Selling the car I use for work.

[itsmeits]

Just that really. Partner has decided he wants to sell the car as things are tight - he has a company Van to do his job and has had permission granted to use it for drop of pick ups at before and after school clubs, incase I can't make it. We work for the same company different sectors.
If he sells the car I can't work! Can't get to my pat h to do my job. Money will be even tighter. I have offered to buy the car from him and reduce what he puts in the bill account to free up some money for him each month. Nope he needs the money now. What the hell am I going to do?!
I have just paid out for some big expenditures
(including on the f*ing car £600, which i didn't mind as I use it mostly) and reduced my savings massively I don't have the funds to get a car - definitely not this side of Xmas.
He thinks all the money of sale of the car will be his. I pointed out I've spent over £1500 on it in repairs (over the last 2 years I have used it) to keep it running and the £1000 towards the cost of buying it.
I know we won't get what we paid for it back it. It has been 5 years since we got it and it wasn't new then.
AIBU

• his name is on the log book it's his car his money

YANBU

• some proceeds should go to me towards being able to get a new car and keep my job.

Whatever you do, don't lose your job. It is the one thing that will keep you afloat through whatever he is up to, whether that is gambling or leaving or purely coercive control. Don't let him isolate you.

If you are able to recoup the holiday money and get a bank loan or family loan to fund a car then do it.

Could you get lifts in and use a bank car from work temporarily? Tell your boss what is going on. They may have contingencies for this kind of thing. It is also good to not keep something like this secret at the time. It is harder to explain later, and less likely to be believed.

There is really very little here worth more than your ability to keep earning, keep in the workforce, and keep being seen.

Assuming he would refuse to give you the value of your repairs input from the sale price could you recoup this by not making the shared part of bill payments up to the value?

You have explained clearly why you need a car for work. Either you have a car or lose your job, there's no third option.
If he goes ahead and sells the car without your agreement, you need to recognise that he is knowingly sabotaging your personal and joint finances and also your working life, in which case this is not a proper partnership and it needs to end.
There will be financial fallout from separating, but goodness knows what he will do next if you stay.
I'm sorry, it's a horrible situation.

So when you ask how he expects you to work what's his reply?

I would tell him you’ve handed your notice in as you will no longer be able to work. Right out a list of all the expenses you will no longer be able to cover and give this to him.

sit back and wait fir the penny to drop.

That’s because it could be stolen.

If i have to hand in my resignation it will be sent to my head of service and his.
Only repairs have vans the rest of the workforce use our own cars (good money back on mileage)
His reasoning for getting rid of car is it's costing to much. How I'm the stupid tit that's paid for repairs it as I'm using it. I have no issue with this. Costing yes, him no 🤔
Going to list out all he will be liable for if I have to give up my job.
I have applied today for 2 other roles less pay but site based not patch based so I can do it without a car

So what has he said about the impact on your job???

Do you enjoy your work? Seems ridiculous to change jobs for less money if u enjoy your current role. He sounds very controlling. I couldn’t live that level of pettiness & control. However, practically, you can afford to run a car, so either get a loan to buy the car off him or go get another car on finance & hand him the keys to “his” tell him to shove it up his arse sell it on. I’d definitely be taking control back.

Buy a very cheap car. Insure yourself on it. Use a credit card or loan if you have to.

Make plans for a future without him.

Make sure he's contributing fully to everything. Ie school trips and family holidays.

He's no partner. It's very controlling. And I'd be wondering where all his money is going.

I love my job, roles on the team I am on don't come up often, my predecessor had been in it 10+ years. Newest team member before me has been on it 5 years. 5 rounds if interviews to get it.
I spoken to my mum and dad they are willing to help me out with a car and let me pay them back on the month. Save me having to finance or pay interest, also means I won't be skinting myself on repayments.

That's great.

Now stop subbing him.

And don't insure him on it. He can use the money he's raised from the car sale (that you spent thousands on) for an uber.

That sounds a much better idea than applying for lower paid roles or having to give up work altogether.

Your partner is another issue. Sounds very controlling and basically not in a partnership at all. Seriously think you should leave him. I would if it was me.

Would you still need to take 1.5+hr public transport to do those jobs? Is that each way? How much per year will that set you back?
Presumably he would then be doing all the school runs, shopping and cooking, while you're sitting on a bus or at a bus stop.

Ahh, just read your update.
So pleased your parents can and will help.

That's so great your parents are going to help. I hope you manage to get away from this guy and find a proper partner.

Thank goodness you've got fab parents.

Same can't be said of your partner though. I wouldn't be able to forgive him for this.

I'm incredulous at this. Is he in some sort of trouble? What did he say to you about how you were going to do your job? If your parents bankroll a car, make damned sure he has no access to it or he'll flog that too. What an arsehole. I wouldn't want a relationship with such a selfish dick.

Your parents' behaviour is that of people who love you and want the best for you. It's literally the opposite of your partners. You seem very focused on the practicalities of how to deal with the car situation and not what this says about your relationship. I imagine this behaviour from him is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sorry you're in such an awful relationship with such a selfish man. I'd be thinking about getting out. He's shown you how little he respects and cares about you.

I've just come to this thread. Please, please, please do not look for ways of accommodating him. Know your worth. What previous posters have said seems true. He doesn't like this financial independence of yours. He's looking at ways of diminishing you so that you will become more reliant on him. Luckily you have supportive parents. I agree with @Cornflakes44. You seem too focused on adjusting to the situation rather than pushing back. Whatever the reasons (something going on at work, hidden debts, controlling you), do not let him have the upper hand. Something smells fishy here. How long have you been together and are the kids both of yours? The best thing a woman can do for herself and her kids is financial independence. Without it, you are trapped forever, whether it is through a controlling partner or the system. Your job sounds fantastic and you worked damn hard to get it, good luck. xx

Make sure you make it clear that if he sells the car as you paid £600 out for repairs you'll need that back out of what he gets for it straight away so you can buy a new cheap run around.

Hope your parents can help you out 🙏then think about your relationship. Good luck

The V5 (log book) does not prove ownership, the receipt does. Who bought the car? Do you have anything in your name regarding the purchase?

What sorts of man sells the car his partner uses to drive to work, a car that she has contributed towards and presumably sits back and sees her parents step up and loan her money so she can get to work to earn money to support her family.

If I were you OP, I'd reevaluate your relationship with him and in the meantime do nothing more for him - no laundry, no errands, no buying him treats - nothing.

He sounds like a right pr!ck

This is awful @itsmeits You read about some terrible partners on here and yours is definitely a contender for top 10 worst.
Does he understand that you could be unemployed if you don't have a car?

I hope you can get a decent car with the help from your mum and dad (what must they think of him?) and as pp said, don't put him on the insurance or help him out in any way.
When it's sorted out, if I was you I'd have a good think about the relationship.
Good luck x