My owner won't let me eat birds anymore

[AHungryCat]

What should I do? She tried to talk to me about it but fgs

@Longboi4eva

OP your DP(erson)sounds very controlling. She has no right to tell you what you can eat. However there is something in your post that does come across a little 'predatory' and that's also a red flag. Tbh you sound like the sort to go out all night while she sits in waiting for you with your dinner ready. Then expect affection on your terms, am I right?

Vomit in their shoes, OP. That’ll learn ‘em.

Sod leaving the liver about, that's amateur stuff. What you do to show true displeasure is to leave the gall bladder on the stairs. In the dark.

You are allowed to sit half way up and watch the resulting chaos, which works particularly well if The Owner also falls over you on their way down whilst making gagging noises.

Hi I am Bellamy real bad attitude cat, I wanted to do a special surprise for my pet human, so I went it on late night hunt, and found him this really juicy squirrel, I didn't kill it or hurt, but wanted it to be surprise at 4am in the morning, I feel the human was really u grateful, what should I do.

best ever thread on Mumsnet. My cat approves. 😂It's purrfect

I think you have to play the game with this one. If your owner has told you this, then she sounds so ungrateful and doesn’t deserve the birdy gifts you no doubt take her on a regular basis.
Just smile sweetly and tell her you won’t do it, and you’ll stick to mice instead, as I think most humans don’t mind that.
But what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her- just do it out of sight from home and have as much fun as you want with it.
This is VERY important that she doesn’t find our, as she might get you a bell to wear on your collar, and we all know how cringeworthy that is!

My slave refused to feed me lunch, apparently the second breakfast I had was sufficient. Reader, it was not. So I have taken myself out and am ignoring all calls to come in for dinner. That will teach them.

Ripped my bell to pieces within seconds. There’s lots of info on the cat channel the humans keep putting their ‘cute’ videos on… I mostly just bring the mice rats and rabbits inside nowadays; you can get them into the bath and play with them for hours, plus your slave has to clean up the mess after you so you have a nice clean plate again for the next time!

@GROMIT50 good GRIEF!

that is A level cat. I bet that tail spooked them

I was hoping you'd post! Honestly though, 'owner', please, please, value yourself more. You deserve so much better. It might take a bit of watching and planning, but get your chicks in a row, and LTB with your tail held high. There's someone properly appreciative out there for you x

Like Cluedo

the gall bladder on the stairs. In the dark.

Was all over the outside and had made a cute little puddle underneath. They took me to the vets though 🤬 I didn’t have a UTI I just wanted extra treats but they didn’t work that out

.

Mmm lovely. Would have been top tier if they'd have heated it up a bit before noticing.

Owner FFS? What the hell is wrong with you? She's your slave, not your owner.

Right?! OP, where is your self respect, allowing yourself to be oppressed like this by one of those silly, gangly, bald-bodied human thingies. No wonder Jeremy at 57 takes the piss out of you.

Time to either start asserting some dominance or getting your half eaten ducks in a row ready to LTB.

Have you tried the delicacy of flies and spiders... preferably huge juicy ones.

I personally don't like the taste much so spit them out usually on the stairs where no one notices until they stand on them but the torture provides hours of late night entertainment.

It must have brought a new meaning to pissing on your chips!

Seriously OP - sorry, OC - you need to get a new butler. If they try giving you that kibble just tell them you're eating out and can you bring them back a vole. I find that live birds are the best - all that glorious fluttering and shrieking. Or a live rodent (and watch the spare human tuck his trousers into his socks - something about it running up his leg.)

You have had some good suggestions and we have confidence in you - you've got this!

Puke all over her bed! That'll teach her! 😸

To be absolutely honest, it doesn't have to be the gall bladder, you can use any wobbly green bits.

Piss on their bed at 4am.

Sharpen your delicate claws on the sofa, piss on their bed, or have a good ole boke at 4am next to said bed.

In the middle of the night shit by their bed or in their slippers.

We're the same. Our Mummy puts bells on our collars, but it just makes us stealthier and better hunters!

Bring it in and let it poo all over the kitchen while they try to catch it.