ExH brought his dog in my house without permission

[CfCfCftooMuch]

ExH just dropped off his dog in my house. For me to look after, even though i had said no to looking after him. The dc let Exh and dog in when i was out. They love that dog and of course had no knowledge of anything.

ExH is gone now for two weeks. Abroad. He just walked out and took off to the airport, leaving dog behind.

I've got two dc and two cats and work long hours. The cats have never spent a night/day alone in the house with this dog. He is kind and mellow, but a large breed. Size of a wolf.
I've contacted a dog shelter and might have to go to go through rspca.

Posting to tell someone. This is just one of many many ways he always finds a way to use me or control my life. I didn't want any of this. And now im left here calling shelters (which im asked to pay for), calling womens aid, calling rspca, figuring out how to do this without upsetting the dc, texting exH to sort out care if he doesn't want me to take this further, posting here for support, trying to figure out tomorrow with sorting out the kids, my work, other stuff, business meeting and my actual day job. Honestly?! Wtf!!!

how can she with two cats and working long days?

Put it back in his house, open the three days worth of food and leave loads of water for it.
Text him that that's what you've done.

Then he has a couple of days to sort something out.

The dog will destroy his house in the meantime.

You could always report it to the RSPCA of he hasn't sorted anything in a couple of days.

I’d be tempted to take the dog back to his place and just go in to feed it, and let it shit everywhere, but that’s not fair on the dog. I’d there a Facebook group local to you who could help? Or drop it off at the vets and say you found it.

@AllYearsAround that would be unbelievably cruel to the dog

@Lake9mo not good advice. 'Firm words' and 'just this once' cut no ice with an abusive ex partner.

The not thing that works is swiftly dealing with this problem in the most humane way possible that involves next to no communication with the ex

Drop at his vets. Or ANY vet if he doesn't have a vet. ' this is not my dog, I cannot care for it, I'm sorry to leave this with you' and then out you walk. A brief message to him saying that's what you have done and there you go - you've enforced a hard boundary with a hard action

*the only thing

Cats in separate rooms and/or allowed out all day. Dog to stay in garden all day and/or cheap dog walker found.

Not unbelievably cruel - it has food, water and shelter. The owner has time to sort something out for it.

Dumping your dog to go on holiday is unbelievably cruel.

I would do this too. It's his problem to solve.

What the fuck???

For fucks sake, what's wrong with the posters on here?

This is a living animal that feels pain for fucks sake.

I hadn't read the part of OP was skint, in that case, she explains to the kids she can't cope with the dog, she lets them say goodbye and explains why she's doing this and drop the dog off to shelter, done.

@Lake9mo just stop. You're speaking like someone who rolls over like a hearth rug to coercive men and - for the pleasure of that / you also pay for it!

With such a feckless owner , I very much doubt if this poor dog has even been vaccinated much less been chipped and kennel cough nasal spray vaccine that many kennels insist upon.

Also- they will likely want paying up front and won't be cheap.

What a completely selfish inconsiderate thing to do.

Sadly huskies are not an 'easy' dog.

@CfCfCftooMuch You can't shut the dog up in his house all alone, it will be so cruel.

A rescue centre or RSPCA are the least you can do, but the ownership signing over as it isn't your dog will probably make it hard if it isn't microchipped to you.

I could whf if i didn't have a few big meetings tomorrow. Plus my own side hustle apt first thing.
This is not the first time he's done this, but its only been a day or two before and obviously he doesn't care about consent. I had no idea he was going to do this today though.

Im struggling as it is. He is financially and emotionally manipulative and abusive. Trying to gaslight me by whatsapp as we speak. I shouldve know this was coming since he uncharacteristically gave money towards the kids shoes on saturday, which he never does. Doesn't pay anything.
He always tries to make my life as difficult as possible. Few months ago i went away with the kids and asked him to feed my cats. His previous family pets of 10 years. He said no. So i paid for someone to do it. And now he just drops this dog off that was never my pet. A high maintenance one.

Oh, if you have his keys, maybe there will be a credit card around? Or similar so you can book a kennel online?

It’s illegal for her to enter his house without permission

Tell him the dog will be returned to his house tomorrow before work. He has until you finish work to find and pay for a pet sitter before you hand the dog over to the RSPCA and report him for being a negligent dog owner

And no sane person dumps a dog with open cans of food alone in a house, or lets it trot out the door or tries to sell it ...

The best solution is the most obvious one - vets. First thing in the morning. Hugely apologetic of course but that's all you offer

Yes you're right - guilty of that in my life and suffering at the moment. But thought the dog's welfare and also the kids wanting the dog to stay should be considered.

I imagine the dog would be happier in its own house than in a cage at the pound.

The kids can go in then.

Does he know anyone who he might get to take the dog off you tomorrow OP, if you told him you were going to abandon it? He doesn't need any details about how you plan to do this- vet, dog warden etc.

I don't think vets run a service like that?

He clearly isn't a caring or responsible pet owner.

RSPCA might be your best bet, but a Husky isn't a sort of dog that most people want.
They have high needs and are very neurotic. Basically a pack dog unsuited to living alone.
Your Ex sounds like a prize tosser to be honest.

What a nightmare. What an arse he is!

DC need to know that he isn’t allowed in the house and nor is the dog. They must see that this isn’t the right solution for this dog and the stress it’s causing their mum! Is there any way this behaviour can be challenged legally? Argualby he has left OP in a really difficult situation as she can’t afford proper care for the dog and her cats while dog is there; isn’t financial abuse actually a crime now so this could be a police matter?
@CfCfCftooMuch try www.rightsofwomen.org.Uk they may have some advice for you

For the billionth time, shelters don't just take any random dog that anyone wants to give them, they have an intake procedure which involves signing over legal ownership - something OP CANNOT DO since she is not the dog's legal owner.

It sucks for the dog but leaving it at the ex's house and popping in to feed it is probably the best option - let's be real, there isn't a solution that doesn't suck for the dog, and at least it will be in a familiar place. It'll shit everywhere and trash the place but that's the ex's problem.