Selling the car I use for work.

[itsmeits]

Just that really. Partner has decided he wants to sell the car as things are tight - he has a company Van to do his job and has had permission granted to use it for drop of pick ups at before and after school clubs, incase I can't make it. We work for the same company different sectors.
If he sells the car I can't work! Can't get to my pat h to do my job. Money will be even tighter. I have offered to buy the car from him and reduce what he puts in the bill account to free up some money for him each month. Nope he needs the money now. What the hell am I going to do?!
I have just paid out for some big expenditures
(including on the f*ing car £600, which i didn't mind as I use it mostly) and reduced my savings massively I don't have the funds to get a car - definitely not this side of Xmas.
He thinks all the money of sale of the car will be his. I pointed out I've spent over £1500 on it in repairs (over the last 2 years I have used it) to keep it running and the £1000 towards the cost of buying it.
I know we won't get what we paid for it back it. It has been 5 years since we got it and it wasn't new then.
AIBU

• his name is on the log book it's his car his money

YANBU

• some proceeds should go to me towards being able to get a new car and keep my job.

If you put money towards the deposit of the car it is both your cars, regardless of whose name is on the logbook.

My DP has my old car - I had a work van during covid, when i left that job i handed it back. DP was never given a work van back after furlough and continued to use my car. Dropped me off at work and i had to walk home, walk everywhere - really pissed me off, luckily it wasn't worth much. I ended up going out and buying another car, I was going to trade in but it was not worth it. I told him he could pay the maintenance, insurance and tax on the original car and keep using it, but if anything happened between up is was and still is my car. But then, he didn't help me buy it.

We also split everything else 50/50 apart from TV, etc because I choose to have that.

If you put money towards the deposit of the car it is both your cars, regardless of whose name is on the logbook.

The name on the logbook has nothing whatsoever to do with ownership anyway.

This is very unusual behaviour for him.
We live a good life. I take the girls out once a week so he can have a chilled night with the eldest - resulted in a better relationship between dad and son. I go out once a week with friends and so does he. Shared weekends with the children when they were younger.
Something is stressing him out but if he won't talk what can I do. I'm not a mind reader.
I laid out all of what will happen if I have to change roles and take a pay cut - we will manage is what he said - while looking panicked though his teeth.
I haven't told him my mum has twisted my dad's arm up his back to go car shopping this weekend and he will be donating his old one to me for free, once he's collected his new one. As wanted to see if he will talk over weekend when children are out.
The family holiday is for me and the children he can't get the AL off for it - he did ask.
As for the money I put into buying it I wrote that off when I put it in as I saw it as a family investment. Didn't even think that I owned x% of it. He has proof of purchase of the car.

Each post you make suggests more and more that he's got into debt somehow. The easy guess is gambling but could be many things really.

That's what I meant - log book in not proof of ownership

I hate to say but sounds like he needs a cash lump sum and fast - I would be digging a little deeper

It's fantastic that your parents are helping you out of this mess!
At least now you have been warned to keep a very beady eye going forward. Good luck to you!

I would also tally up what you've put into the car - deposit, major repairs - and say of course if/when it's sold that amount is due back to you. Not all the money is his.
What a selfish prat.

You would be absolutely mad not to ask for a percentage of the proceeds on the basis that you paid in to buy it. Put it towards your payments to your parents, whatever, just don’t let him keep it. Legally it sounds like a trust of some sort, even if his name is on the log book you’ve likely got an equitable interest.

I also agree that OP's mum is a legend. I suspect Mum's opinion of OP's partner is rather less complimentary!

@itsmeits - don't put him on the insurance, unless it reduces your premium. And, even if it does reduce your premium, don't tell him!

If he's so particular about the current car being "his" car, your new car will be "your" car alone. Give him the same treatment he's giving you.

I too would be asking for a refund of the repairs bills you've paid for. Seeing as it's "his" car, you must have just "loaned" him the money to pay for the upkeep.

I love the idea of saving up for a house deposit and moving out on him!

He needs access to cash quickly...He owes someone and is scared I'd say.

It sounds like he's got himself into some kind of financial issue and he needs money fast. Going forward, you obviously can't rely on him to put the needs of your family first so once you've got your new car from your parents (thank goodness they can help you out) you need to completely separate everything financially from him. He may fall but at least then he can't drag you with him.

I would want to get to the bottom of this immediately - what is he scared of?

gambling or drugs. I would talk about his gambling debts that he has to pay off and see what kind of reaction I got. Kind of make an assumption of what it is for and let him correct me...

Tell him you're just borrowing your dad's old car for now so he can't try and sell that from under you either.

I can't imagine my husband trying to sell my route to work and put the family finances at risk unless he had a big gambling or drug debt - really hope this isn't the case!

Keep being strong.

The legend that is my Mum has told me to set up a monthly SO to her for 'car repayments' and she will hold it for me for when I need it, so it's separate from other savings. The car will be remaining in my dad's name I will be using it and responsible for all repairs, MOT, tax going forward.

I agree the sudden need for cash is unnerving and playing on my head. Hopefully I can get to the bottom of it.

I have done quotes on the car for insurance I'm going to add my dad on to bring the premium down - as I need to have business insurance to claim back mileage - premium is high as I haven't built up any no claims and license is less than 2 years old.

As others have said it's hugely suspicious he needs money in such a short time frame ( as you close with his family? Would he have asked them for a loan before getting to this point? )

Is his credit card currently maxed out?
Any proof he's applied for others and been rejected?
Are pay day loans still a thing? Could he be using them

It's quite an extreme and inefficient way to get cash quickly

I would assume gambling, other options are another woman ( could he be planning to move out / pay for something for her ? )

Am I interpreting that right, your mother is giving you a car and then helping you set up a savings account if you decide you want to get away from this poor excuse of a man? your mom is fantastic.

real men don’t sabotage the mother of their children. Just the opposite, they recognize that being a mother comes with an economic cost and do everything they can to make up for that.

I can see his credit report nothing showing on there, just his CC and he has room to spend on it. At least I know he hasn't pulled cash out on that.

As he went though a spate of changing banks - for different perks a few years ago and his mum transferred money to the wrong one, she sends it to me as she doesn't know which Mr itsmeits is the correct one. She only has one payee details for me 😅 so knows it won't get lost. If he had borrowed off her I'd know. Not to mention she'd be on the phone to make sure we needed to borrow it and an itemised itinerary of every penny spent and the interest repayment plan she would be charging.

We both grew up in families with different attitudes to money. Very different attitudes.

Be careful with the insurance OP. You can normally only have the V5 in one person's name and the insurance in another if you're husband and wife (or that's how it used to be at least).

It may be that your Dad has to have the insurance in his name, if it's his name on the V5 with you being named driver.

If this is the case, be aware that you won't build up a no claims in your name as a named driver.

Your mum is brilliant! She "sees" him doesn't she? Have they said anything about this, I mean do they also think he's up to no good? Shrugging your shoulders and assuming your wife had saved enough for a car is a bit of a reach when it could cost you your job. He's not thought this through has he?

@ElaborateCushion Thank you I wasn't aware of this I will look into it and have a chat with my dad.
The idea is to build up some no claims as I was only added as a named driver on current policy.

If you will be the main driver of this new car the insurance needs to be in your name.
I’ve had insurance in my name and the V5 in my dads name in the last few years as we didn’t want to add another owner onto the car.

What a shit he is! I can't wait for the day he asks for a lift somewhere in it, I think I'd be shoving the gearstick somewhere the sun don't shine!

Insurance wise you need to be listed as the main driver with your dad as extra otherwise it's fronting (and illegal).

It doesn't matter whose name is on the logbook as long as you have permission to drive it - otherwise car rentals and work vans wouldn't exist.

Your mum sees through this man so I suspect his absolute selfish shittiness is not a sudden and new thing OP, you've just been utterly blind to it all. Continue to open your eyes and start planning an exit. This man is NOT a family man.