to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

😂

I would want to help,her out. Hate not having a shower.

I don't begrudge my neighbour a shower either, just not mine.
I wonder how much all this extra showering would cost, it might involve considerably increased costs for some people.

OK, she can just say “no”, can’t she? But as you can see from the thread plenty of us wouldn’t have an issue with lending our shower and thus it’s not unreasonable for a neighbour to ask for help.

If people feel uncomfortable saying “no” then that is their concern to deal with.

She'll know it's a lie. OP should at least own her choice to say no.

Imagine one day if you were stuck and needed some help. A broken ankle that meant you couldn’t get to the shops, a car that wouldn’t start when you desperately needed to be somewhere… Imagine you had no friends or relations to ask - just your neighbours. You’d be so grateful for the neighbour that was… neighbourly.

Yes, the shower is a minor inconvenience for you but I don’t think your neighbour’s request is cheeky. She is clearly in a tight spot and you have the capacity to help.

As someone once said, Great acts are made up of small deeds. Be a good neighbour and maybe one day you’ll be grateful for a small - or big - act of kindness that comes your way.

Quite. Why do people always suggest lying?

Of course you say yes.
Arrange a mutually convenient time. If you don't want her in there for hours just drop in a comment about 'of course, no problem, a shower only takes a few minutes anyway'.

You might make a new friend, you never know.

Having said that, I'd never ask. Gym or stripwash.

I'd allow it, it is a kind thing to do.

I assume she does not have a husband and three teenage kids in tow, that would be a bit much.

The cost is your first concern? If you're on UC, then I feel sorry that you couldn't even support someone in this way because you're too poor.
However, in my experience, living in poorer areas has meant that people help and support each other more.

Does she not have a bath?

Neighbour shouldn't have asked and put OP in awkward position, to be quite frank.

What a horrible and assuming reply.

It would be mean to say no. You never know, you might both bond over this and develop a closer friendship. Be neighbourly and say yes with specific times.

I wouldn't be particularly happy about it, but I can't imagine saying no in these circumstances.

Of course OP says whatever she feels comfortable with. If she's asking then that suggests she's struggling with yes being the 'of course' option.

No, she isn't.

I would help her, as it's really not worth losing a good neighbour over.

I completely understand how it's inconvenient for you, but you will come across as very mean if you don't let her.

I had to ask this favour of a neighbour. Literally showered, wrapped bathsheet round me, dressing gown on top, beetled home. Generous thank you present once it was all over. It's a shower not a kidney.

Don't be ridiculous!! 🤦‍♀️

I love the way posters assume that the neighbour is a member of a gym.

If the neighbour still has hot water why can't she have a bath instead? Or doesn't she own a bath?

Either way, yes, I would allow her to use my shower. A few weeks ago my washing machine broke down. I am extremely fortunate that I not only get on with my neighbours but am friends with them. Two different sets of neighbours let me use their washing machines until I could get a new one delivered a couple of days later - no launderettes round here.

MN never fails to astound me. This woman is asking to use a shower every other day. She has moved into the area for work so presumably knows a small number of people. She's asking for a shower not a three course meal. How can this cause inconvenience or worry?

I would do anything I could to help someone out if need be.