AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

Does anyone actually look at wedding photos anyway?

I completely agree with this, (and, if it helps am about to be mother of the groom).

I can't believe that she is genuinely thinking she would copy the shape and style of the bride's dress.

Of course YWNBU to let her know that is completely inappropriate.
However, that's all you can do.
I would say "You asked me for my opinion, and I have given it. Obviously it is completely up to you what decision you make about what you wear." then leave it at that.
If she chooses to, you know what everyone will be thinking, and you tried to help her but she wouldn't take it on board.

How about hairstyles, should people not wear a hairstyle and hair colour that might not look good on a photograph?

seriously! I think arguing over anything aesthetic at a wedding the bride or groom have no control over is ridiculous!

I’d just let her wear it. She’ll look like a total twat. Her problem.

I normally don't agree with brides specifying what colour guests should wear, but you don't wear a black dress to a wedding unless you're the groom's ex!

You’re being purposely obtuse.

The American motb type dresses often have trains, seems odd to be but it's normal for them so they will appear on online sites. I wouldn't opt for black either. I think of motb dresses as being knee length or just below, formal, perhaps patterned with a coordinated jacket eg from Hobbs but times are a changing

If you are marrying in Church in Spain, she will need something to cover her shoulders.

Of course.

If she's a bit overweight, she'll look like Ursula the Sea Witch.

Maybe that’s what MIL sees herself as 😂😂😂

A black dress I can understand if that’s what the wearer is comfortable in but a black wedding dress!! Why would anyone think that dress is ok? Yes it’s gorgeous but not for a wedding guest

might be best if the attention seeker isn’t allowed into church

The last three weddings I’ve been to (and know B&G well!) have never bothered with getting wedding photos printed out 😂 they had them digitally but didn’t do anything with them.

Aye, I’d tell the clouds off, you got me. Why shouldn’t people take their weddings seriously?

Why wouldn’t they

I wouldn't think that. I'd just think "awful dress" because I think that sort of pseudo Hollywood fake glamourous dresses are awful.

That is just weird and pretty horrible of her. Can’t her son or someone have a word and tell her she’s being unreasonable? People will gasp when they see her and probably laugh. And I imagine you, at half her age, are going to look better in that style of dress however good her figure is. What was she thinking? Has she been watching too much Rivals??😃

Haha pull the other one!😂

Your future MIL wants the MOB style experience she didn’t get from her other sons’ weddings. I think this is the time to be really clear that she isn’t going to get this experience in that dress. You are supposed to be the one standing out and in a unique dress. She should not and cannot wear the mourning version of your dress. It is incredibly rude. She’s obviously somehow got carried away and needs to be reined in.

She's going to look like the ghost of a jilted lover. i'm cringing for her.

Sounds better than orange! Is she inviting Trump to continue the colour scheme?

Do they? That's why I was asking. There's always an enormous fuss on here about "what it will look like in the photos"? How often do these photos get looked at?

I would say that the top is more inappropriate at the age she must be (my age or older.

But I reiterate, dark including black is common

If you can find some wedding photos of families with a similar theme to yours - summer colours+ similar venue setting, you can screenshot and send them to her to say this is what you have in mind and dark colours will be contradictory.

I can't believe she chose black. I was expecting to read 'royal blue/ navy' and would still say she's being U.