to not let neighbour use my shower!

[NavyOrca]

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

I feel like this one of those north/south UK things where if you are born north of Birmingham then it's a totally normal request and of course you'd help a neighbour out.

But if you are south of Birmingham, then to ask is a disgusting imposition deserving of lifelong social banishment.

Personally I’d go to the leisure centre. But if my neighbour asked I’d let them, I’d probably just pop out for half an hour. It’s not a huge ask IMO.

Yes.
I would, too.

Sadly for your argument, no, I'm female.
Most of the anti-shower posts on here are not people saying they wouldn't feel safe/need to maintain boundaries. They're just saying the neighbour is being cheeky/imposing, or that because people decades ago used to sluice themselves down in a tin bath or whatever then she should be happy to do that.

well you could ask me - for several children and a DH i'd be less happy about it, but at least once or twice a week for a max of 30 minutes for the kids.

Bucket shower in the bath for the adults in this scenario.

This place is batshit a lot of the time. Never answer the phone or door. Totally ignore all neighbours at all times. Are we populated by Thatcher's "no such thing as society" Children here?

That's a bit of an offensive stereotype. I live in London and am firmly on the 'of course she can use the shower' side.

Like a PP said there are certainly some weirdos on this thread.

Sorry if its already been mentioned, but does the neighbour have a bath? She can get a shower attachment to connect to the taps, so she can shower herself in the bath to wash her hair.

I'd give her a time that would be better for you and ask her not to spend ages in there, but I couldn't say no completely.

My boiler was turned off by housing as was leaking carbon monoxide... it took just over 3 weeks for parts and to be done... during this time I boiled the kettle for small washes or used cold water and I had to wash at local swimming pool. I have no one to ask so there are ways to wash without asking another person. Xx

It gets the hose again...

😁

I don't quite follow. Did I misunderstand? I thought you were doing reductio ad absurdum and saying that, if people will let one individual use their shower, it follows that they would/should let a whole family do so too.
If I'm wrong I apologise.

i asume when i read about people leaving pubes in the shower it is because that is how they, themselves, leave the shower after use.

I have never ever left a shower in a condition that i wouldn't want to step into myself.

I also agree. I've helped my neighbours out loads of times and offered to do shopping for people, given them lifts, etc but I wouldnt feel comfortable with them showering at my place. It doesnt make me selfish or a horrible person - ignore those posts.

Equally, if my shower went out I'd simply go to the leisure centre and shower there. I wouldnt expect to shower in my neighbours home for almost 2 weeks.

I would happily let any of my neighbours use my shower but I know them all well and I am sure they would do the same for me - they were great when we were having a new kitchen put in.
My ex next door neighbour was an arsehole though so the best I would offer him would be the outside cold water hose

I'm sorry but who the fuck asks to do this?

Our boiler was broken for a month with no hot water, never even crossed my mind for a split second to ask any of my neighbors if I could come get naked and wet in their house.

Point is, the neighbour DOES have someone to ask. (or she thought she did...)

get naked and wet in their house.
Again, lurid or what?

Not everyone has a bath! We replaced ours with a shower as we never used it as a bath.

I would probably say yes but we get on really well with our neighbours. I would give set times though so I could get on with my day. If I had a water meter (I don't so hypothetical) I would probably keep an eye on how long they were in there and maybe mention it if they were in there for ages.

What about those of us born in Birmingham?!

TBH I am a southerner through and through (despite Brummie birth!) and I also think it's a completely normal request. We had boiler issues and my neighbour and several friends offered me the use of their showers. Of course you're within rights to say no but it's a bit curmugeonly.

It is.

It really isn't.

Awesome. I know where go go with my DH and five teens when my shower breaks down. Just be kind, right?

Yeah, I know. Obviously if you're using your neighbour's shower you'd check for pubes! Well, I would and you would. Maybe not everyone.

While I wouldn't want the hassle of making sure the bathroom was spotless etc while she was using it, I would help a stuck neighbour, I knew well enough to chat to and go on walks with, out in these circumstances.