AIBU - Mother in Law's dress at my wedding.

[MumofHennHals]

My mother in law ( mother of the groom ) has sent me a picture of the dress she ordered today, asking for 'honest opinion on if it's appropriate'

However when I gave honest opinion, she didn't like it and is rejecting anything I say.

We are getting married in August, in Spain... the very is a very citrus sevillian orange feel...

I've decorated it with bright orange flowers, grape fruits, my bridesmaids are a creamy yellow, my husband to be will be in beige as will his groomsmen, my father and his father.

His mum has decided to wear a black dress, similar shape to mine WITH A TRAIN!!!!!!!

Am I wrong in saying 'can we keep it a little more summery, light and shaped less BRIDAL?'

I don't mind what other guests wear but she will be in a lot of the family group official photos, I've put a lot of thought in my wedding colour palette to want the photos to be vibrant.

I know MN hates wedding talk and I'll probably be slagged off - but hey ho, ultimately AIBU? I'm so chilled in every other wedding aspect.

I think black is ok to a wedding... In the autumn or winter. But I see why you are unhappy. The dress is giving evening ball gown/ Met Gala vibes.

Hmm 🤔 good luck with tackling this OP!

That photo has been taken in Seville. She has probably Googled "Seville/wedding dress" and that picture has come up so she thinks it's appropriate.

Except that in that dress it's the MOG who's thinking about the photos, not just OP.

I don't think that dress is suitable for an MOG or MOB or tbh pretty much anyone except the bride at a wedding. In ANY colour.

If she's happy to boil alive could you suggest something like this?

https://clubllondon.com/products/lady-green-satin-asymmetric-maxi-dress-with-bow-cl129977047?_gl=11kflxty_up*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQiA88a5BhDPARIsAFj595jgUwBme4Gs_OKUQHcdf4XDAqywsoMv7srn-GIlxn05evQuv7EBvGAaAk9qEALw_wcB

She's not going to upstage anyone. It's a ghastly, tacky, cheap dress but if she wants to wear a hideous, cheap, faux glamorous dress let her. If I saw anyone wearing that I'd just think "terrible dress"

Dress on website
Same dress on Ali Express

A beautiful dress and I'm sure it will be fine. Older women in Spain/Portugal often wear black to weddings. Personally I think the days have passed when you can try to dictate other people's clothes for all sorts of reasons.

Magic Eraser?

This is a problem for your H2B to sort out.

"Mum, if you wear black to the wedding everyone will assume you don't approve of the marriage; is that the case?"

"No" (hopefully)

"Great, then you can pick an outfit that is wedding-appropriate. Ask OP if you want tips on the colour palette etc."

Job done.

I doubt very much that photo was taken in Seville. I think a photo of Saville has been downloaded and that dress was photoshopped on to it.

I don't think I even paid attention to what people wore to my wedding.

How big is the train??!!

That’s literally a black wedding dress and quite funereal. What is she thinking?

Could you be really tactful and try to include her more in the bridal party by finding a dress in the colour of the grooms tie or something?

What about suggesting she wears it in the evening and gets something else for the daytime. She’ll look ridiculous in that dress in the day.

She needs a black hat or a fascinator with a veil to complete her ensemble.

That dress is not your mother of the groom outfit - it is clearly trying to compete with the bride in style / outdo the bride and wearing black - well!!

I think her son should tell her she will be the talk / laughing stock of the wedding and will look foolish.

He should spell it out that people will laugh and talk about for a) for wearing a wedding dress to her sons wedding and b) for wearing black to her sons wedding. He should say that he cant stop her wearing it but he doesn't like it and wont defend her for wearing it.

I do agree with this. People are very quick to shout “bridezilla” but that dress is one step short of having a black veil to match..

Could you use the link someone posted up thread to point out it's literally a wedding dress and therefore inappropriate?

www.moonlightbridal.com/Product/MoonlightCouture/H1549B/

See second photo on link

How big is the train

Isn't there a Sex and the City episode where Charlotte wears a black bridesmaid dress and her line is something like "At weddings I'm always 'don't look at me, look at the bride'. Well this time people are gonna look at me!" Maybe your MIL saw the same episode and ran with it???

As a rule I would agree with others that you can share your opinion but you cannot tell her she cannot wear a particular dress, but I do hope she sought views from other friends and family who will tell her the truth.

Let her wear it but restrict the photos she in on the ground that she doesn’t match the colour scheme

I wore a long black dress with a cream shawl and large cream hat as mother of the groom.. it didn't have a train!! My son and DIL knew beforehand and had no issue with it. In terms of guests thinking I was making a negative statement at the wedding anyone could see I adore my DIL, and she adores me.

Oh let her way what she likes. The correct response should have been 'lovely'

I've just been to a countryfied, rustic wedding and the mother of the groom looked like she was going for a day out in the royal enclosure at Ascot. No one cared. As long as people are happy and comfortable that is all that counts.

Daughter was getting married in Las Vegas ( valley of fire ) and the photographer said any mums who turn up in Black, Red or Cerise goes to the back of the pictures cause they are not colours we appreciate.

I think her son should tell her she will be the talk / laughing stock of the wedding and will look foolish.

I agree. I would laugh at her (well obviously not to her face)

Yes matching colour schemed outfits only allowed in the photos .