ExH brought his dog in my house without permission

[CfCfCftooMuch]

ExH just dropped off his dog in my house. For me to look after, even though i had said no to looking after him. The dc let Exh and dog in when i was out. They love that dog and of course had no knowledge of anything.

ExH is gone now for two weeks. Abroad. He just walked out and took off to the airport, leaving dog behind.

I've got two dc and two cats and work long hours. The cats have never spent a night/day alone in the house with this dog. He is kind and mellow, but a large breed. Size of a wolf.
I've contacted a dog shelter and might have to go to go through rspca.

Posting to tell someone. This is just one of many many ways he always finds a way to use me or control my life. I didn't want any of this. And now im left here calling shelters (which im asked to pay for), calling womens aid, calling rspca, figuring out how to do this without upsetting the dc, texting exH to sort out care if he doesn't want me to take this further, posting here for support, trying to figure out tomorrow with sorting out the kids, my work, other stuff, business meeting and my actual day job. Honestly?! Wtf!!!

So put it back in your ex's house, report it as abandoned and leave it at that.

It's not on you what happens next, it's 100% on him

You also need to have strong words with your kids.

The dog is now in exh house and im at work. He texted that hes working on finding a solution.
But i dont have much faith in that tbh.

I am so appalled on your behalf, OP - what an absolute shit stain your exh is. I hope he's able to find someone to care for the dog, and I hope you can find ways to remove your ex's claws from you moving forward - I know it's hard and it takes time. Sending you loads of love x

Can he come back? Leave the dog there at his house. It’s his problem not yours. He can pay the dog sitter to come pick it up.

If he has a friend that regularly walks it for him you'd think it wouldn't be that difficult to sort wouldn't you?

Maybe 13yr old could do a morning toilet walk, friend takes out later & evening?

Another poster babying a man… its not yours or the OP’s problem. Move on. If any decent pet owners go on holiday they would sort out pet care.

Take the dog to ANY vet's office, tell him you found it loose on the streets, and leave it there. They'll contact your DH after they scan the chip.

Done.

And find someone else to look after your cats, FFS. That hasn't helped your cause here.

The number of people here who think vets are stray dog dispensaries, that shelters will just take any dog off you without even making any checks, that vets will put a dog to sleep for you without asking any questions or even bothering to check if it's yours, or that boarding kennels are happy to take dogs and hold them indefinitely for you without upfront payment is mindboggling. As is the number of people who think it's perfectly fine to lie in order to trick these charities/small businesses into helping you.

Am I missing something here - why on earth would the OP either want or need to find someone else to look after her cats? 😕

She's apparently asked the ex feed her cats while on holiday! Madness if she wants him out of her life and home!

When an abusive, manipulative Ex is involved, yes. Let a vet's office scan the chip and contact the owner.

OP needs to not see the Ex when he returns, especially to hand over a dog she never agreed to look after in the first place. And can't afford to look after. And doesn't have any responsibility for legally.

That's fine then. The animal is his problem, quite literally not your circus and not your monkeys. He was relying on you to make it your problem and just look after it without complaining.

Do not answer ANY more texts from him. This animal is his problem and if comes back to shit all over his apartment and a dog which hasn't been out in a fortnight, that is not your problem.

What a nasty, stupid comment.

Did I say it was my problem?

I'm just chatting like everyone else on here?

You going to tell all of them to "move on" as well?

And he said no, so she found someone else. Being sane and all that.

Just reply to him "great you're working on a solution. The dog's at yours so you can sort it from here".

End of your problem - back to being your ex's problem.

I'd follow up and say "Don't ever do anything like that again to me, to the kids, to your dog. Any behaviour like this going forwards will be reported to the police and to my solicitor"

Start building an evidence folder of his gaslighting behaviour. You may need it at some point.

I agree with the person who suggested you get a cheap PAYG phone for him to contact you on and set up a new email address for that purpose too (so that he can communicate to you about the kids and only about the kids). Everything else is his adult responsibility to sort out and you will not be for any other purpose.

Your days of being his lacky are over!

Hopefully the dog destroys everything.

Book the poor dig into a boarding kennels, not a shelter! Shame on you

She can't afford it, doesn't own the dog, doesn't have access to its health records and doesn't know its vaccine status. I can't see any kennels taking it.

The ex needs to sort this out.

Are you going to offer to pay for it? The OP can't afford to (and even if she could, why should she, as it isnt her dog), and no boarding kennels is going to take a dog without payment up front!

You can surrender it to a vet, or local rescue.

They won't take the dog if told the truth, it is a legal nightmare and likely leaves them out of pocket as well. Neither vets nor rescues want to be used as free kennelling!

They wouldn't immediately take the dog if they believed it to be the OP's dog, strangely enough vets are not rescues and rescues are full, there are (not just in the UK but around the world) waiting lists to get dogs into rescues.

If OP lies and say's she found the dog, they'd scan the chip and discover the lie, OP stands a good chance of legal action, depriving someone of their property, theft etc.

This isn't just a horrible idea from the POV of messing other people around and costing them time and money, it is also highly unlikely to actually work in the first place and if it did, OP could be in legal trouble.

I say keep the dog. When the ex comes to pick up the dog tell him no! Just kidding! But do keep the dog safe. It’s not his fault your ex is a dick.

How awful for the poor dog. Please do not harm the dog. Find a pet sitter/dog boarder and book the dog in / send your ex the invoice on his return. No need to be nasty and harm the animal especially if the kids love him/her.