To not answer the door if I don’t know who it is?

[BluntJadeCritic]

I always feel anxious when someone knocks or rings the doorbell, and if I don’t recognise them, I just ignore it. People I know say it could be a friend/family member, or even an emergency, but that seems unlikely. With so many stories about door-to-door salespeople or worse, I feel justified. AIBU for prioritising my comfort and safety over potentially disappointing someone on the other side?

Do what makes you feel comfortable, don't worry about what others think x

I look out the upstairs window and if I don’t know them I don’t answer the door. Just because someone knocks on it I don’t have to answer it! Especially when I’m home alone!

i don’t answer the door unless i know who it is but that’s because i’m being harassed. i did have a ring door bell but it needed charging constantly despite claiming the charge lasted months needed charging every 2 weeks so i stopped bothering

That's why I have a ring camera you can talk through and to avoid the jehovas witnesses who knock in every Friday between 11 - 11.30am without fail.

I have one of those notices. People still knock. When I say people, I mean men. Offering to fix the gutter or clean the driveway. They get very abusive when I point to the sign.

I always answer the door. If someone’s scouting to rob my home I want them to know someone’s home and for them to bugger off.

I didn't earlier but there was a strong reason for that, I was dozing and didn't quite wake up properly.

If it makes you anxious as pp have said get a camera

We get men who have recently been let out of prison coming round selling stuff, when you say you aren’t interested they shout abuse at you. It just isn’t safe so I only answer if I know I’m due a delivery or something. You should do what you feel comfortable with, don’t take risks to appease other people.

I always ignore my front door and I have no shame in doing so. An example of why I don’t happened a few days ago..

I thought a family member was knocking at the door at 8:40pm because they didn’t have their keys but when I opened it there was two charity workers trying to make small talk with me. Another one saw I was stood at the door and made a beeline over. I was a bit rude and bluntly asked them what they wanted as they kept trying to make idle chat without telling me who they were or what they wanted. I shut the door on them.
Almost 9pm is far too late and I will be short with whoever is knocking at my door.

Get a video door bell, we've an eufy and it's fantastic, you can check from your phone who's at the door and you can talk to them through your phone and you can hear them back . We got it because I can't always make it to the door in time if dealing with youngest.

😀

I answer the door, because I live in a society. I take people's parcels if they're not home and deliver them myself later. There are Jehovah's witnesses that live opposite and they come to talk to me about God sometimes and I'm as atheist as people come but I can be civil and respectful enough not to ignore them. People visit when they want to, usually texting before but it's okay if not.

(I think some people would prefer never to have unsolicited human contact but I'm good with hearing boisterous kids next door and the balls coming over the fence, we don't mind when the neighbours do karaoke in the garden when the weather's nice. I've helped bump start cars and pump tyres up. I've received easily as much back. I'm alright with all of it, grateful for it even.)

YANBU at all!!

I'm hone alone most days with my baby.

I look out of my top floor window to see who's at the door at every knock. If I don't know you, I am not opening the door. If DH is here, I'm less cautious but still won't answer the door without checking first.

What if someone secretly enters you in to the Postcode lottery 😱

It's perfectly normal for people to not answer the door if they're not expecting anyone. I know many people who don't.

Single women on their own in the house, and especially elderly women, as they could be attacked... And also single elderly men are a bit vulnerable too... (Older people are more vulnerable to scams and cons, or someone trying to push their way in.) They are told in no uncertain terms by Neighbourhood Watch, and Carers and Health Visitors, and GPs, and the like, to NOT OPEN THE DOOR if they are not expecting anyone.

Also people who work from home don't answer the door either, because they're bloody working. They wouldn't be able to answer if they were in the office would they?!

Only on Mumsnet is it classed as 'weird' to not answer the door when you are not expecting anyone. In real life, most people don't answer, (when they're not expecting anyone) because of all the reasons mentioned, like scammers at the door, salesmen, people trying to ditch people parcels on you, and energy companies and charities bothering you.

And some of these people are very pushy, and some people are vulnerable and easily lead, and not very assertive, and can easily get pushed around and scammed. Some people sign up to things they don't want to sign up to. I have heard many tales of older people signing up to a dozen charities and giving £100 a month that they can't afford, because they're too nice and a bit gullible, and afraid, and are easily taken in by peoples patter.

Also, there are many tales of people being conned by fake 'tradesmen' offering to fix a roof tile or 2 for £50, and then 'finding' more work that needs doing, and charging them £700 for it, or much more in some cases. And then there's the 'tarmac your drive' scam, and the 'we'll trim your conifers' scam.

Yes yes I KNOW not all older people are not like this, but some are! And it's not just older people who fall for doorstep scams and pressure sales either.

So people can jog on with this 'meh you're a weirdo for not answering the door to anyone and everyone' bullshit! And the oh-so-totes-hilarie' sarcastic comments! 🙄

One time someone claiming to be from Virgin media knocked at my door three times in one day.

1st time I said no thank you not interested
2nd time he asked if I’d changed my mind and if anyone else would be interested
3rd asked if he come in and use my toilet

I saw red and told him to fuck off and never come back to my door.

Ive also had charity workers try to force me to sign up to their monthly payments that refused to take no for an answer.

I was very young looking at the time and they made me feel uneasy but that had stuck with me so I don’t tend to trust them. I have zero interest in the shit they are selling.

Is saying "no thank you" to charity workers and closing the door really so awful?

Get a camera doorbell. In addition to being able to see who it is, they have a microphone, so you can even check what someone wants without opening the door!

I know, not sure why so many people are so opinionated on when and who we answer the door to.

We get this too!! Same thing with the abuse. Which is why I absolutely will not open the door without checking who's there first. It's very intimidating and I feel vulnerable, even more so with baby in arms x

I think these threads encourage unhealthy behavior.

And to be honest OP, if you've spent more than 10 minutes on MN, you'll know there are a lot of people like this.

They tend to feed each other's anxiety, so if that's what you're after you're in the right place.

I sometimes ignore if I'm in pyjamas, unwell or house is a mess, I've definitely pretended not to be home before. But would mostly awnser the door otherwise.

The subject attracts obsessed weirdos. I have no idea why.

It's your house, your door. I had never heard of someone not answering their door, bar a person with a mental health issue, until I came onto mumsnet. But at the end of the day, do what suits you? Who cares what I or other people you don't know think.

I always answer the door because it makes me laugh when I open it to find the person who knocked standing by the gate looking worried because my two huge dogs go berserk at the knocking.