Selling the car I use for work.

[itsmeits]

Just that really. Partner has decided he wants to sell the car as things are tight - he has a company Van to do his job and has had permission granted to use it for drop of pick ups at before and after school clubs, incase I can't make it. We work for the same company different sectors.
If he sells the car I can't work! Can't get to my pat h to do my job. Money will be even tighter. I have offered to buy the car from him and reduce what he puts in the bill account to free up some money for him each month. Nope he needs the money now. What the hell am I going to do?!
I have just paid out for some big expenditures
(including on the f*ing car £600, which i didn't mind as I use it mostly) and reduced my savings massively I don't have the funds to get a car - definitely not this side of Xmas.
He thinks all the money of sale of the car will be his. I pointed out I've spent over £1500 on it in repairs (over the last 2 years I have used it) to keep it running and the £1000 towards the cost of buying it.
I know we won't get what we paid for it back it. It has been 5 years since we got it and it wasn't new then.
AIBU

• his name is on the log book it's his car his money

YANBU

• some proceeds should go to me towards being able to get a new car and keep my job.

If he sells, then he needs to give you the money back that you originally paid into it and the money you've spent on repairs.
I'd use that to get a cheap runaround. Save for something better and save for yourself so you have an emergency stash. If you book holidays etc, then he pays his share, no more spending on anything that is a treat or extra for him.
I'd also be very careful about any other signs that he is being financially controlling.

You're not actually a couple are you? Even if you chose to have separate finances he's not thinking as half a couple.

I'd be separating just with us attitude alone. He's only thinking of himself. Also he sounds thick as anything.

my ex partner did this to me! He also frequently prior to this used to take the keys away from me because it was “his car” so I couldn’t get anywhere if we argued. He was controlling and manipulative please leave him

I'd also wonder if he is not happy that you have upped your hours, is he expected to help more round the house now? Perhaps it suits him to have you at home and removing the car is a way of controlling you. I'd be utterly livid in your place.

Er No.... V5 isn't ownership but insurance has nothing to do with it, I could take a policy on your car in 2 minutes obviously that doesn't mean it's mine!!!

Whoever paid for the car is the owner, proof of ownership is a recipient from a dealership/private sale backed up with bank statements or loan agreements depending on how you paid for the car.

Either way OP you need a way out but DO NOT give up work. Take out a small loan/ zero percent credit card for the cheapest car possible like a Citroen C1/toyota aygo for around £2k and keep working, don't give up your only escape.

Then work out why he needs money so desperately and if you want to stay in the relationship or not. That's a decision for you down the line

Good luck! 🤞🏻

I think I'd be separating.
This is not a partnership.

I've only read some of your posts and the whole thing is batshit.

Of course you don't need to sell your car to fund his debts.

TBH it's scary you even need to ask here because the whole thing is so crazy it's laughable (and sorry, I know you're very upset.)

If you paid for the car you are the owner.
If he paid and has the invoices/ receipts, it is legally his.

As PP says if he sells it, you can get a very cheap run around and a small loan for that.

But if it were me and he sold the car against my wishes, that would be the end of the relationship.

You need to explain that to him.

But as he seems so stupid, why stay with him anyway?

You need to put your foot down and say no. Why is he so desperate for quick cash? It doesn’t sound like he is thinking straight or of the long term consequences of not having a car.

Dp is not making sense and unless he normally insists on making decisions that are clearly against the family’s interests, something is wrong. He needs money urgently. I think you need to confront him as calmly as you can manage and insist that he tells you the truth. Hopefully you can sort it out.

Sounds like he doesn't recognise or value you at all.
Doesn't see that you need a car to get to work and pick up the kids.
Doesn't see your wage going into the bills etc.

I would assume he is planning on separating with you, he's sorted because he'll carry on working and picking up the kids in his work van when it's his turn for contact.

Doesn't care if you are totally screwed (no car and no job) because in his head he's already left you.

Well, I guess he's paying 100% of the bills from now on.

If you're not planning to keep your job and separate, I'd just stay at home all day occasionally pretending I'd been looking for jobs and couldn't find one.

He’s not your partner. Bill splitting in a partnership just gives me the massive ick 🤮 You’re basically roommates who shag. Ditch your roommate and find a real man who treats you properly.

I’d be very suspicious about why he needs a lump sum of money so urgently and wtf has he been spending his money on if you’re the one saving up and buying things for the family?

Is he gambling? Online gambling is a serious problem for many families.

You need to find out why he’s so crap with money, otherwise your relationship is doomed. You don’t want to spend the next 20yrs bailing him out.

Don’t agree to selling the car and start playing hardball. Tell him unless he comes clean about where his moneys going, it’s not just your job that you’ll be losing!

Is he in some sort of debt and how did he accrue it. If he was paying 80% of the bills at some point and now paying 50%, he should be better off not worse off. Or did he get into debts at the time you were working less as this makes no sense.
If he sells the car then he needs to give you back what you put in. It’s crazy that he does not even want to sell the car to you, like what’s going on, like he’s trying to sabotage your job for some reason.
please don’t leave your job for this man, he’s up to no good. Make sure you get back what you put in and then get a cheap run around car till you can afford something better. Also if you can get your money back on the holiday, I’ll be cancelling it now as well

How does he think you're going to get to work?

Not really the point of the thread but this is why we should invest in social housing rather than having to pay large rents via UC to private landlords.

OP he is being a dick. I’d have a good look round to see what you can afford. Consider financing its not ideal but it can be cost effective. My car cost £10k taken out as a bank bank loan over 5 years. I repaid it in under 3 helped a lot by the car being really solid and not needing £1k in repairs every year just normal servicing / mot.

Definitely a red flag for his behaviour. Sound like he’s trying to control you.

Worth trying to talk him out of selling the car & asking why he needs a lump sum of cash now. If he insists on selling try get back a share for the repairs you paid. (If he bought for £7.5K and you’ve paid £2.5K for repairs then total spend is £10K, 25% you and 75% him - split sale money the same way).addiction

Sounds like you are sensible with money so if he sells get a low or zero percentage finance for a cheap car,

Also check he’s been paying bills and rent. Seems like he perhaps had a gambling problem or he’s planning to leave you and being selfish.

I’m sorry. Good luck figuring this out.

He is not your partner. The very definition of it. He is actively working against you, not considering you, not listening to you. Get out of there immediately. What a horrible man. Never look back.

I don't understand what his solution is. Once he says he needs to sell the car and you point out you can't do your job without the car. Then how does the conversation continue? Is he suggesting you to quit your job, asking you to buy a new car, offering to take you to work? Like. That's can't be the end of the discussion

Doesn’t sound like much of a partner at all, why would he do that when he k owes your income relies on the car what a completely selfish prick. Sorry OP but I’d have to consider if I really wanted to spend or waste any more of my life on this utter twunt!!!

It is HIS car, and he is selling it because HE needs the money.

OP says it isn’t her car, hence the dilemma as it will leave her up a well known creek without a paddle

This isn't a partnership. he obviously sees the car as his.

Is he the father of your DC OP? He's treating the mother of his Dc like this?

Why cant you work out a route znd use public transport if you buy weeklybor monthly tickers it actually works out cheaper shop online walk to n from school none of this is difficult for you to do it just takes you to plan ahead maybe get up hzlf hour earlier in the morning honestly it not difficult from someone who doesn't drive due to medical reasons i do find these conversations hilarious

This is financial abuse. He's literally trying to remove your means of supporting yourself, and appropriate the funds you've paid into the car yourself.