To not answer the door if I don’t know who it is?

[BluntJadeCritic]

I always feel anxious when someone knocks or rings the doorbell, and if I don’t recognise them, I just ignore it. People I know say it could be a friend/family member, or even an emergency, but that seems unlikely. With so many stories about door-to-door salespeople or worse, I feel justified. AIBU for prioritising my comfort and safety over potentially disappointing someone on the other side?

I'm just glad we don't have landlines so much anymore. I remember the stress of being a teenager and some unwanted guy calling on the landline.

The ringing would go right through me.

Erm.,,

I always answer the door. We have an intercom (if that's what it's still called) so know who's there

It's either Royal Mail, Amazon, a religious zealot or a nice neighbour. No problemo.

If you never ever order anything online then I guess you know you don't need to answer it. Just peep put the window or get a door camera, then at least you'll see who's there. I wouldn't ignore it out of fear, but equally I wouldn't go downstairs if it looked like a salesman or charity collector.

I always answer but we don't tend to get charity callers or anyone selling anything
It's usually the neighbour asking if their cat has broken into mine, or offering cake or something random like when my car had rolled back as the handbrake had failed

Was very grateful they answered the door when I needed help one evening and was panicking

This is exactly how I feel.

People have many ways now to warn or ask in advance if they can visit. There's no excuse to just turn up at someone's door.

The same for phone calls too. Please text in advance (or ideally don't attempt to call me at all!).

As I said upthread, there were two occasions I knocked on a stranger's door and was very glad that they answered.

The first was when a small DC was travel sick all over the car. It was during covid and we weren't sure why she'd been sick, but they gave us out wipes and plastic bags and let us use their outside taps.

The second was not long after and on the same stretch of motorway when our car broke down. We managed to pull off the motorway and stopped in a safe spot outside a house. I rang the doorbell when small DC needed the loo. Not only did they let us use their loo, but they welcomed all four of us with open arms and kept us fed and watered in their living room until the tow truck arrived.

Was it the height of rudeness of us to depend on the kindness of strangers?

Unless you live ina crime ridden hellhole you are being ridiculous

If you didn’t invite the person to your home then you aren’t obliged to open the door! You can get no cold caller signs to put up or look into a ring door bell/cctv. Also always ask for ID if it is someone like the electric meter man. Most people are harmless/annoying but I do understand the fear, we live rural and there are a couple of local robbery horror stories so I’m always careful.

I don't answer without checking who it is first. I look at my doorbell cam and see who it is. Usually it is something ok, a neighbour recieved our mail or an ecpected delivery. I have a bowl of coins in case kids come to fundraise by selling chocolate bars, but have not had any since 2020.

Get a ring doorbell then if you don’t know them you can ignore

We’ve had dodgy people at our door before. One guy claimed to be a meter reader ( in the middle of the first lockdown ) we didn’t let him in. We phoned after he left to find out there were no meter readings going on at all…..so dodgy.

Another guy said he came to check to see if our solar panels had been fitted correctly and could he go into our loft…err no! He was, he said, doing this out of the goodness of his own heart 🤣🤣🤣🤣 really dodgy.

Honestly if we answered the doorbell every time it rang we’d end up being the local post office as delivery drivers can’t be bothered searching the country lanes…..So I’m in agreement with you OP.

Don’t you worry it’s someone checking the house is empty to break in?

Really?
Is there always someone in your house….just in case ?

Some people on MN are offended or disgusted or... something?... when they learn that someone they don't know on the Internet does things differently to how they do them.

I don't answer the door if I don't want to, including if I don't know who the person is and am not disposed to deal with them. If it's important they'll leave a note or contact me in some other way. One of the joys of being an adult is ignoring the phone and the door when I so choose. It's a liberating sensation to know that I'm in control of when, how, and even if I interact with random strangers!

I don't answer the door either. Unless I am expecting a friend, relative, or delivery.

I do have anxiety.

I also have a no backbone and can't say no. In shops, I get harassed by charity people and end up signing up for monthly donations (unless I'm with someone who saves me). Once back at home, I then cancel the direct debit.

I was once almost converted by JW's at home because I was too polite to say no.

So, yeah. No door answering here.

No phone calls from numbers I don't know either. I only answer calls from DH, DM, and my step kids. Even if it's a number I recognise I wait for whoever it is to leave a message and if it's important I'll call back.

I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone or a delivery. I'm sick of people saying they can see damage to the roof or gutters and they can fix it. Sometimes they can be pushy. I don't need a Sky subscription, or to change my phone company either.

I have an annoying neighbour who sometimes knocks trying to offload stuff they no longer want.

YANBU. Anyone who says you are is being ridiculous

I have a ring doorbell so I can see who it is, you can speak to them from the app if you want to know more about who they are. I do sometimes (shock horror) not bother looking who it is when i’m wfh, I just answer. It seems that you’re not alone by not answering, which is your prerogative.

I always answer the door to whoever knocks when I'm not expecting anyone. 9 times out of 10 it's someone trying to sell me something, the other time it's a neighbour or Amazon.

Starting to wish I was more like you lol

That's a bit rich. You're afraid of the doorbell.

This says it all. In the real world I don't know a single person who doesn't open the door when someone knocks on it.

MN seems to attract the highly anxious and the socially stunted.

Let me guess - you don't answer the phone to a number you don't recognise either. Am I right?

Excellent point lol! We actually leave both doors open all day and night for the dog.

Only on Mumsnet is it classed as 'weird' to not answer the door when you are not expecting anyone. In real life, most people don't answer, (when they're not expecting anyone) because of all the reasons mentioned, like scammers at the door, salesmen, people trying to ditch people parcels on you, and energy companies and charities bothering you.

Only on mumsnet is it classed as weird to answer the door.

In my case it is nearly always a friend not foe.

We don't live on a main road or a rough area. We are tucked out of the way and rarely get chugger or unwanted callers. In real life most people do answer (in my experience), but I live in a low crime and friendly area. We take in parcels for each other and sometimes nip down to the pub with our neighbour friends.

I live in a different world to most of the posters on here.

I consider it the height of rudeness to rock up at someone’s door and expect them to speak to you.

Wow. It must be exhausting to get offended over this.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to in your own home op. If randoms knock, you have no obligation to them.

It's not unreasonable, it's sensible.

I never answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.