AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

My sister wore an awful boxy shirt skirt suit, probably some designer made thing, in off white to my nephews wedding,

I was horrified on her behalf.

The mother of the bride wore cream, perhaps to counter act my sister.

who knows?

The bride looked beautiful

I see wedding photos on FB all the time. I guess people who are not on social media send the best ones to guests, friends and family or print and frame a selection.

The train sounds a bit of a faff for a Continental summer wedding. Black for your son's wedding - definitely not. Agree with PP that black still has very funereal significance in Spain.

Yabu. As long as it isn’t white, it’s ok. You can’t be this controlling. That’s what she wants and is comfortable in.

Ok so I assumed by OPs title she was on a MIL bashing rant but my goodness
Black with a train.

Is it like this OP

For some people, photos are important, for others they aren’t. Obviously in this case they are, so your question seemed a bit unnecessary imo

A black dress with a train for your summer wedding. She must hate you OP. I'd tell her no she can't wear it or won't be invited.

I think maybe you’ve overdone it with the whole “making her feel included in everything”idea and now she can’t see past trying to look as amazing as possible, regardless of actually looking like a try-hard idiot in the heat! Is she trying to compensate for something she missed out on in the past or hoping people will think she’s the main character or could be a bridesmaid?

Even if that dress was in a different colour, you need to be clear that the style is not appropriate.

Black dress fine for Mil but it having a train also is too much. Especially as she has said she wanted to get a dress similar to yours. That's not good.
I would advise not to go too much on everyone in bridal party only wearing certain colours.
Have been to weddings where this had been done with different shades of colours / colour themes and it can look quite bland.
Your mother & mil wearing different colours such as black / navy / red / etc will break up the monotony of of the beige / yellow etc.

She asked, you answered.

it's definitely inappropriate for a wedding , even if it wasn't black, it's an absolute showstopper and might be perceived as a deliberate attempt to upstage the bride.

Is she Spanish by any chance? I know that wedding guests at Spanish weddings dress much more formally than we Brits do. Full on evening glamour rather than the very smart day dress styles we are more used to.

She's had plenty of notice that the dress isn't on the right lines so she's got time to reflect, get over any disappointment and look for something more suitable.

And I hope she gets another chance to wear that beautiful dress. If you are having a rehearsal dinner maybe she could wear it then?

It's not fair to you or your mother. Stupid attention-seeker needs to tone it right down.

For those who haven't read all the OPs posts - this is a picture of the actual dress OP posted earlier

is she winding you up? I know someone who this … all the I’m wearing black blah blah … not with train lol. All along she planned to surprise her friends by wearing pink. Bloody stupid and attention seeking.

Bloody hell. Is your MIL Sophia Loren?!

Or was it Raquel Welch that tried to upstage the bride at her son’s wedding?

Showed the picture to my DH who laughed and said 'someone is desperate to upstage the bride!'

No, no and thrice no! I was envisaging flamenco dancer from the OP and to be fair that is not far off. Apart from ruining the look of your photos, surely the more important issue is that everyone will think she is absolutely bonkers!?
I would be thinking attention seeking/making a point of mourning the loss of her son - my eyebrows would be very much raised if I saw a MOB in that dress, as lovely as it is for the right occasion.
Are you sure its not a joke??

I can’t believe the future MIL thought that dress would be okay - are you sure she was serious? Definitely not appropriate.

This is giving Monster in Law vibes! What the hell!!? It’s basically a wedding dress in black.

Just seen the pic of dress.

Fuck me that's holy inappropriate for the mother of groom to wear. She would definitely be upstaging you if she wore that. Unless she's got a good sense of humour and she's pranking you, I'd say she doesn't like you very much!

Didn't Raquel Welch wear black to her son's wedding to an English woman (it was in in Yorkshire (!) AFAICR.
I believe it was also cut to showcase Raquel's famous assets. It was much commented on at the time.
But if your Mil is Raquel Welch it could have been foreseen, I suppose.

Reminds me of an episode of Say Yes To The Dress when the bride’s mum started trying on the dresses and said she was going to wear one of them to the wedding.

Hahahaha no fuck off, she cannot be serious?!?! No, that dress is absolutely bloody ridiculous. Does she make jokes like this often?! 😅
You need to stop putting so much emphasis on your insta-perfect photos and far more on how just plain inappropriate that dress is.

That's literally a black wedding dress!!

Sorry OP, zero help, but that dress made me think of someone melodramatically throwing themselves on the marriage altar in grief, mourning the loss of her beloved son as he’s ripped away from the family home. She’ll be squishing every drop from your citrusy Spanish theme! Hopefully she’ll see sense xx

Just be more direct. State that she will not be in any family photos if she persists in this choice of outfit. Call out her behaviour with a firm boundary now, or she’ll always be at this shit.