New colleague commenting on name

[Ifyouseeitsayit1983]

Felt a bit upset and annoyed today. Started a new job yesterday. Another person started at the same time. We were completing online training this afternoon and she saw my surname on the screen. She said 'how do you pronounce that?!?' with a derogatory tone. I told her. Now my name is not awful pronounced correctly but if pronounced incorrectly could be mistaken for a rude word for a man's private parts! After I told her the correct pronunciation she said 'oh I bet loads of people pronounce it the wrong way ha ha' and laughed. Now bear in mind I'd never met this woman before yesterday morning and she has already given off an air of superiority to the others in the team 'oh I could never drink instant' for example so not warming to her. I just laughed it off (name thing) but felt really down after. Don't want to put up with aholes like this in the workplace! Would u just ignore and try to stay away or say anything to line manager??

We wouldn't get on, I'd see the joke as an ice breaker

I think you are overreacting massively.

Or Knaub

Are people derogatory with it?

I am also asked all the time, and I do have to correct pronunciation repeatedly. That is fine.

Only very very very rarely is it done derogatorily nowadays. When it is derogatory, it is not ok.

I mean I'm guessing your name has been commented on before, it can't be the first time. I only say this as my surname was a cause for much merriment at 1 point due to a particular TV show. I had to let it go over my head, no way could I be reporting it every time. I am just imagining how the conversation would go with your line manager, please don't do that😅

Is it Cockburn?

years ago my colleague forwarded an email from his fiance (it was the early 2000s when people forwarded jokes to each other in emails). I saw her surname and thought it was hilarious: told my colleague “no wonder she’s so keen to get married.”

as revenge he introduced me to his wife’s brother. I now have the funny surname

So asking how your name is pronounced in a derogatory manner

How can you even ask this question in a derogatory manner? To me it sounds that OP is way too sensitive, not everything is a personal insult. I have a colleague like that, the other day she was offended because someone said they like winter but her birthday is in the summer, so clearly the other person must mean they don't like the snowflake..

The colleague was being an arse. And yes I would avoid her and be as perfunctory as professionally possible. BUT... the OP has a name that sounds like a penis .... And she has to develop resilience around it. She can not control what people say to her to but she can control her reaction to it. It is very odd to me that after years of having this name she is still upset and writing about it on social media when someone says something. Then when someone on here said something she didn't like she told them "they had made her feel worse" I don't think Op has to accept bad behaviour but I do think she needs to work on her resilience.

Well you openly just said if it’s pronounced wrong then it sounds like cock/ penis/Willy so she just stated a fact did she not? Lighten up Mrs crock.

She made a passing comment!

I thought it was going to be that she has called you the wrong name for weeks!

Don't be so ridiculous!

I thought I was the only Mrs Skrot in the world 🥹

Very unprofessional of her. She obviously lacks social skills. I'd be very irritated and would probably mention it to HR straight off (depending on the situation) to nip it in the bud.

Is it Wiley?
I know a Wiley who's forever being called Willy 🙄

The colleague was out of order. I'd make a note with date and time, but not raise anything. She may settle down or she may prove to be a bully, or not suitable for some roles such as recruitment.

I also really, really want to write a list of words for the male organ of generation and win the guessing game; I'm sorry!

🤣🤣🤣

It's the comment "oh I could never drink instant" that would make me think she is an absolute pain in the arse and the other comment she made about your name certainly wasn't friendly banter. I love my coffee and would never have instant coffee in the house but I've enough self awareness not to come out with stuff like that with people I've just met. It says a lot about her character. I've met her type before

Bring it up to the line manager? Please don’t be that person.

Laugh it off.

Really, some people would march straight to HR to complain that a colleague asked how your surname was pronounced? Maybe she saw the name Cockburn the first time and didn't want to risk guessing?

I’m sorry to most people on this thread, but I’m pretty robust and I think the colleague sounds like she was being a twat- and if I heard you taking the piss out of a new starter like that on their first day, I’d think you were a twat too.

I worked with a Steve Dick... I had quite a heated argument with him about women choosing not to take their husband's names!

Also knew a teacher who was Mrs Pennis - pronounced "Pen-aise"

Weenie
Member
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Mickey?

But she isn't the one who said it sounds like genitals you have here. Maybe that'd why she asked how on earth do you pronounce it so as not to be rude or cause embarrassment. I think your own insecurity over your name may have clouded your judgement.

Complaining about something so trivial in a new job will mark you out more than her. But if it still bothers you make a note of it and if there is subsequently a pattern of behaviour you find unacceptable use it as an example then.

You have done nothing wrong. It was dickish behaviour.

I still wouldn't say anything to the manager when you've only been there a couple of days, especially if you hope to stay there. Unfortunately, it will only be you who will look like the troublemaker in those circumstances irrespective of whether you're right. And FWIW, I think you are right: the unfuny office 'funny one' is a royal pain in the arse as the 'Colin Hunt' parody made painfully plain. YABU to find her rude and annoying.

I know it's hard, but people like this are best tuned out. If she starts a bullying campaign then that, of course, is different, but if childish put-downs are her thing let her crack on. If she brings it up again, smile sweetly and say 'I'll bet you can't guess how many times I've heard that one before!' Or, 'that was funny, have you heard the one about the cock and the elephant?'

If she thinks she isn't bothering you, she may give up.

It was fine for her to ask how to pronounce it but the follow up comment was out of order. Things happen so quickly at times, that it's hard to know how to react.

I think with hindsight I would have wanted to play dumb and say "I can't imagine what you're referring to. What do you mean?"

I know someone who started with the surname Willey and married a Kuntz. Disappointed they didn't double barrel tbh.