to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

Well done OP.
Sounds like you've tried to help her but also know the importance of boundaries.

I actually think some of those thought processes are way out there.

It's not normal to jump straight to paranoia about people's hygiene. Yes we all know examples of witnessing manky behaviour but we also live in the world, sit on seats where ohers have sat, hold railings other people's hands have touched, exist in communal spaces with others every day. And we don't die from it. Most people don't go around in a state of germophobic paranoia.

And the whole "my home is my sanctuary and it will be irredeemably sullied if a stranger sets foot in my bathroom" attitude is honestly not one I have ever encountered in real life. Not once. And I have known some very odd people!

It's great you found a solution that suits you, and yep it would have been fine to say no altogether of course - but glad you feel comfortable with the compromise.

Omg. "Bodily run-off" has sent me over the edge. I am sitting at my desk half-gasping and half-cackling like a madwoman.

Peak batshit thread, this.

No jumping or paranoia, just pointing out verifiable facts that might weigh someone against it. Never said anything even remotely like "my home is my sanctuary"

Maybe you quote tweeted the wrong person because you didn't reply to anything I said.

Good grief, really? Over a couple of words?

You're right, you do sound a bit batshit.

But to each their own, which is the point really :)

I'm guessing she doesn't have a bath or that would have occurred to her-or to get an attachment for the taps?

It's a couple of words which, much like your "naked and wet", are perfectly factual but designed to sound lurid and to make the act of having a shower seem unspeakably gross. As you well know.

Erm, didn't say that either. Did say naked, did not say naked and wet.

Interesting glimpse into your thought processes though.

You're not having a good run are you? 😅😂😆

@AutumnLeaves24
Surprised your neighbours builders didn’t suggest a portaloo for the family.
Guessing the builders must have had one for themselves, or what did they do?

It's late where I am, I've had my shower, now I'm off to bed.

Toodles.

I’m with the MNs that feel this is an unusual theory although I see where you are coming from.
It would be lovely if no one owned anything and we all allowed ‘whoever’ to use everything we have.
However
People rarely leave their keys in their car for people to use
People rarely leave their doors open for everyone to wonder in and out because
they have as much right to your property as you do.

Generally people own stuff and have a personal right to feel they can decide who borrows it

I agree, I'd rather go to my local sports centre to shower than ask a neighbour. I second that it's cheeky.

Same here. It was when a lot of the South had problems due to heavy rain. Before that I had times of no hot water and/or no bathroom because of stuff being done in the house. As you say, not ideal but doable and definitely doable if you have on tap hot water. I think actually, the way that the neighbour has asked is a bit CF. Mentioning the problem and hoping to get an offer is one thing....asking could she possibly use the shower ONCE is ok I think, But "can I use your shower every other day until mine is fixed?" is a bit CF and from what the OP has said, that week will be when a plumber visits and looks at the problem, not when its guaranteed to be fixed. I don't think the situation of living in a place with extreme water shortage is comparable...its kind of self selecting because you wouldn't go live there if it was an issue.

It's your home it's your choice personally I wouldn't allow them to because I don't like randoms in my house don't feel obligated to let her use it just because she asked say sorry no I don't feel comfortable with it and re direct her to somewhere like a leisure centre that may have showers she can use

I spoke about pubes in the shower and not because I and my family don’t clean it very well after each use……thankyou
but because
Ive watched Four in a Bed 🤢

You should check out the thread on the lady who looked after someone’s dog for 5 days when they couldn’t find a kennels.
She knew her because they had kids at the same school and walked their dogs together .

That particular dog walking friend turned out to have an unusual take on life and took the p….

I think it would be a nice neighbourly thing to do to let her use your shower, tbh.

Bippy you’re on form today 😄

Yeah, she asked to borrow the shower, not film a porn movie 🙄

@Bippy2024 congrats on that 11:25 post too. 🤣🤣

I guess it depends - if she has a functioning bath as well, then I'd expect her to use that. If not then I'd agree a few times that are convenient to me for her to come round.

Although a lot of people are fine with their neighbours pubes !

Does that inculde the ones stuck to the ceiling, ( couldn’t resist ) I’m guessing for some anything goes.

So gross

naked neighbour
bodily run off

Purely factual language, though, eh. Not emotive or lurid at all.

I dunno, all the 'yuck' sentiments, the imaginings of verrucas and marauding pubes and 'bodily runoff' and the neighbour terrorising the OP with her naked and wet body... I think some people on here are scared. And a bit titillated.