ExH brought his dog in my house without permission

[CfCfCftooMuch]

ExH just dropped off his dog in my house. For me to look after, even though i had said no to looking after him. The dc let Exh and dog in when i was out. They love that dog and of course had no knowledge of anything.

ExH is gone now for two weeks. Abroad. He just walked out and took off to the airport, leaving dog behind.

I've got two dc and two cats and work long hours. The cats have never spent a night/day alone in the house with this dog. He is kind and mellow, but a large breed. Size of a wolf.
I've contacted a dog shelter and might have to go to go through rspca.

Posting to tell someone. This is just one of many many ways he always finds a way to use me or control my life. I didn't want any of this. And now im left here calling shelters (which im asked to pay for), calling womens aid, calling rspca, figuring out how to do this without upsetting the dc, texting exH to sort out care if he doesn't want me to take this further, posting here for support, trying to figure out tomorrow with sorting out the kids, my work, other stuff, business meeting and my actual day job. Honestly?! Wtf!!!

Until your awful Ex is able to sort it out, I think it's a good idea. Your child can do food / water / walk in the morning before school & after school. Any damage or mess in his home is on him. The dog will need water every day, but if you run out of food, Ex will need to send you money in advance to buy more.

I would also send a text stating that he is never to try this again & that you will never be responsible for taking care of his dog when he travels, and save this somewhere as evidence. And I would still report him.

You could find and pay for it and send the ex the invoice? OP doesn't have the money.

Do you have any local Facebook groups op? I have found (free) dog sitters on Facebook before who have been people who like dogs but don’t want one full time. If you post a picture of it, you might get some people forthcoming. I know it will be a pain to check people out and make sure they are legit but maybe less of a pain than two weeks of looking after a dog.

Have only read four pages: has anyone suggested Borrow my Doggy?

https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/

Perhaps a good place to find temporary care for the poor dog, and minimal cost.

Yup. Keep the dog at his place. Feed it and give it water. If it drops several shits on his Persian carpet - all the better.

It won't ruin his holiday though because he literally doesn't care about anyone except himself...

What on earth made you think she might harm the dog? She’s already said she likes the dog and the kids love him. She hasn’t suggested anything “nasty” at all either 🙄

I would take every shit the dog does over the next fortnight and put it in your husbands house. When he returns say you fed the dog and gave it water but didn't do anything so there may be some mess to deal with on his return. He won't impose on you like that again.

If not the death of the dog then thinking he now owes the vets money will bother him

No more so than what he did as the homeowner did not give him permission to enter, a child cannot grant that permission.

All she is doing is returning his property. She doesn't even need to go inside, just open door, push dog in and tell him.

Her kids can go feed/water/walk the dog if they wish (given they must have been old enough to be trusted with a key).

Just call the dog warden and let him know -he can the deal with the dog warden. Explain to the kids that you cannot take in a dog when you are out at work got 9 hours a day.
Too bad if t gets put down - not your problem.

Update.. I havent found anyone to take the dog (rspca,kennels etc all refuse). The dc care very much for him and cried and worried about him all evening and whilst at school. Its not in me to be cruel. I also know exh would use anything i do against me in his twisted campaign in trying to paint me as a horrid person to the dc..which he does a lot whenever i reinforce my boundaries and try to live my life.

So dog is back at mine. Ive told my boss and colleagues about the situation (not hiding his bad behaviour anymore) and ive been given the permission to wfh when possible. They were all as appalled as most of you are, and luckily supportive. I will also log a some sort of animal welfare concern, type this whole thing out in black and white to my divorce lawyer and considering applying for a restraining order. I might be stuck with the dog for now, but i will make sure he will have no access to me and my good will ever again.

The post doesn’t say whether she can afford it or not and you are wrong in that payment at boarding kennels is generally on collection. As to why should she, do you think a “shelter” is an acceptable idea then?

The OP says Im really skint this month too! Scraping the freezer and cupboards for meals as to avoid shopping.
And also,
Kennels want payment upfront, which I don't have!

That’s very good of you. Any chance he’ll reimburse you for the food you’re obviously going to have to buy for the dog?

You are a good person OP. And he's a right shit to have landed this on you. Make sure you document it all and do not ever let him do this again!

Great idea, then report to the rspca, explaining that you explicitly told him you can't look after his dog, but he left it at yours when you were not home. Taking it to his home was the only option available to you, so now it's home alone for 2 weeks!

Please don’t call the dog warden, they are overrun with dogs and will only keep it 7 days before it is PTS. That’s not fair on the dog, him or your children. Put it in kennels and gets them to send him the bill.

Wow! Some of the comments on this thread are appalling! Shame on you all! Yes the exh is a shit for doing this to OP in the first place, but this is not the dogs fault! I’m glad you’re a kind, compassionate person OP and even though it’s caused you much stress, you’re putting your DC and this poor dog first. I hope you get a restraining order in place and make him realise he can’t manipulate you anymore! Wishing you all the best OP, stay strong!

And to @lasagnelle saying if the dog was an XL bully you’d have it put down, I don’t think I can actually type what I really think of you, as I’d probably get banned from Mumsnet! You’re a disgusting excuse of a human being. What a vile thing to say.

His problem! Up to him to talk to the dog warden. And if it gets put down that’s one less neglected dog and useless owner.

Utterly ridiculous to suggest that kennels will ‘send him the bill’. Obviously they will want payment upfront.

This is completely untrue. Ive used many kennels over the years and you always pay on collection not upfront.

This would P me the F off! What a controlling W your ex is?!?!

However, it’s not the poor dogs fault and I assume your kids love the dog?!

Are you kids old enough to take the dog for a walk before and after school? Do you have a shed or crate you can put the dog in to keep your cats safe? I get the dog won’t like it, but needs must and it’s better than a dog shelter.

Once wanky ex has returned and hopefully taken the dog home report him to the RSPCA for neglect.

You really need to talk to the DC honestly and openly - explain you cannot do this again as you don't have money or food and that they must not open the door to ex in future.

I think I'd have advertised and sold the dog (ands made sure I 'lost' the address etc). That would have stopped the Ex doing this again. 😉