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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

ExH brought his dog in my house without permission

432 replies

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:08

ExH just dropped off his dog in my house. For me to look after, even though i had said no to looking after him. The dc let Exh and dog in when i was out. They love that dog and of course had no knowledge of anything.

ExH is gone now for two weeks. Abroad. He just walked out and took off to the airport, leaving dog behind.

I've got two dc and two cats and work long hours. The cats have never spent a night/day alone in the house with this dog. He is kind and mellow, but a large breed. Size of a wolf.
I've contacted a dog shelter and might have to go to go through rspca.

Posting to tell someone. This is just one of many many ways he always finds a way to use me or control my life. I didn't want any of this. And now im left here calling shelters (which im asked to pay for), calling womens aid, calling rspca, figuring out how to do this without upsetting the dc, texting exH to sort out care if he doesn't want me to take this further, posting here for support, trying to figure out tomorrow with sorting out the kids, my work, other stuff, business meeting and my actual day job. Honestly?! Wtf!!!

OP posts:
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IKEAJesus · 05/11/2024 19:22

Michelle12A · 05/11/2024 19:17

isn’t that illegal if he doesn’t give you permission to enter?

Is she going to enter or just unlock the door and let the dog go in?

lasagnelle · 05/11/2024 19:22

Terrribletwos · 05/11/2024 19:20

Wonderful!

What?

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:22

He has no family. I will take the dog to his place for the day. Don't know what else to do. I have to go to work. I feel bad too, i like him, but he needs walks during the day i assume? Im gone for 9hrs every day!

OP posts:
lasagnelle · 05/11/2024 19:23

Is it one of those xl bullies? I'd get it put down if it is

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:24

Its a husky.

OP posts:
lasagnelle · 05/11/2024 19:25

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:24

Its a husky.

Oh god they shed fur EVERYWHERE

orchid81 · 05/11/2024 19:26

Poor dog

AllYearsAround · 05/11/2024 19:26

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:22

He has no family. I will take the dog to his place for the day. Don't know what else to do. I have to go to work. I feel bad too, i like him, but he needs walks during the day i assume? Im gone for 9hrs every day!

I don't think the dog warden will be able to get it from his house - you'll need to call them to collect from yours.

Willyoujustbequiet · 05/11/2024 19:27

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:24

Its a husky.

They need a lot of exercise daily. So unfair on the poor thing.

He's abusive to both women and animals it would appear.

BreadInCaptivity · 05/11/2024 19:27

Husky's need a hell of a lot of care as I understand it. Lots of high intensity walks.

They are breed as working dog afaik?

2024onwardsandup · 05/11/2024 19:28

Call a husky rescue and explain the awful
situarion - say you don’t want the go to the dog warden and you need an emergency foster.

they might have someone who can take him in. Huskies are full on dogs. Doubt he’s looking after it properly anyway.

poor dog! What an awful person he is

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/11/2024 19:33

If the kids are old enough to have keys to their dad's house, presumably they're old enough to look after their dad's dog for two weeks. At your house, obviously. The cats will cope.

UnhappyAndYouKnowIt · 05/11/2024 19:34

Yep. Huskies are also notorious escape artists. It's a shame that the dog got away while you were at work and was never seen again. I sure hope a breed specific rescue finds it and gets it a lovely new home.

BarrioQueen · 05/11/2024 19:35

Poor dog. If you can't look after him. Contact a kennels - but it will need to be up to date with its injections and vaccinations.

RedHelenB · 05/11/2024 19:35

Michelle12A · 05/11/2024 19:17

isn’t that illegal if he doesn’t give you permission to enter?

The dc can take the dog back then

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 05/11/2024 19:35

I would be very very careful that whoever you call to collect it will not put the dog down or rehome it if not collected.

The poor dog hasn't asked for this and your DC will truly hate you if their dog dies or disappears.

The county council / dog warden here rehome dogs if they not collected within 7 days.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 05/11/2024 19:37

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/11/2024 19:33

If the kids are old enough to have keys to their dad's house, presumably they're old enough to look after their dad's dog for two weeks. At your house, obviously. The cats will cope.

A husky has an insane prey drive. It's quite possible it will kill the cats.

IKEAJesus · 05/11/2024 19:37

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/11/2024 19:33

If the kids are old enough to have keys to their dad's house, presumably they're old enough to look after their dad's dog for two weeks. At your house, obviously. The cats will cope.

Why should someone else’s dog take priority over OP’s own pets?

lasagnelle · 05/11/2024 19:41

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/11/2024 19:33

If the kids are old enough to have keys to their dad's house, presumably they're old enough to look after their dad's dog for two weeks. At your house, obviously. The cats will cope.

Can the dc live there for two weeks or are they too young

Mary28 · 05/11/2024 19:41

Do you have his bank details? I'd be dropping the dog to the kennels with his bank details.
Or bringing him to a pound. And your ex can fuck the hell off.
Or drop him back to his house and ring the animal welfare.
I wouldn't give a shit, I'd be doing one of the above. And I love dogs.

Patienceinshortsupply · 05/11/2024 19:47

How old are your DC OP? Is one of them old enough to have the dog at his house?

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/11/2024 19:48

Don't hand the dog to a shelter - they won't take it if they know the situation, the dog isn't truly 'abandoned' as you know he is returning in two weeks, he'll just claim a misunderstanding and the shelter is at risk of legal action.

If you lie to the shelter, they'll be at risk of legal action as they'd either keep the dog 7 days (if its a pound and you claim to have found the dog) then rehome, or rehome straight away if you say the dog is yours and its an owner surrender... as it isn't your dog to do this with, it isn't their dog to rehome... so he could take them and you, to court.

As you know he is only away two weeks, he wouldn't be seen by a court to have truly abandoned the dog, he'll again, just claim a misunderstanding, so you can't sell or give the dog away.

If you put the dog in his house and the dog suffers as a result, you were the last adult with a duty of care/responsibility to the dog, you may also be liable for that (it is less likely but possible).

Your best bet is to pay to put the dog in kennels and recover that cost from him later.

May09Bump · 05/11/2024 19:49

2024onwardsandup · 05/11/2024 19:28

Call a husky rescue and explain the awful
situarion - say you don’t want the go to the dog warden and you need an emergency foster.

they might have someone who can take him in. Huskies are full on dogs. Doubt he’s looking after it properly anyway.

poor dog! What an awful person he is

This is a good idea and a great place to start.

diddl · 05/11/2024 19:50

and recover that cost from him later.

That's unlikely to happen isn't it?

If he was willing to pay the dog wouldn't be at Op's!

peachesarenom · 05/11/2024 19:51

Wow! That is really manipulative and shitty!!!