to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

Help her out. You might need help from her one day.

We had no shower for a month
We went to the gym daily to shower.
Suggest this

Local authority gym. Pay as you go

Quite, @user1497787065 and @RampantIvy .
It's as if no one can do anything for anyone else even if it involves a mild inconvenience. It's a favour.

Really?
I have never been to a gym in my life, let alone been a member. It's possible she's the same.

I honestly wouldn’t have an issue with this..

If the neughbour is 'lost' just because OP cannot accommodate this then I'm not sure she's a great neighbour either.

OP isn't the one being 'an arse'.

I’d let her but agree a specific time that works for you. You never know you might need similar one day! Great to have good neighbours. She probably feels awful having to ask. x

The thing is, for some folk, someone showering in your bathroom is definitely more than a minor inconvenience. 🫣

I would feel just the same as OP.
And I wouldn't dream of asking a neighbour can I shower in their house. Family or close friends, fine. The woman's shower is only gonna be out of action for a short time, can't she just have a stand up sink wash?!

Well, that's a shame. They'll have the door closed and won't take long.
It's life, really, getting on with others like this.

I have autism and this request would send me into a tailspin. However I’d try and do it because I try to be part of a community. I may need a similar favour though I’d be unlikely to get the courage to ask.

You haven’t mentioned an issue like that so I think you are being a bit mean

Mumsnet: I never open the door to anyone ever.

Also Mumsnet: you must let a stranger come in to shower.

I've had similar issues a few times and it would never occur to me to ask a neighbour, I drive to a friend's house (and alternate friends so I don't piss them off).

I would do it. It costs nothing to be kind and neighbourly.

Also Mumsnet: varied opinions from different posters.

As long as she used her own towel and shower gel etc I'd let her, never know if you might need her help in future.

I wouldn’t hesitate to do this in a spirit of neighbourliness and cooperation.
you never know when you might need a favour back.

It's not 'a shame'.
We're all different.
If someone is happy doing this, then do it. If someone isn't happy doing this, then don't do it.
No need for anyone to judge, shame or be nasty to another poster.

It's not mean.
People can have different reasons for doing or not doing things.

What's this got to do with the current thread? Ask on the other thread if you're interested.

In similar circumstances my neighbour had me and three kids round daily for a week. I put up a shelf for her last week - we have catch ups over a cuppa now and then and like each other. I am lucky to have such an ace neighbour.

If it was a neighbour who I'm on more friendly than neighbourly terms with and they were truly stuck then it wouldn't bother me because my shower room is next to my back door. I also have a key safe so they wouldn't disturb me. However they'd have to be given a time slot so that they don't turn up when I'm using it.