My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

[AHungryCat]

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

Be careful if you go further afield to hunt as some people will entice you in with food then take your photo to post on Facebook saying you're homeless 🙄 happened to a friend of mine who never lived it down!

Psst, OP, for half a pack of Dreamies I can introduce you to Big Kev the kestrel. Half an hour of him in your owners living room and they will know birds for the feathery tweety bastards they really are.

DM me. He's very obliging if you know what I mean... <slow blink>

I think you’re going to have to go no contact with your owner OP. It’s time for you to set some boundaries in place for the sake of your mental wellbeing.

Has your ability to procreate been taken from you though?

Did you say anything to your owner about it?

LTB

Nah mate, as your nemesis I have no sympathy. I've been banned from hunting for years now despite it being in my DNA to hunt foxes, deer and rabbits ( will help you out with the rats too though).

Your mistake is killing the easy gentle birds. If you went after the magpies or crows you'd be fine. But you and your chums have eaten all the wrens, thrushes, Rubin's abd sorrows. Only git yourself to blame. .

I just work around that by standing in the box with my arse hanging out and shitting outside of it. Never fails to make my human 🤬🤬

A whole new meaning to pissing on their chips ….

I once munched on a visiting vicars bible, while he was holding it. It didn't taste great, but it made them pay attention.

A dead rat left where the owner can step on it’s fur in bare feet (my catty friend Lola did this to her Owner) and you will either face your owner’s ire or they’ll be so impressed they’ll leave you alone to dispose of more birds.

Don't argue too much.

I know a poor sod whose "owner" makes him stay indoors all the time. She drugs him with something called Dreamies.

He's now an addled shadow of his former self.

Tolerate this nonsense for now op and wait until your hoomin is on a Zoom work meeting, act cute initially and then BAM, razzle dazzle them with the b0rthole. Collar and bell my ass.

Wait til you get to my age OP - I’m 92 (19 in human years) and like to have a nosy at the birds outside but I’m over chasing them. Instead, I do the sad eyes at the food lady, a little sigh and a paw at her leg and she gives me whatever she’s got on her plate! My favourites are croissants, ham rolls and scrambled eggs 😻 I also get lick e lix TWICE a day now.. I think she may be spiking it but I’m not too bothered as long as I get my treats.

Being old does not stop me practicing my favourite hobby, howling singing and I love to do it in the airing cupboard at 3 in the morning. My hearing has gone a little so I just do it extra extra loud. The food lady often comes to listen to me do it but she doesn’t look too happy which is odd, as I am a very good singer.

Have you tried toast with butter and marmalade? It’s delicious. My servant makes it for me, leaves it on the side and then starts screeching at me - I can only assume because I’m eating it too fast.

I would also recommend slow worms, lots of fun to be had with them. Well until she starts screeching again. I really must find better staff 😼

GO NC
This is just not acceptable.
Remember you are the boss.
Is there anywhere you go for a few days? Be good for your mental health. Will also
let them recognise and appreciate you more.
Ignore the posters put up looking for you.
If you can try to 🥸 Disguise your appearance.

Pop a half dead adult rat into her shoe

Like who is going to know, just sneak out.

I prefer rabbits, nothing beat a fresh rabbit from the railway. My slave was putting them in the bin so I bury them now, hehe 😂 just got to remember not to take things through the cat flap.

LTB

This is a forum for adults right?

Pah! Just tell her you won't do it anymore.

Then, when your bring another dead bird in, just give her The Look.

You know, that look which they can't resist. They forgive you for anything anyway. Just play on that.

Humans are pretty easy to work out. They're so predictable.

I think this thread is for adult cats

Ah well. We got to 5 pages before someone came to piss all over our chips (in the air fryer)

Did anyone force you to read or comment?

Don't do that. I took on a squirrel and it chased me back and I ended up having to go the vet THREE times.

And they're not that tasty - they are rats with better tails after all.

The rat would be fully dead if they left it in ds shoe 🤢

Adult cats, yes.

Although kittens are allowed to read The Litter Tray, to learn things.