ExH brought his dog in my house without permission

[CfCfCftooMuch]

ExH just dropped off his dog in my house. For me to look after, even though i had said no to looking after him. The dc let Exh and dog in when i was out. They love that dog and of course had no knowledge of anything.

ExH is gone now for two weeks. Abroad. He just walked out and took off to the airport, leaving dog behind.

I've got two dc and two cats and work long hours. The cats have never spent a night/day alone in the house with this dog. He is kind and mellow, but a large breed. Size of a wolf.
I've contacted a dog shelter and might have to go to go through rspca.

Posting to tell someone. This is just one of many many ways he always finds a way to use me or control my life. I didn't want any of this. And now im left here calling shelters (which im asked to pay for), calling womens aid, calling rspca, figuring out how to do this without upsetting the dc, texting exH to sort out care if he doesn't want me to take this further, posting here for support, trying to figure out tomorrow with sorting out the kids, my work, other stuff, business meeting and my actual day job. Honestly?! Wtf!!!

You have a duty of care to your cats and the dog deserves much better. I would drop it off at the vets and say I found it in the street. You have to create these boundaries.

This isn't a stray dog. A vet will check for a chip. Then ring the exH and he will ring OP.

@CfCfCftooMuch Ring all the boarding kennels in the area, and the dog sitting businesses. One of them will have a space as this is off season, but at short notice, it is likely to be pricey. This is him being a tightwad pisstaker, not a situation for any of the charities that support. He needs to pay through the bottom of his pocket to learn a lesson that you don't dump your dog like this.

Poor dog-so unfair
Boarding kennels usually need proof of vaccination before accepting a dog don’t they?
Do dog walkers need the same proof?
What an awful situation- I feel so sorry for this dog.
Your ex should re home the dog - he clearly doesn’t think much of his pet’s welfare

Do you have his credit card details? Vet details? You could try to work out getting it into a kennels. It may not be safe for yours cats.

I've got an idea. You could take the dog to the vet and say you've found this dog or get a friend to do it. They will scan his microchip and find your ex husbands details and contact him.

Tell him to make arrangements and pay for at a place that boards dogs or it's going to the RSPCA tomorrow, his choice. Dogs going tomorrow.

What an arse. You sound well rid of the ex.

they are not free boarding kennels for people having domestic disputes.

She's not "having a domestic dispute"! She's had an entirely unwanted dog dumped on her, and she can't look after it even if she did want it.

That's a good idea actually.

Alternatively take it to HIS vet; let them scan it and contact him. Refuse to answer the phone/texts. In fact, block him on everything for his holiday period.

I would get a friend to take it to a vet and say they found it in the street. They will contact him. If he tells them to contact you say that you had to let it out as you told him you couldn’t look after it.

As a dog owner, this seems the best solution, it will cost a few hundred quid, but its the most humane thing to do, and you will have to settle the bill, and chase the money off him.

The money might persuade him to stop acting like a selfish absolute prick in the future.

I'd be really tempted to just let it out of the house to roam around, but that's not fair to the dog (or the wildlife it might kill). I'd take it to a vet, saying you found it wandering and assume they will check the microchip and call your ex. It will be up to him to sort something out then.

OP has been abundantly clear that her ex will not pay her anything. If she had the sort of ex who was going to take financial responsibility for his pet instead of abandon it, she'd not be in this position in the first place.

He sounds like a sadist, trying to put the OP in a situation where she feels compelled to be cruel at second hand. He's pitting two loving creatures against each other.

You can't take compassionate leave or a day off sick, can you, OP? What area are you in? Maybe some Mumsnetters could help you call round different kennels and so on?

I would take it to his own vet and not give any of your own details. 'Here's a dog, it isn't mine, it has been dumped on me and I cannot care for it' and then just walk out. They can hardly rugby tackle you to the ground and force you to stay

Not sure what else you can do tbh that doesn't involve taking up an awful lot of your time and energy so you just need a quick solution - which obviously then involves hassle for the vets etc but that's a him problem and it's nothing to do with you

Did you both miss the bit where she said she’s skint and using up bits in the freezer? I’m sure that means she doesn’t have a spare few hundred quid. I’m guessing for some people that’s unimaginable and they’d just put it on a credit card if necessary. Not everyone is able to do that though.

If you ask @MNHQ to move thread to the dog house, someone likely will come forward with practical help, @CfCfCftooMuch

@silentwallflower I'm sure you mean well, but are you seriously suggesting the 'skint' OP pays a few hundred quid for this problem she didn't ask for? I mean, come on

I’d have to take the dog to the vet to be pts
wtaf?!?
also
id be tempted to let it out to roam
what is wrong with ppl? why should the poor dog suffer because he has a shitty owner.
OP I'd hand him to a vet or dog warden and say you found as a stray.

Well the vet can keep it then, but i certainly wouldn’t be.

And it sounds like the OP can no way afford kennels. So options are either she shuts it up in his house 24 hours a day for two weeks and pops in once a day to feed it. Or it goes to the vets, a warden or a rescue??? Or she has it in her house home alone for 9 hours and hopes it doesn’t eat the cats?

Can you get food from his house? Dog food and in fact food for the kids?

This. Your ex is a total twat OP.

I appreciate OP is in a sticky situation but that doesn't mean a rescue is going to be willing or able to board a dog in for 2 weeks until OP's ex reappears - that's not what rescues exist to do, and they can't take it permanently to rehome either because OP doesn't have the legal right to relinquish ownership because she doesn't own it. If a dog is abandoned the correct legal route to follow is to contact the local authority dog warden, but they may not agree this dog counts as abandoned since it's not actually on the streets and its owner is known.

Oh what a terrible situation - terrible of him pushing boundaries like that but also your children letting the dog in (without you knowing). I think you either keep the dog until exH returns especially as you say your kids love the dog, or you put the dog in kennels until exH returns but with the real possibility of not getting any money back. If the kids are bonded to the dog, I would allow the dog to stay this one time but VERY firm words being had with exH and kids. Also, the dog may know your kids' smells so he might be most comfortable with them and being put in vets/kennels could be distressing for him.

Take the kids to his house to collect some stuff- food and dog stuff.

Stay there with the kids every other night, for the dog and the kids.