undertone - reads as though you think your 'lifestyle choices' are superior to hers.

Also, did this women's SM post really bother you enough that you needed to write out multiple paragraphs on MN?

Get a grip and practice some modesty.

Yes.
It sounds like the OP is upset because she didn't have DC.

Meanwhile friend on other MN thread
I think my friend is taking Facebook a little too seriously.

I noticed that a lot of my friends were changing their profile pictures to pictures of them with their dog or just of the dog on its own. My dog is just as cute as their’s and I have a lovely photo of us together, and it makes a change from photos of my kids, so I thought I’d join in. I wrote some sort of comment about joking the craze, it was an off the cuff remark so can’t really remember what I wrote. One of my friends let’s call her June has just sent me a link to a MN thread where one of my other friends seems to be judging me on my life choices even the amount of kids I have ( seems too many coincidences not to be about me) I’m really hurt I thought this person was a friend. Should I just unfriend her or should I contact her to say that she is out of order.

@Hisaronu1234 maybe she said it to try and connect with you. I definitely wouldn't take it as a dig at all x

They are hideous dogs aren't they

Not a dig. She saw your profile and wanted to show off her doggy, nothing wrong with that.

If it was a dig, then presumably this would be because she thought the OP having a dog as their profile photo was silly/pathetic or something?

... except she's literally just posted a dog in her own profile photo. So that would make no sense at all.

In what way does it make sense for it to be a dig?

Tbh Op, you sound as though you have a chip on your shoulder
There isn’t anything about that comment that could be interpreted as a dig unlike the comment you made about this woman having three kids and not having a job
Not nice Op, do better

My general rule is don't take things personally that probably aren't meant personally. She seems to be stating that you are of similar ages and she has noticed her Facebook friends around 30 years of age have started posting pictures of pets. It has nothing to do with lifestyles or life choices, unless it is now having enough resources of time and money to have a pet.

............and in fear of being extremely biased, they are quite possibly the most beautiful dogs you will ever set your eyes on

Well, that's unlikely.

( 2 little white bichon frise’) who pose for the camera like film stars

OMG 🤮🤮🤮 they're just dogs.

I have 3 under 3 and work full time but the nursery fees are definitely a killer!

Sounds like she was just joining in. I'd be writing nice comments about how cute her dog is and trying to reconnect and go for a dog walk or something. Don't see how it is a dig at all.

This.

And anyhow OP you are mistaken, as my dogs are possibly the most beautiful dogs you will ever set your eyes on.

You are early 30s. Lots of people don't have children yet, but will have pets. It's entirely possible that on her feed, loads of people have profile pics of their pets (thinking back, I definitely had profile pics of my gorgeous ginger cat in the years between getting a pet and having children and possibly still sometimes swap to a picture of my beautiful boy even though I do have DC now). So your post may well have been the trigger, but it might have been after she'd seen 5 similar posts over the last few weeks.

I certianly don't see it as dig. Not least because she's joinign yuou in a picture of her pet as a profile picture.

Don’t comment anything like this it would be unhinged

And they’re up there with the most unattractive dogs as well! OP has a serious chip on her shoulder.

I think we need to see your dog photo.

You're being mad and I can tell you that if your friend has raised kids she has worked plenty in her life, even if not for pay.

No bichon frise could ever be the most beautiful dogs I've ever laid eyes on because I don't like the way they look, any of them. It's good they bring you happiness though.

But your friend is not getting at you.

This is how I read your comment too, if it's any reassurance, although it looks like I'm in a minority.

The rest I think you're totally overthinking. Say she'd posted a photos with her kids whilst also making a comment about some people doing it with dogs, that would be something to be upset about. This, I think, she just saw you (and maybe others, you dont know) doing it, and did it too.

Try not to get caught up too much with the online nonsense imo. Bad for the soul.

Why are you both being so nasty about the OP describing something that makes her happy and brings her joy? She didn't say you had to agree. Pair of mean girls