New colleague commenting on name

[Ifyouseeitsayit1983]

Felt a bit upset and annoyed today. Started a new job yesterday. Another person started at the same time. We were completing online training this afternoon and she saw my surname on the screen. She said 'how do you pronounce that?!?' with a derogatory tone. I told her. Now my name is not awful pronounced correctly but if pronounced incorrectly could be mistaken for a rude word for a man's private parts! After I told her the correct pronunciation she said 'oh I bet loads of people pronounce it the wrong way ha ha' and laughed. Now bear in mind I'd never met this woman before yesterday morning and she has already given off an air of superiority to the others in the team 'oh I could never drink instant' for example so not warming to her. I just laughed it off (name thing) but felt really down after. Don't want to put up with aholes like this in the workplace! Would u just ignore and try to stay away or say anything to line manager??

Definitely don't bring it up to your manager! Just ignore and see how other people respond to her - she sounds like a bellend but maybe she's just nervous

If it's the former, others will see it too x

I think maybe you are reading too much into it? I will often ask how to pronounce a name ( or apologise if I am about to attempt to pronounce it and get it horribly wrong). I still find it hard to judge intent if not in person. Maybe she is just trying to get to know people?

I don’t like instant coffee and have a very dry sense of humour.

We probably wouldn’t make great friends OP…

Possibly nervous - give her the benefit of the doubt, but be on guard.

Kill her with kindness though - thats fun to do

(whats the name?????)

You are reading far too much into this.

Christ, don't bring it up to your line manager. You're five minutes in to a new job, they'll think you're bonkers.

Surely there are more important things you can focus on as you take on a new job? Training perhaps?

If she's going to be a wanker, let her be a wanker.

Time will tell. If she's awful it won't just be you she's awful to. Don't let her get under your skin.

Careful, Ms Behlend might read this!

😂

WHAT IS THE NAME @Ifyouseeitsayit1983 ??????????

Like I'm going to type my name! Thanks, a lot of you have made me actually feel worse for doing nothing wrong.

I think you're being a bit over-sensitive. All the guidance I've ever seen is that if you don't know how to pronounce someone's name, you should ask them. Until you've heard someone quite a bit, it's not always easy to tell what is just their normal tone and what is trying to convey something. And the comment afterwards was just small talk - maybe not the best, but she might just have been trying to be friendly.
It sounds like she might not be "your type", but give her a chance - you can probably rub along together even if you are never going to be friends - but you won't if you go running to your line manager after one clumsy attempt at small talk.

That might have been her attempt at being friendly! Ignore it for now, as others say she might be nervous, she might be a pain,you'll soon know. If she was mocking your name or calling you the wrong name that would be wrong. She merely commented it sounds like something else.

My guess is Wiley or Dique 😋

Nobody said you've done anything wrong and the responses are positively mild for AIBU.
OP, the workplace is generally rife with wankers. Her quip was possibly nothing but a bad, ill-thought-out joke. You're hyper-focusing on it, and it's a waste of time.

Omgggg 😄😄, I didn't even think, sorry op!

See how easy it is to say something dumb

I wouldn't worry about it - you've got her card marked, just wait and see how she behaves moving forward x

Starting a new job is emotionally draining. It’ll get better. Just put this conversation aside and concentrate on what went well in your new job today.

Thank you, think I'm a bit hormonal as well so little things are hitting harder 🤣 I'll be ok xx

Thanks, a lot of you have made me actually feel worse for doing nothing wrong

I get the feeling you're extremely sensitive, nobody has made you feel worse, you have asked for their thoughts, they gave them.

I don't know what office everyone else works in but in mine that would be completely unacceptable behaviour. I wouldn't say anything to your manager but I would write down date time exact words and any witnesses in case it escalates. She needs to grow the fuck up

Sounds like she’s going to be a pain in the arse, but your manager should figure that out for themselves! If you were established and she was new, then I might say something, but I don’t think you’re in the right position to do so now.

She was mocking it. If someone tells you their name is cockburn you don't then say cock-burn and take the piss

I certainly wouldn't mention her behaviour to my new manager if I was you! I would just ignore, be nice, give her the benefit of the doubt about being nervous. If it turns out she is horrible then others will pick it up, but I wouldn't complain in a new job (especially for something which isn't a massive issue, just not very nice).

Pernice or Pennis?

What would you say to your new manager?

That this woman asked you how to pronounce your surname and you perceived her tone to be derogatory?

And then she said that she would bet that people pronounced it wrong.

And that you think she thinks she attempting to convey that she is better than you by telling you that she doesn't like instant coffee?

I can understand feeling anxious in a new job and then having this to contend with. The PP who said she was mocking it sounds right. I think I'd do nothing for now and see how things pan out but be wary of her. Hope you're OK OP.