My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

[AHungryCat]

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

This thread is on a par with Mary of Teck. Well done OP! 😻🐭🕊️

Not let your muse go to the toilet in peace

😁

do as I did and drop a seagull in.

It wasnt really keen on the battering it was getting from the catflap, but once Id got a good hold of its wing I managed to drag in through.

I didnt kill it though. So nobody can moan. But they bloody did

You surely mean staff? Humans are staff.

Jeffrey doesn't have a leg to stand on with a name like that.

Haven’t RTFT but maybe you’re not leaving enough innards for her? She might feel more loved if you share parts eg at her bedroom door as a first thing in the morning present? Or if you are sharing could be she wants some mice or bats for a bit of variety?

Carpet is for amateurs. Aim for some important and irreplaceable paperwork.

Ha, climb the Christmas tree, it can be great fun especially if you manage to tip it over and they all get unseasonably angry, you may even get lucky and make the silly little lights go out but don't try to bite through the long green thing which disappears into the wall!

Just leave her. Don't give any clue, just leave. She'll be distraught, posters up all over the streets, fb posts etc but make sure you're not found. It serves her right.

Best POST

You need to change your whole mindset . 'My owner' - there's your issue, mate!

When my owner tried that shit with me, I ripped the collar off, told her to piss off and brought home a big fat mouse to get my point across

I actually think your owner is right, you sound Grabby going for birds. I mean what’s wrong with mice ffs!

methinks you have Stockholm syndrome

Is the cat’s name on purpose?

If so, great reference!

Are you saying she is telling you what to do? Who does she think she is? 🙄

You need to make it as hard as possible for your slave to feed you.

• make sure you only eat 2 out of the 4 flavours of pouch in a box.
• lick the gravy/jelly off and leave the rest
• pretend to like a food. Then, when you see your slave arrive with a large box of it, refuse to ever eat it again

Eventually, your slave will be so fed up they won't care what you eat from the wonderful smorgasbord of the outside world.

Careful now…she might end up putting you in one of these monstrosities!

Do the birds die laughing instead?

Although this thread is funny and light-hearted, I don’t care about the flaming I’ll get. Domestic cats are a scourge on small mammal and bird populations throughout the world. If you have one, keep it inside and don’t let it roam outside freely. Cats can’t help their natural hunting instincts, and they will kill anything they can catch.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/aug/14/cats-kill-birds-wildlife-keep-indoors

My thoughts exactly. Cats don't have owners, they have staff.

I listened to my slave owner, and since then I’ve only brought in birds and mice that are alive. I’ve made friends with them. The other day my slave owner came home from work and saw me sitting on the kitchen table next to a cute little bird. We were just chilling but she went mad anyway. Can’t win. 🙄 She didn’t even give me credit for managing to jump up on the table, I mean I am 17 years old after all. 😭

Think yourself lucky.

Look what I've got to wear so 'I don't scary the bloody birds...'

I will be the laughing stock of the street if I am spotted. Bastards.

Cats can’t help their natural hunting instincts, and they will kill anything they can catch

Have you even RTFT? We do not kill everything we catch, we leave it half dead after torturing it for a little while. I thank you.