To not answer the door if I don’t know who it is?

[BluntJadeCritic]

I always feel anxious when someone knocks or rings the doorbell, and if I don’t recognise them, I just ignore it. People I know say it could be a friend/family member, or even an emergency, but that seems unlikely. With so many stories about door-to-door salespeople or worse, I feel justified. AIBU for prioritising my comfort and safety over potentially disappointing someone on the other side?

Because you think you will miss out on something if you don’t and that need is too great so you HAVE to.

Well tell that to the poor bloke he answered the door and got acid thrown in his face.

I agree with you there but I was taking about tge person knocking rather than the person answering.

Not for a child puking I won’t.

Look, OP, it's perfectly alright, even when frowned on ...
😉

But perhaps whatever you would need help for, I would consider less urgent than an sick, upset small child. It's all subjective.

But if you knocked on my door in need of assistance, I would help if I could, regardless of whether I would've asked a stranger in your shoes.

It's nice to be nice.

YANBU. I don’t answer the door either unless I’m expecting a parcel or if the Post man needs to hand me anything. Even then I still check who it is before answering.

My daughter doesn’t really visit I go to her as it’s just easier. If she was to visit she’d phone first to check I was in. If it was my sister my nephews would shout through the door “auntie spider”.
Just random unexpected knocks though no way do I answer the door.
I also don’t answer my phone to unknown numbers or numbers I don’t recognize.

It is. If I was coming in and I met a person who needed help of course I would help them, if I answered the door when expecting a package and it was someone needing help I would help them. A random knock I would not answer nor would I knock on anyone’s house unless it really was a life or death situation. Last resort type of thing.

One Christmas Eve I answered the door to a young woman I did not know, she was shoeless, cold and scared. She was the victim of domestic violence and had been randomly knocking on doors. No one else had answered. She did not know where she was. We called the police and found an emergency shelter for her. She could have been dead by morning. Then people say on the news, why did no one do anything?

The people who choose not to answer the door are not responsible for this. Everyone has the right not to answer the door. So in that case people are expected to answer the door every single time, night or day in case there is a situation like this?

Is this serious or satire.

we learned something new today. No one should ever open the door to anyone they don’t know in case they have acid thrown in their face.

Like I said, MN is a very strange place.

@BarbaraHoward I'm glad your situation turned out ok but remember Holly and Jessica the two girls from Soham who knocked on a door because one had a nosebleed......
Apologies if that upsets anyone.

The not answering the door thing is the thing that most marks out the MN population as being out of step with the rest of the world. I do not know anyone outside MN who consciously ignores their doorbell or a knock. This strange behaviour makes me realise how disconnected from the actual world many MNers are and that their life experiences and the associated advice provided should be taken with a hefty pinch of salt. 'I'm too busy being important' to open my door while sitting on MN answering threads about not opening the door. It's a parallel universe.

I definitely get this fear, the other day we had a food shop coming in the evening but I'd kind of forgotten about it and the fear that went through me when the doorbell rang was horrible.
But the only time someone unexpected has rung our doorbell in the evening was to tell us that my cars handbrake had failed and rolled into their car which was not fun!
I would usually still open the door, but the only unexpected people are door to door sales people or the postman.
Perhaps get a ring door bell or similar so you can see who's there and even talk to them? You could ask why they're there etc.

I think that's a slightly disproportionate reaction, don't you?

Aside from the fact that I was a middle aged adult rather than a small child, I guess I shouldn't have married because of the thousands of women killed by their husbands. Or had children with a man because of all the children abused by their fathers. Or driven along the road in the first place because of all those killed by drivers who are drunk or speeding.

Careless, careless me.

I do think there is a difference between completing ignoring the door and calling out "who is it?" before opening.
I was taught as a child (1980s) that you should either have a chain on if you are opening the door or if you don't have a chain to ask who it is first.
So people not answering the door to unexpected knocks isn't exactly a new concept.

@BarbaraHoward it was a risk though but yes your choice to take it.
Not sure I would over puke in the car.

Honestly I didn't for a second consider it a risk, and I think it's quite sad that some would. The vast majority of people are good.

Given it was during covid and we weren't sure why she had been sick, I did consider the risk to the people in the house and popped a mask on, took all the rubbish away etc.

Have a medieval door with hatch fitted to your 1940s semi-d

Exactly this. ^ It is NOT the responsibility of people to answer the door to every random who knocks 'in case someone dies if they don't answer it.'

Fucking hell.

@LaineyCee · Today 00:34

I never answer the door to unknown callers. I consider it the height of rudeness to rock up at someone’s door and expect them to speak to you. It’s nothing to do with anxiety and everything to do with choosing who I want coming to my home. If they want to see me, they can make an appointment.

This. ^ Me and DH don't even turn up at our DC's home without letting them know we're going. They are busy young professionals and they work from home some days, so I don't think they would be chuffed at me just turning up! An hour's notice is OK sometimes, but other days they are very busy. And as I said, I work from home and have a busy life too!

@Sneezeless · Today 01:51

Unless you live in a crime ridden hellhole you are being ridiculous

That comment is ridiculous! You don't need to live in a crime ridden hellhole to be scammed and conned by people. Rural areas are targets for scammers and robberies. Only last month, a man got into an elderly lady's house by posing as a man from British Gas, saying he was here to do the Safety Check on the boiler, and when he got in, he knocked her out and robbed her. She died a few weeks later of heart failure. Doctors put her death down the the shock from the attack. But hey,.... Everyone should answer the door to every random who knocks shouldn't they..............?!

Give me strength!

As I said, I don't know why some people on here are so salty and angry about others not answering the door when they're not expecting someone. I can only surmise that they're the annoying and irksome popper-inners who rock up at peoples houses, uninvited, and expect people to drop everything to entertain them. So narcissistic and entitled.

Also, just quit the 'you're weird and need therapy for your anxiety, and you're socially stunted' type comments. These comments are so rude and ignorant, and frankly quite nasty. You know NOTHING about these people who you're commenting on who choose to not answer the door to unwanted and uninvited visitors. So zip it!

There is a huge difference between sitting at home explaining on Mumsnet about why you don’t answer your door than actually answering your door every single time without knowing who it is and having to have an unwanted exchange.

I can't believe you don't answer the door OP. Once I saw a gigantic cloud of dust shaped like a mushroom above the village. I gently knocked on my neighbour's door to let them know but they didn't answer. I haven't seen them since.

It’s typical MN that something as normal and mundane as answering the door is catastrophised by the strange people on here by picking out the extreme rare crimes. Acid attacks and Soham murders? What utter batshittery?

By that measure, all crimes can be linked to door answering in some way. Everyone who lives in a dwelling has some kind of door on it.

MN needs its own sketch show on tv.

Characters:

The terrified door answerer (or not in this case) hiding behind the sofa, trembling with with fear because someone is at the door

The infamous MN chicken that you can get 56 thousand meals made from

The brainwashed curtain twitcher reporting their neighbour for taking their second walk of the day in 2020

Mother of the year who is the first woman ever to give birth. Perpetually offended and concerned. Rocks up to MN for advice because oh no, father in law gave the toddler a sip of coffee, mother in law fed the kid a custard tart on a trip to the bakery, own mother is a evil for taking too much interest in the grandchild and is ‘taking over’.

The virtuous monk who thinks anyone earning more than 3 pence a year is rolling in it and should never complain about anything because they earn more than she gets in benefits.

The trendy soap dodger, who thinks that anyone has more than 2 showers a year and doesn’t lick their dog’s bowl clean with their own tongue is just a snob.

And then there are the commentators on politics and economy related threads. People with 0 knowledge about how the economy works, reminding you how scary it is that these people get to vote.

@Ytcsghisn so why have doors always had locks, peepholes, chains etc on them. As shown above - even in medieval times. It's not new.
There's a reason people have doors. Even cave people probably had some kind of covering at the entrance. Keep the warm in, for privacy and to keep strangers and dangers out.
It's human common sense.