Or is my husband - doesn't want sex unless stop cosleeping with DC

[dhnosex]

DC is just under 3. Cosleeps with us for about half a year now.
I love the cosleeping - it leads to more sleep for me and in all honesty I love waking up to the tiny sleepy face or the little hugs I get in the middle of the night, DH not so much - he occasionally gets woken up by DC turning over in the night and DH believes a bed should just be for parents.
We have a large and comfortable sofa (for sex or to sleep in) and a spare bedroom (which, in fairness is full of clutter and used as a storage room but has a bed).
DH has declared that he is uncomfortable having sex when a toddler is in our bed. Understandable. To my suggestion that there are other places to have sex he's said he just likes it in a bed, after a cuddle rather than a scheduled walk to the second bedroom or on the sofa.
DC sleeps through the night when we cosleep but wakes up every couple of hours if we sleep apart. Inevitably I'm the one that has to resettle DC if they wake up because DH absolutely can't (DC will not go back to sleep, just gets more agitated). If we were to end cosleeping I'd just end up marching back and forth between our room and DC's all night, or camping in DC's room.
So... who is being unreasonable? Him for wanting DC out of our bed and threatening no sex until I do or me for not wanting to kick DC out? What solutions do I have? I do want sex, in theory could easily live without it but it's not great for a marriage to be sexless.

I mean it’s pretty normal to have sex in a bed very vanilla so not exactly a terrible demand.

My man’s not tall enough to do kitchen work top sex. Sadly 🤣

Yes, some parents can't wait to fuck their tiny babies out of their bedroom to sleep all on their own. That didn't work for us. I always worked FT and it was lovely to watch their little sleeping faces in the night, and be there first thing when they started waking sleepy talked rubbish - so cute! They never had to cry for attention when they woke up because I was there. I'm so glad I had that experience.

Having sex whilst a child over 6 months old is present is classed as abuse, sexual abuse. And it's classed as sexual abuse for very good reasons.

If you cannot understand then you are not safe to be around children.

He refuses to - it's the marital bed or not at all!! Selfish prick.

But sex in the kitchen is ‘alternative’. In bed it’s pretty normal

Mine is 😂💁🏻‍♀️

But I’d still rather not be getting booted in the back off an 8 year old all night, thank you kindly!

I don’t even like dh trying to cuddle as I’m trying to sleep let alone little octopuses in my bed lol

Yeah it is. I just think if we’re going to start telling men where they can and can’t have sex, we should expect to be called hypocrites.

They too are allowed preferences!

Complete and utter rubbish. I've never met an 11 year old who wanted to sleep with their parents!! Mine had all moved out before they started school.

Can you just for a second acknowledge there’s a life outside your house.

I do know an 11 year old that is anxiously attached to his mother and won’t leave her bed. My cousins son. I know an 8 year old who won’t sleep alone, he lives in my house. I knew a 12 year old still doing it, my brother. Started after my parents separation and it took him til secondary to get out of it.

Great, your kids moved. I wouldn’t have put them there to begin with, but good for you. Some people’s children - don’t.

She does if she wants a decent night's sleep, and the sex god won't deign to settle his child!!

Your views were hugely objectionable and much more extreme than most others criticising what they don't understand!

I wouldn't be comfortable having sex with a 3 year old in the room, and never have done.

My grandparents reared 11 children in a 2 bed house. Eight of them were their own, the other three cousins whose mother had died. I wonder how they managed...

I think your Dh is being unreasonable. He won’t/cant get up with or settle the kids in the night, and won’t have sex in another room despite that being an option. He sounds very controlling. Enjoy sleeping with your child - plenty of studies show that co-sleeping is good for kids. Co-sleeping is the norm in many societies. Call his bluff with the sex. You’ve offered a viable alternative - if he doesn’t want that, it’s on him, not you.

We cosleeper for years and years. I think my DD was 6 when she finally stayed in her own room. She was just attached to me and wanted to be close. Husband slept in the spare room and we would have conjugal visits in there or the shower or if she was out or whatever. Was never a big deal. I’d hate to only be able to have sex at 8 pm flat on my back in the “marital bed”. DD was small for such a short time, now she lives with a flatmate an hours drive away and I wish we could sleep close again.

@dhnosex he is. 1000%!! He's being a selfish arse tbh.

What is he going to do when your DC is a teenager and they seem to be fucking everywhere in the house at the same time and the hearing of a bat???

Hard disagree with putting the child in its room!! Do it when you are ready!

My kids are all adults but I will never forget the desperation of sleep deprivation where you will do just about anything to get some sleep! I think that's more important than where you have sex!

Jesus, that's a reach!! DD2 slept beside me in her cotbed until she was 4. She and her elder sister had to share, and that was the point where they weren't going to be waking each other. DS slept in bed with me until he was 4, coming 5, and I would do it all again. He breastfed until he was nearly 2 and we just continued on. He wasn't as good as sleeper as the elder two and I did not have the energy to be up several times a night, rear three children and work FT. I would do the same again.

Mine went to nursery from the ages of 5 months, 7 months and 10 months. None of them was in nappies, all of them could use cutlery and none of them were transported in buggies. Although I did keep DS in a buggy for longer than the other two as he was a menace and it kept him safe in one place!!!

Co-sleeping made my three very safe and secure, and we are all still very close now that they are adults. People are very ill-informed!

You did the right thing! Sleep matters!!

But not her DH's sleep, since he's now not getting any.

And it’s not just the sex. He wants ti sleep in his bed, with his wife, with nobody else there. I don’t think that’s a big ask.

Bloody well said! I nearly stood up to applaud you there!

It apparently is, he belongs in the shed. With a blanket, possibly. Depends how he behaves.

That's so much bullshit.

ewwww imagine having sex next to a child. that is wrong im sorry