To not answer the door if I don’t know who it is?

[BluntJadeCritic]

I always feel anxious when someone knocks or rings the doorbell, and if I don’t recognise them, I just ignore it. People I know say it could be a friend/family member, or even an emergency, but that seems unlikely. With so many stories about door-to-door salespeople or worse, I feel justified. AIBU for prioritising my comfort and safety over potentially disappointing someone on the other side?

I think this is strange, yes.

I answer my door. I also answer my phone. When it's a sales person etc I simply interrupt saying now is not a good time and shut the door/hang up.

I don't answer the door to chuggers, energy switch people or Jehovah's witnesses. Easy to see through the spyhole who is knocking as chuggers and energy switch people generally have lanyard and clipboard and JW's knock Wednesday and Saturday morning. Local FB groups generally alert everyone to the chuggers or the energy switch people knocking as well. I answer the door to everyone else though.

I can confirm in 40 odd years of throwing caution to the wind and opening the door whenever anyone knocks, nothing awful has befallen me. Perhaps I'm just lucky to live in a decent area, to have the confidence to just say no thanks and shut the door on sales people and have nice friends who I'd be happy to see without invitation.

I have a quick peak from the upstairs window. The only time I might not answer is if it's charity people or those ex-prisoners selling cheap dusters for about £10 a packet.

I think it depends where you live, I can think of some places I wouldn't open the door to strangers.
I once had a very aggressive individual try and sell me an aerial view of the house. I said 'no thanks' he wouldn't leave it, I then said it more forcefully and he still wouldn't leave, eventually I told him if he didn't leave I'd be calling the police. It got very verbally abusive and left, absolutely horrible individual. However since having the dog, it's a very good deterrent, and not had any further incidents, they knock on the door, hear and see the dog and scarper!

Get a ring doorbell then you can screen who you answer the door to.

Do you live somewhere rough and dangerous?

I'm the same OP. I check my ring doorbell and if I don't know you or not expecting a parcel I ain't answering.

Look at you living life on the edge!

I have a video doorbell so can see who's at the door.

But I've been known not to answer the door. There isn't a reasonable or unreasonable side on this one. If people pop around without giving a heads up, they can't be then disappointed if you aren't in or actually maybe busy and don't want disturbed.

And for us, often times deliver drivers don't actually ring the bell - they go straight to the safe place to leave a parcel - have seen them do that when I get the alert to say parec delivered and I think I didn't hear the door so check the video.

If you don't feel comfortable, it's perfectly ok not to answer the door if you don't want to.

Only on here will people be offended at the mere suggestion that you can ignore the door

I'm glad someone answered the door when my car broke down and I needed to phone for help.

What exactly do you think might happen if you answer the door to 'someone' hitherto unknown (eg someone new to the area introducing themselves as 'John and Sarah, just moved in at number 42')?

I love doormats like these, I wouldn’t have the guts to buy one though!

My photo didn’t add for some reason. But it’s the ‘Audacity’ doormat that you can find on Google search.

Of course you (and everyone) can choose whether or not to answer their door. But I definitely cared when my I fled my violent ex as he was threatening to kill me. I knocked on 7 doors in an attempt to hide from him and not a single person answered despite lights being on etc. I was hospitalised as a result.

I hate cold callers so only answer if I am expecting a delivery.

Do you live somewhere dangerous? Have you had a bad experience in the past? Not to answer the door seems a bit strange to me but I live in a village where we don't often get door to door sales etc. If there's anyone dodgy about, someone puts a message of FB quickly.
I don't see the problem in just answering the door.

I always answer the door (and very occasionally it means it's have to tell an unwanted sales person to bugger off).

Thankfully my neighbours always answer their doors too, since on one occasion I was choking (unconscious, not breathing) and my son ran to bang on a nearby door - I'm eternally grateful to the man who saved my life, since the ambulance didn't arrive for 9 minutes and I've have been long dead. And no, my son wouldn't have had the foresight to keep knocking and/or calling through the letterbox of someone he only knew by sight - or write him a letter as a pp suggested...

That’s all true, but many folks find it difficult to essentially be rude - and that is what you often have to be with pushy sales people or charity fundraisers. I’m an HE lecturer and I have no problem being assertive, but I don’t like shutting a door on someone even when they’ve had three goes at trying to get me to switch broadband. And - if I’m working at home it disrupts my train of thought.

OP, I switch my ring doorbell notifications on and just look at my phone - and then I decide whether to answer or ignore.

What can I say, I'm a thrill seeker! I also answer my phone when I don't know the caller and have even been known to allow tradespeople to use my loo.

Could this be an old people/young people thing? Old (over 40ish) more likely to answer and young not ?

This is my experience from people i actually know but can it be generalised?

We need to know ages!

I am late 50s and always answer (unless in shower) i even jump up out of bed to get the door!

Sweatheart yerself! 🙄 Trust me I know all about anxiety. Which is why I know that avoidance is often not a great long-term tactic, especially when the fears are irrational (eg being attacked on the doorstep).

I am over 50 and answer the door. I have not done a survey among my friends and acquaintances though.

I suppose it depends. Would like like to answer the door ie. do you want to get over your anxiety about it? If you're feeling justified about your decision then accept that and don't think about it more ie. own your decision. It's your home.