AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

That is a gorgeous dress but not for the mother of the groom. More vampire ball, really. Oh dear, does she have form for being an attention stealer?

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking guests to dress according to a colour theme. I went to a red-themed wedding earlier this year and it was just a bit of fun and everyone joined in.

She's making a statement with that dress and playing silly buggers. I'd let her wear it but make sure she's only in one or two photos but I'm VERY passive aggressive and VERY patient when it comes to revenge 💐

Please post a picture. (Of the dress or your MIL or both. I am hoping it's one of those weird things from Shein).

I feel like it's definitely part of the problem 😂

She already has. Click on See All on the OP's first post.

I meant the above poster's MIL's seethrough dress.

You lost me at "wedding colour palette".

I've been to weddings in Greece and Italy where guests wear dresses like this and I'd say you'd see dresses like this at a black tie wedding.

what is odd is that she's chosen the same style as your dress but in black. That is very odd but I'd ignore her. No one will be paying her much attention at the wedding.

hope you have a lovely time, sounds like a fun day!

Not worried about black at weddings, quite common in Europe, not a faux pas at all.

But THAT dress - good grief, she must have banged her head if she thinks that’s ok.

Have you not seen the update with the actual dress?! Black dress - fine, you don’t police what people wear etc etc. Batshit Morticia Adams wedding dress - and she has asked for the bride’s opinion - she’s more than justified to tell her it’s not appropriate!

You stated your preference and it's up to MIL whether she follows it.
I doubt that a woman decades older than you wearing a similar style dress in black is going to outshine you! She may stand out abit in the wedding photos, but more likely she will disappear in your colour scheme.

No love, it's not a photoshoot, it's a wedding we've waited and saved hard for being together 15 years with two children. I don't want to look back at photos and instantly think 'F-in dress!!!!' Which I will and that seems unfair also.

She'll look like she's in vampire fancy dress. Like a complete fool. People are going to be saying "WTF?" to one another.

None of that is your responsibility or worth hand-wringing over, though it's extremely selfish of her.

Just make sure you get lots of photos without her in them. And display those.

I guarantee you'll laugh about "Morticia at the wedding" as the years wear on.

Wow... The bride is supposed to stand out not MIL... She will be the main focus in that... Not cool

Can she get a lemon shawl across her?!

Maybe ask the photographer to try and avoid the woman in the long black wedding dress 😂

Unless you're willing to share photos (with her face being blurred out) I cannot believe that happened.

Thank you xx

I hadn't seen the photo at that point - my apologies.
I have subsequently posted.

OK on reflection it looks like this is really affecting you. It's time to say I've asked lots of opinions & the majority say its not an appropriate dress as it looks like a black wedding dress or something from the Adams family. You know I love you but I'd be upset if you wore this
It's just too like a black version of my dress. If she respects and loves you as a dil she will be fine.

Oh lord! I cannot believe anyone would think that is an appropriate mother of the groom dress. I don’t think there is anything you can do to stop her wearing it, but she will make herself look such a plonker! Like one of “those” MILs, who try to make everything about them.

Surely she's pulling your leg? Like when I asked a friend what she was wearing to my wedding and she said a long ivory dress, it was obviously a joke.

Tell her she won’t be in the photos unless she wears something more appropriate. It’s a summer wedding not the Oscars.

My mum wore black to my wedding. She looked sensational and she was comfortable and I couldn’t have cared less about what other people thought or whether it’s the ‘dine thing’! (Or whether my photos are matchy-matchy).

OP I'm about to be mother of the groom too. That dress is beyond wild for a wedding. How old is MIL? Does she have a fabulous figure? It's 100% not ok to suggest turning up in that. I'd tell her so - wouldn't hesitate.