AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

This is good advice.

If she really wants to wear it, go with the flow be pleased she's happy and have a good anecdote forevermore about your wedding. That will be more interesting in 25years than a matchy photo you've probably now put away.

"Remember your mum all in black! She bloody loved that dress and swanned about thinking she looked like a Hollywodd star instead of Mortica Adams."

She's very fashionable, she's got a lovely tall slim figure she's 65 but could defo get away with looking STUNNING in it.

The dress is the same shape as mine, she told me she brought it because it's 'in keeping' - with what? Looking exactly like mine because it's not in keeping with the venue or being in the sun!

Well tbh it doesn't really look like a "funeral dress" does it so I'm not sure if that response would work!

My mum would wither any MIL of mine that turned up to my wedding in a bloody black widows wedding dress! Your guests will judge her as either a tragic attention seeker or think she is in mourning for her son. She is competing with you on your wedding day. Not nice behaviour.

I think you can kindly point out 'I appreciate you putting that thought into it, but actually as the bride I want to stand out and don't want others to wear a similar style'

This was essentially what I said, she said 'I'll see what it's like when it comes' - it's not magically going to turn from black to pink, so I don't get her comment.

You can only edit your posts on here for a few seconds. Besides people can easily read all the OP posts before posting anyway.

Golly- I got married 9 years ago- had the most beautiful wedding. Didn’t once care or think what others wore. I suppose if someone wore a white wedding dress I would have been taken aback but I never thought about photos and colours. I think some weddings have got quite out of proportion- it’s a day to celebrate your love for each other. Don’t sweat the small stuff !

Get DP to talk to her.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them ...

Oh my goodness, she really does think the day is all about her doesn't she? Your best bet is to completely ignore the competitive aggression in her choice and don't discuss it again. Say that you are sorry if you've offended her and of course she should wear what she feels comfortable in. That way, if she goes ahead and wears it, it's completely on her and she can't say you gave her approval. That means that it's her who will have to live with the responsibility of looking like the woman who tried to upstage the bride and, as other posters have said, you can have a good laugh about it over the years to come.

"No, you can't wear a black wedding dress to my wedding. What were you actually planning to wear?"

She's clearly a loon - or bad at jokes

Just leave her to it OP, she will stand out for all the wrong reasons and it won't go unnoticed with the other guests. Leave her to make a fool of herself

@MumofHennHals I thought it was protocol that anyone wearing black to a wedding had to get the permission of the bride??? she will look like a twat! hopefully she will trip over her 5" stilletto heels and train! does she even know how to walk in a long dress??

“Obviously it’s up to you what you wear but black is an odd choice for a wedding, especially one in the sunshine. Also a train seems a bit strange if you’re not the bride.” She asked for an honest opinion. I wouldn’t have said “can we keep it…” as that sounds like you’re trying to influence the outfits when you actually don’t get a say in what guests wear.

I like it! Why not?! It doesn’t look bridal . Let her crack on!

I would have told her that it was very much up to her what she wore and left her to it. Let her make an idiot of herself if she chooses. 😉

You can't dictate what others wear to a wedding, not even to your own. Guests just get on with it and honestly, it can be fun watching what they come up with. 🤣🤣

Find something similar in summer colors?

Is wedding “black tie” & formal …. This is literally a “gown” for evening / black tie wedding.

Well, google brought up this one for a start.

I really hope it's this one.

That's either a joke or she really doesn't like you marrying her son.

Wearing a 'wedding dress' style dress to someone elses wedding, plus it's quite 'sexy' with the neckline and transparent bits, plus it's black (and it doesn't sound like a goth colour palette is what you're going for). If she wears it, people will assume she: doesn't like you and is being spiteful in a passive aggressive way; doesn't know how to dress in an age- and role-appropriate way; and is struggling with boundaries with her son. Or just laugh at her.

She is honestly joking. And no harm to her but that dress if not remotely age appropriate for it.

Tell her you’d like hers to be “in keeping” with the colour scheme but as for the dress shape, you don’t think any wedding guest should wear a bridal-shaped gown bar the bride.

Im honestly gobsmacked!!

@MumofHennHals specify the dress code in the invitation!! and No, I dont even think that dress is remotely in keeping with a mother of the groom position!! what the hell is she thinking of? she is 65 not 30 and she will look like mutton dressed as lamb

Yep

I can only assume that she's a cunt but you've never noticed until now. Its insane.
If she won't listen to you then her son will have to step in.

That's hilarious. It literally looks like she has dyed a bridal gown black.

You've given your opinion, so let her wear it and make herself look a twit. We still talk about DB's two SILs turning up to his wedding dressed all in white.

While I agree with you that dress is inappropriate, YABU trying to insta-perfect your wedding and going on about a colour palette.