New colleague commenting on name

[Ifyouseeitsayit1983]

Felt a bit upset and annoyed today. Started a new job yesterday. Another person started at the same time. We were completing online training this afternoon and she saw my surname on the screen. She said 'how do you pronounce that?!?' with a derogatory tone. I told her. Now my name is not awful pronounced correctly but if pronounced incorrectly could be mistaken for a rude word for a man's private parts! After I told her the correct pronunciation she said 'oh I bet loads of people pronounce it the wrong way ha ha' and laughed. Now bear in mind I'd never met this woman before yesterday morning and she has already given off an air of superiority to the others in the team 'oh I could never drink instant' for example so not warming to her. I just laughed it off (name thing) but felt really down after. Don't want to put up with aholes like this in the workplace! Would u just ignore and try to stay away or say anything to line manager??

Eurrrgghh instant coffee, hate the stuff.
I don't think we can be friends.

But she also sounds like the sort of twat that will keep being twatty, and therefore seal their own fate

This. I agree with pp who advised not to report her - people will soon suss her out. I’ve worked with a few similar people in the past and they often like to repeat the same “jokes.” Try to think of a good comeback if she does it again. I once made a silly comment about a mate’s new boyfriend’s name that rhymed with a rude word - he replied smiling and enthusiastically “oh wow that’s really original, I’ve never heard that before!!” He said it so nicely, I’m still cringing about it now 30 years later as I must have looked like a complete dick (in my defence I was a teenager at the time) 🥴

Don't say anything, you're new.

Just get her back in 6 months time 😂

I drink Instant {Carte Noir} as it's convenient- real coffee can be made so very badly that sometimes instant is better.

Tepid 'real' cappuccino with a milky flavour is foul - give me the hot instant compared to that!

Occasionally one gets really good cappuccino, but it takes a skilled barista to make one. Temperature is so important.

Is it Crotch?! :D no way you can go to the line manager for this as well. :)

Someone laughing at your name is rude and insensitive. No wonder you aren’t liking what you’ve seen of this person.

perhaps when you are with her alone next time, just let her know

say, I found it insensitive of you to laugh at my name and it didn’t give me a good impression of you. I just thought I’d let you know

if she apologises then take it from there

byt if she try’s to blame you or gas light you, then you’ll have your answer to her character

She sounds unbelievably, horrifically rude and you are right to be annoyed/upset. I would give her a wide berth but be perfectly polite to her if you do need to interact. Chances are everyone knows she's a bellend.

Yes the OP is being a little sensitive but I thought we were past the point of laughing at people’s names especially when we have just met them? It doesn’t require complaining to the manager but it is very very very rude.

Unpopular opinion but I think she's really rude. In this day and age it isn't hard to be polite and respectful when learning new names. We get extensive culture and unconscious bias training in my workplace and this type of stuff just wouldn't fly.

Wouldn't raise it with your manager though, unless she starts behaving inappropriately (instant drink preference doesn't count!)

Don't say anything to your manager, not for just this one thing. It sounds like you are being a little sensitive but if it starts to become a regular thing keep a record

I think that, whatever the reason, making fun of people names in this way is very juvenile and unprofessional. There was nothing wrong in checking how to pronounce it but the rest was uncalled for.
However I’m inclined to agree with those who say that she will probably soon rub so many people up the wrong way that she will not pass her probation or get the push. In the meantime, just carry on making a great impression yourself!

This 100% 🤣 adore you for this response! I also dislike instant coffee but would never dream of talking down to someone who clearly does and has so kindly offered me a cup. I would just very politely decline! It comes down to basic manners and decemcy.

Honestly my name is nowhere near as bad as the ones you are suggesting. I've worked in education for 20 years with 1000s of students and its only ever been a few rude adults who've felt the need to make something out of nothing! Just very grating and unnecessary qhen people think theyre being hilarious but of course I won't report it now I've had time to calm! Signed Mademoiselle Belhend 🤣

YANBU to think she’s out of order but I’d just keep quiet and let her dig her own hole. Sounds as though she’s doing ok at that already.

Thank goodness someone who works in a similar office environment to me. If she's taking the piss out of your name OP who else is she taking the piss out of. I'm sorry you had to put up with this.

There's no point saying anything to anyone.
Just take note that this person is almost certainly an arsehole. Hopefully you won't need to speak to them regularly. It could also be they were feeling nervous, were out of their depth and tried to be 'funny' and it clearly backfired.
Just ignore them and move on. Concentrate on the work and you'll organically make friends with nicer people soon enough I'm sure.

Pennis or Dyke?

My birth name was very similar to yours. I found actually it was rare people outright said the slang for penis they would over pronounce it.

With someone like this woman I would just smile and say "actually no that doesnt happen often people are polite"

I don't drink instant coffee I don't like it not that I announce it outloud I just say no thank you. I think this one is about you just taking the high road op. Others will see her behaviour too.

I think you're massively overreacting

Eh? The OP said that the woman literally said:'oh I bet loads of people pronounce it the wrong way ha ha'

What on earth is 'unbelievably, horrifically rude' about that? Maybe at most, 'a bit off' or 'slightly unprofessional' but it's nowhere near 'horrifically rude.'

I've got a name that is pronounced wrongly 75% of the time, so I know that it CAN be grating, but this example is a bit of nothing, IMO OP.

She was stupid and tactless but don't say anything to the manager, it was hopefully a one off.

Just be glad your address isn't in Cockermouth.

Fucking hell, he sounds like a character from Viz, I love it!

N

Cockburn?
Le Coq?

Anyway, I'd let it go this time OP but if she starts deliberately pronouncing it wrong finding it "totes hilar" then you can tell her to pack it in and if she doesn't at that point you could mention it to someone.

I think you are overreacting. I lived for 30 years with a first name/ surname combination that made everyone laugh. While I really got fed up with it, I don’t blame people. I took my husband’s surname on marriage.

Behlend, Cockburn, Penistone...

If your surname is non-English, I'd keep an ear out for any further sly remarks or deliberate mispronunciation of foreign names and people. I have a foreign surname so anyone asking 'how do you pronounce that then?!' in an somewhat aggressive way usually follows it up with general xenophobia.

Deliberately mispronouncing their own name in a silly way usually makes them apologise and learn 😅 Tam for Tim, Colon for Colin, etc.