AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

@MumofHennHals - the issue is that she has ordered this dress, whether you like it or not (not as it turns out which is perfectly within your scope to not like her dress).

However, she has ordered it.

Did she mention to you before she ordered it, that this was the style she was looking to wear? Also you mentioned it's black, I wouldn't have said to her that it was to be less bridal in appearance, perhaps you may have had more success from her if you said that you didn't like it as it was too funereal in appearance??? ⛪☠⚰

Ask her if she is grieving? 😂

Have you seen the dress?!

it’s literally a wedding dress in black! She will look ridiculous

I think absolutely the problem is that it's a bridal dress!

The colour scheme is a red herring, it's the fact she's coming in a wedding dress which is absolutely mortifying!

So what if she's ordered it? She can send it back

Picture also taken in Seville, if I'm not mistaken!
The dress is a NO, BTW

“Well I’m not having you in my pictures wearing a black wedding dress Barbara, sorry. Maybe something a little more cheerful and less… wedding dress? Do you want to go shopping?”

I’d be annoyed as it does look like a black bridal dress. I mean out of all the styles and colours she chose and she chose that?!

I’d be trying to get her son to change her mind.

I agree with this

What does your fiance think of his mother's dress?.

I would uninvite her now. You do not have the relationship with her you think you do. She is doing this to cause trouble and upset.

In addition this is being done by her deliberately to get attention/supply at your wedding where the attention is on your husband and you. Narcissistic type behaviour like this should not at all be rewarded.

She asked, you replied.... Leave her to it. My Mil chose something quite similar to my mums dress which I spent ages worrying about as I didn't want to upset either by pointing this out. In the end no one will be looking at her, they will be looking at you. Anyway, she'll regret it.... August in Spain in a black dress, she'll be sweating her tits off!

I don’t think anyone is likely to see a black dress as ‘bridal’, train or no train, anyway.

I sure as hell would. That one definitely.
(And I'd add in all the other associations with the MOG wearing black to boot.)

Having seen the price, I suspect it will arrive and she will try it on and be disappointed with it. Then she will find something else.

Some of the suggestions on here are so unkind they are quite weird. Getting people to snigger at her? Cutting her out of the wedding? Unless there really is a back story then all this is about is a dress that isn't very appropriate.

I’m in Spain right now

its hot here and a black dress with a train will be boiling for her

her make up will melt.

Just saw the dress. It is like a vampire wedding dress! Someone needs to talk sense into your MIL. I would tell her straight that if she is wearing that aberration, she is not in your wedding photos. I feel sorry for you OP. You are not being unreasonable at all.

I mean that’s an incredible dress. I absolutely love it.

not helping I know 😂

Omg just saw the photo. It looks like a black wedding dress!!!!
no yanbu, it’s weird for her to wear that! And she really shouldn’t have asked if you thought if was appropriate if she was planning on ignoring you anyway..

I might have agreed, but the frock is marketed as an actual wedding dress. I'd be going ballistic.

Not if it has been ordered tailored to her figure. I don't think you can send back a tailored fit item.

I saw the photo and thought "Hell no" and then I saw the one of the back of the dress and thought "attention seeker".

It is wholly inappropriate to wear a black wedding dress to the wedding. I was hoping that the dress could be altered to work but I cannot see any way to shorten the dress without the back lace panel then becoming the focus so I really think that the dress will have to go back or she'll have to cancel the order.

The OP said it’s a similar style to her wedding dress, so yeah it will look odd if the two of them are wearing similar things in opposite colours at the wedding…

Do we know if she ordered off Ali Express or from the bridal website itself? If it's from Ali Express, perhaps the dress that will arrive will look nothing like the one in the bridal website #fingerscrossed

I want to see the back 😆

If she can't send it back, she can keep it for next Halloween.

So will look like a zombie rather than vampire bride 😂

Omg, lovely dress but she'll look like a prize plonker in that at your wedding 🫣