My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

[AHungryCat]

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

Mate, do what I do.

Just leave them a pile of random feathers in the house.

Watch with amusement from your bed whilst they search high and low for the rest of it.

They really freak out.

Love,

Coco

I think he's turned up over the road, see thread "there's a starving cat on my doorstep".

Good you need to give them a chance you and your ilk have killed about 50 MILLION in a year.

Sounds like your human has delusions of grandeur. Owner? Pfft. If you start letting this sort of nonsense go unchecked, next thing you know the family baby will be dressing you up and pushing you round in a pram.

Whatever you do, don't eat the packet food they night offer. Just looking at it, it's clearly full of UPFs. Organic, raw, preferably live food is much better. Start training your human to get on board with the diet by bringing them things to try: mice, rats, birds, anything you can fit through your cat-flap, really. They might need help with the meal prep - so if you're bringing them something fresh, maybe pull off a limb or two to give them a fighting chance.

I've also managed to lose two air tags so my hoomans can't see where I'm hanging out!
I expressed my disdain for them by leaving some nice guts by mamas bed so she stepped on yesterday morning.

Go vegan.

OMG, OP. I don't want to jump straight to advising you get a diffurce, but this is a tail of controlling behaviour and isn't OK.

I mean, there isn't even a whisker of compromise here. You're not there just to eat the animals she wants you to eat, you know? And do you tell her what to eat? NO! (As long as she shares it, obviously).

Honestly, I just wouldn't be amewsed by this at all. You need to lay down the paw.

She won’t let you eat them? Who on God’s earth does this person think she is? I mean, did she seriously think you’d stay cute and kitten-like for evermore? What are claws for? You’re a pred-a-tor fgs!

Here, I’ve got an idea. She won’t let you eat them so bring her a live one. A big, flapping magpie and deposit it in the bedroom.

See how she likes that! 😹

You youngsters seriously need to train your cat servants better. Mine think I'm blind. They spend the day running round after me, opening doors, feeding me, putting me on the bed... repeat. My highlight of the day is to wake them up when they're sleeping to pick me up and put me back on the bed wait until they asleep then do it again. Forget the birds!

I prefer my servants food, her ladyship said the male servant shouldn't give me chicken,but he sneaks me a bit. Today they had pork. She said for religious reasons I can't have that but had some anyway. Yummy. She told male servant I was going to be sat outside on Christmas day but her elderly aunt will give me something to eat I bet. Bah humbug to that. Servants are so controlling. I feel your pain.

It shows she loves you dearly. She doesn’t want you roaming around getting injured or stolen. Be glad. Believe it or not there are some cat owners that leave their pets roaming and if they get killed by cars they get another cat and guess what- they leave that one to roam around too.

They even convince themselves that a short ‘natural’ life is better than keeping their pet inside and providing care and stimulation to mimic hunting games.

You know all those posters you see looking for lost cats? They have owners that think cats belong outside fending for themselves.

My attempts at getting my lot to improve their hunting skills was met with complete ingratitude. I'd carefully bring a live mouse or bird for them to practice pouncing to hone their skills because, honestly they are utterly crap hunters.

What's the thanks I've got? The BELL OF SHAME! I'm reduced to catching butterflies now. All the neighbourhood cats laugh at me and call me Jingles.

Don't let this happen to you!

Do a humongous Piss on their bed…dads side obviously…( I’m looking at you big orange Tom cat😡)

If your helpmeets are failing to serve you properly, learn to develop cystitis as a "stress response". If they're a bit slow and don't realise straight away, you can help them out by climbing into the bathtub and straining to get a single drop of wee out, while yowling mournfully. (You can also do this in the wok, on any pile of clean laundry, or on the miniature helpmeet while it sleeps, but the bastards may get the hump about it).

Wait until they go to the V-E-T for the extortionately priced antibiotics and learn to honour you properly, before making a full and rapid recovery. You may do this as often as you wish, but I would advise waiting until the last batch of antibiotics has just passed it's use by date.

I like a challenge myself - I tried going for the four parakeets in next door’s conifer this morning. I would have caught one if a pesky squirrel hadn’t come along and scared them away - so I got him instead!

Snakes. Does the trick every time. Particularly if they are venomous. (do wear proper gear while bringing it home and ditch that somewhere) Leave the snake in the middle of the lounge or under the dining room table. Sit somewhere high and meow in a piteous manner.

Ahh bring in a live mouse at 1am then jump on her bed so she wakes up to see it running underneath the wardrobe! She'll love it 💜

You need furapy tOP cat, cos you think that you have an owner! You need to sort that right now and then you can deal with your slaves deluded behaviour. Stoopid hooman bean.

she should be grateful that you get yourself a a nice takeaway now and then. I regularly pop out for a Big Macmouse. Don’t always fancy my Gourmet, though I am partial to a catnip Dreamie whilst I’m surveying the bird table from the luxury of my conservatory cushion.
hope that helps
Chairman Meow x

I feel your pain.

My servant stopped me going out early in the morning when the juicy little rodents are about.

I was doing her a favour...running around the house after them was doing wonders to eradicate a belly that fought with me every time I tried to get knee space.

If they don't want bird, then bring other food for them.

I've found the best reactions were to a not quite dead vole inside a boot, discovered only when the senior female slave put her foot in it (why do humans have such inadequate paws that they need covering for so many surfaces?)

Or freshly slain mice on the pillow for breakfast, though you'll probably find that they don't eat them whilst they're still warm.

My advice would be to do what I did...crap in the very top of mum's slipper and leave no trace. Then just wait for the squelch followed by the scream then just slink on past head held high and exit stage left. Charles x

I am particularly proud of the mole I brought in the other day for my human. She says she’s getting another one of those collars with the bell on it, but hilariously she buys the ones that quick release so I don’t strangle myself on a fence or something, so they never last long with me.

Mwa ha ha haaa 🐈

Mine has the audacity to refuse to eat my really generous gifts.

I’ve only ever brought rats, leaves and insects and they end up in the big black box.

RUDE.

Oh, there was a pigeon once, but quite frankly it was on its last legs so it was a mere kindness.

Ooo, Muffin from two doors down goes through these like wildfire!

I love the way she struts home bare necked half an hour after a new one makes its appearance. 😍