AIBU for wanting to stipulate certain gifts aren't welcome at my baby shower?

[ChaosPersonified]

There is a hereditary allergy in my family for a very common ingredient in a lot of baby and new mum products and we all suffer from sensitive skin and can react to Sensitive skin products.
Is there a way I can politely add to invites to only buy certain brands of toiletries/ products or for people to check with my friends (the organisers of the shower) before purchasing products, as I would hate for people to waste money but I also don't want either myself or the baby to suffer.
Or do I just stipulate no toiletries whatsoever to be safer?

My ex has said I'm being demanding asking for specific items and that he's sure the reactions won't be that bad....

It’s fair enough if the organisers can say no skincare/toiletries please due to allergies. Asking for specific brands or products is a bit much.

I would go with "no toiletries" (which is absolutely fine!), there are plenty of other things to get for a newborn and it's a bit of a faff for the gifter to look at the ingredients etc.

Generally baby showers sound grabby. Can you just stipulate no gifts?

If you are bringing a gift for Mum or baby, please be aware that there is a family allergy to ‘lanolin’ which is often found in toiletries. Do avoid such products.

Do any of you actually have the allergy or just sensitive skin?

I think you’re being outrageous to ask for a certain brand

surely if your friends and family are coming they’ll all know anyway seeing as so many of you suffer?

ask for stuff without it in but I think asking for more than that is a bit much

YANBU do a gift list, I wouldn’t care

And if anyone would bring such an item. Rather than tell them it is banned. I would regift it.

YABU if you get something unsuitable just donate it to a baby bank or give it to someone who can use it. Asking for no toiletries or a specific kind is really presumptuous and a bit rude.

Yabu for having a baby shower too, but that's another thread.

Of course you're not being unreasonable. I'm sure anyone there is a friend of yours or member of your family and they wouldn't want you or your baby to have anything that was going to affect them.

are you arranging it?
or someone in your behalf?

No you don't want to be specifying brands for gifts you're hoping to receive. It's crass. Could you request no gifts please, donations to a local mum and baby unit instead?

Oh yes!

do this. I never had a baby showrr for either of mine. But both mine were born early and we spent years in a hospital so it all paled into the background obviously.

that’d the easier way I think. Ask for no gifts

Agree, just say no gifts

Yes! I didn’t have a baby shower but both of mine spent a very long time as did I. Over an year in hospital as we were so hnwrll

me and my family made donations to the baby unit for that reason

they always need stuff

No toiletries due to allergies - polite and sensible. Specifying brands comes across as being precious so I'd avoid doing that. Have a lovely baby shower!

I would have the organiser of the shower relay this politely to the invitees.

I won't use brands like Johnson&Johnson due to my own sensitive / dermatitis prone skin. I didn't have a baby shower but did get a few of these things as presents after he was born. I just donated them to the nearest baby bank.

I know y'all are kind of new to the concept of baby showers, but the point of the baby shower is to "shower" the mother with things that she needs for the baby. Without gifts there's no point to having a baby shower.

YABU to have a baby shower and expect gifts. This is yet another tacky and commercial thing people feel obliged to take part in. Like weekends abroad for stag and hen parties. What happened to just an evening out? By all means have a get together to celebrate the incoming arrival of your baby but stipulate no gifts. People shouldn't feel obliged to buy a gift now and then again when the baby is born, especially in the current economic climate. And if I was invited and received a gift list stipulating certain brands I would think you were incredibly grabby.

How about specifying no gifts at all? Baby showers are so grabby.

Just say no gifts. It's all so grabby 🤢

DITTO

If 'baby showers' with gifts are the norm among the OPs friends and family, saying 'no gifts' might cause awkwardness.

Just get the organisers to politely request no toiletries because of allergies.

I feel your pain, opening poster. I react to sulphate in shampoo, soap and body wash.

If I use a shower gel with, for example, SLS in it, I'll be scratching in my sleep until I bleed. So family and friends know it's tricky to buy me toiletries. And last time I looked (checking to see if I could use them) Johnson &Johnson products all had SLS in them.

So I said you aren't being unreasonable to ask for no toiletries.

Say no gifts or ask people to bring a book as a gift do that baby has a little library started for them.