My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

[AHungryCat]

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

And even their tails are overrated.

On my slaves wedding day I brought them back a right feast. I laid not one but 3 mice by the back door. They had a man with a camera who was most impresses with my artistic offerings and took a photo however my female slave was not overly thrilled with my gift even though I laid them out in a lovely row. I was a bit miffed my gift didn't make the wedding book but some other people did - I mean purr-lease I put much more effort into my gift than the humans who bought things from that on screen shopping place.

Adult cats or kittens are all welcome here.

The second was enough?

Humpf, I have breakfast at home, and then I visit my second slave and she gives me another three (Dreamie) breakfasts. And her relative gave me milk which apparently isn't good for cats, but I like it and it doesn't give me tummy ache. So now I jump on the table when she eats her porridge to get milk. And I don't even live there.

You sound like an amateur. No offence, like.

Do you have a neighbour with a fish pond?

Nick one of the expensive looking ones! Everyone will make a real big fuss over that. Your slave might have to fork out for a cover for said neighbours pond to try and stop you stealing more

One of ours would like to know, if he's not supposed to chase birds, does that include geese? He likes stalking geese, I dread to think what will happen if he gets one.

Greg? Is that you 👀 😆

If you are going to throw up because of the collar, make sure you do it on the carpet, or better, a really special rug...

Which to mice - leave them on the pillow - owners love that.

LTB.

Also, get your ducks in a row (ready to eat them).

Don't fret too much, you know what's coming soon.....

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
your branches green delight us.

Oh Christmas Tree. Oh Christmas Tree
They hang them from the ceiling just to spite us.
🎄🎄

Introduce yourself to Sid, he's a master of finding the very best dining places!

Simple. Use the bells on the collar as training aids

I caught a BigFurry this summer - it was for the kittens, ok? I tried bringing it in for them to play with - I was on the windowsill, rubbing the new Furry against the glass, and they kept shooing me away, talking about how it looked like I was starring in a zombie film, waving my headless Furry around (I enjoy the brains, I'm a connoisseur). In the end, they wrestled my toy which was for the babies , off of me on the doorstep before I was allowed in.

Anyway. They put a collar on me, with a bell. It upped my game considerably, I quickly learnt to be much much better at acquiring BigFurries things. So they ordered more bells. Unbelievable really. I walked around sounding like Santa's fucking elf in the middle of July. Totally levelled up my skills. Course, they had to order the collars in a twelve pack cos they're so easy to pop off.

Or at the side of their bed, just where their feet land during a loo dash.

It's not 'My cat', it's the cat who honours you with his presence and never forget it!

Yanbu.

Have you tried shitting in their trainers to get your point across ?

I've always tried to throw up in places they can't easily reach.

I had a good one a few weeks ago - they had to move a heavy bookcase to get to it and clear it up!

And her relative gave me milk which apparently isn't good for cats, but I like it and it doesn't give me tummy ache.

Oh yes I love milky things too. Especially creamy yoghurt. Even better when it's fresh in the bowl for my owner's breakfast and she hasn't started eating it yet. I mean, who puts yoghurt in a bowl and doesn't start eating it straight away? I'm very stealthy so I'm pretty sure she's never noticed I've lapped some of it up....

Ooh, the man across the road gives me sardines!

BTW Six Dinners Sid is my great uncle.

He's a legend in his own lifetime.

No no no. Far too easy to clean up. Best to injure the mouse badly then chase it under a heavy piece of furniture to die there undetected - until the smell begins.

Happy days.

LTB

Just checking in.

My name is Hector and love squirrels. Live opposite a graveyard so birds are for wimps.

Do it in next door's garden instead.