My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

[AHungryCat]

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

Why do the slaves not like the fact that I store bits of wet food under the armchair for later snacking ?
I always find it by smell.
Eventually

They are just bores.

I love it when she buys me new food to try. I lap it up, purring and give her big yums, rubbing my head against her leg etc. Then when she buys a massive box of the same stuff, I poke it disdainfully with my paw, give her my best "What's this shit?" look, and walk away. Cracks me up, every time. 🤣

And they fall for it every time!

I'm constantly amazed at humans inability to work out we are fucking with them.

Why is that big creature who hides the food so stupid? It puts the Dreemys in a cupboard and shouts at me for opening the cupboard and ripping the packet open. It should be rewarding me for my deftness and ingenuity, and it's not my fault that MiniMe was sick from eating too many.

I left a small tea break snack in my Humans bag. She was not very grateful when she got to work.

OMG, you are super cute or super mean cat.
I do have a hold on my humans, but putting a mouse in their bag..... I am not sure how long it will take for them to forgive me after that....
I suppose is better a dead one than an alive one!

I lovingly placed a dead crow next to my human’s pillow, early one morning, so that it would be the first thing she would see when she opened her eyes. She was so excited!

I was saving this dessicated pigeon corpse to do some crafting and along she comes and steps on it. The crushing sound the bones made was awful. Ruined it she did. And what was all the fuss about bare feet? Never did me any harm.

You are totally not handling your owner right! You have to show them who is boss.

Personally, I just ignore my owner if I see a nice pheasant! They are easy to catch and when I grab them I show them off to my owner so they can see how skilled I am at pheasant catching. I then eat the whole thing, head, legs and all so my owner doesn't have to feed me. They still get cross with me which is ridiculous considering I'm saving them a fortune in dog food.

If my owner decides I can't be trusted off lead, I just tug really hard or slip my collar because let's face it, deer and pheasant are delicacies and I'm not going to be prevented from chansing them and eating them if I want.

Humans just don't get it.

I find the half dead one to be most effective.

Yeah, half dead ones are good gor a bit of evening drama in the house.
But putting it inside their handbag for my humans to find when they are out hunting to provide my beloved human provided meals and toys... I am not sure. I think I rather do not go there.
@MigraineHangover . Which kind of cat are you? Pheasants and deer!? Do you live in Longleat by any chances?

I think they're actually - wait for it - a DOG! How dare they post here, it's supposed to be a Safe Space for cats.

😂😂

Dogs that identify as cats are still dogs

begone with you until you can safely vomit for amusement

Just behave yourself!! You get fed, you don't need grubby fatty treats !

order your kibble supper & leave the birdies alone!

A dog!
Hissssssssss!🙀

If you can't spew up furballs then you aren't a proper cat!!

What's more, a dog trying to tell us how to cat!

The very nerve.

@AutumnLeaves24 you are coming down with something or you hace a concussion from running into a door.... there is no other explanation for GOOD behaviour!

I have developed a new strategy for the humans, called “bite the hand that doesn’t feed me”!

For instance, me and my loopy sister get treats Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays when they talk to the grown up kitten on the laptop - so she can see us! Quite rightly, she still loves us (although it’s incomprehensible in the case of dimwit sister)!

Saturday night, the giant human man sat on the settee, eating his treats in the crinkly plastic. I tried the sad, sorrowful eyes on him, but no, he just carried on stuffing his mouth! I got more and more frustrated, until I was glaring at him! He put his hand to stroke him, so I bit his hand, something I never do normally!

This worked as the woman felt sorry for me, and got our treats out!

Should have said “To stroke me….”

My keepers have blocked the cat flap completely so I have no chance of hunting tonight!
In truth it may mean I’m due a visit to see my GP - hope it’s nothing painful - but I will howl all the way there just in case

Last time I broke the cat flap completely in my efforts to catch those pesky birds mice bats and frogs (I haven’t graduated to rabbits and squirrels yet as I’m not fully grown)
This time my owners are not taking any chances

I had a most satisfactory game of knobheads with her indoors today. Do i want to go out, do I want to come in? I'm glad they don't have a cat flap as I enjoy this so much.