To not answer the door if I don’t know who it is?

[BluntJadeCritic]

I always feel anxious when someone knocks or rings the doorbell, and if I don’t recognise them, I just ignore it. People I know say it could be a friend/family member, or even an emergency, but that seems unlikely. With so many stories about door-to-door salespeople or worse, I feel justified. AIBU for prioritising my comfort and safety over potentially disappointing someone on the other side?

I love these threads, people are so bonkers about this topic 🤣
I generally answer the door unless I’m busy - although I have had a couple of occasions this year where people have caught “my dog” in the road and are triumphantly trying to return it to me/give me a lecture on not looking after my pets properly. I don’t own a dog! One particular woman just wouldn’t accept it wasn’t my dog and tried to push it into my house while telling me that “of course it’s your dog!”
Cue the real owner emerging from the public footpath across the road, red faced and apologetic, cursing the escapee. When faced with the reality this bonkers woman made him show her pictures of the dog on his phone before she would hand it over, so convinced she was that the dog was mine!!!
I defo should have ignored that knock 🤣

Dear @fridaynight1

I thought you might like to know there are flames coming out of your upstairs windows.

Kind regards,
Optimist1

Every time this comes up, I'm amazed at the inability of some grown women to answer the door, and say 'no thank you' and then close it, if it's a sales person or a JW.
I manage to do it, and even throw in an apologetic smile.

My time isn't so precious that I can't spare the 30 seconds it takes to get up off the sofa, go to the door and come back again.

Indeed. But again, we’re on a forum where a significant minority of posters are very low-energy and misanthropic, so I suppose just indicative.

I saw this online yesterday, and it reminded me of what Mners misuse ‘introversion’ to mean.

You are exactly the reason why I wouldn’t answer my door! Travel sick kids? You knock on someone’s door whom you don’t know because your child puked? Bizarre.

It is not inability, anxiety, nervousness, laziness etc it is a firm decision that I cannot be bothered engaging with people that I don’t want to engage with. It is self care in my book. I have more respect for someone who makes a choice like that than those who feel like they have no choice but to open the door to any Tom, Dick or Harry who decides to knock because they HAVE to. I don’t even have to do an apologetic smile!

@Optimist1 in a situation like that you wouldn't be just politely knocking on a door - you'd be hammering on it shouting loudly "FIRE FIRE.....YOUR HOUSE IN ON FIRE".
Even the most introverted people would respond to that.

This is all good. You wouldn't start a discussion on whether your were being unreasonable then as you are confident in your decision.
OP is wondering whether she is BU.

She’s not. Hope she has the confidence now not to bother.

I always answer the door, when I notice someone is at the door (doorbell doesn't work and it can be hard to hear someone knocking on the outer door), on the rare occasion it's a sales person I just say no thanks I'm not interested or pretend I don't understand the language. When its the JWs I enjoy a spirited debate. Once it was the police bringing DD home at 3am - would have been bad if I hadn't answered the door then!

Yes I did, and they happily gave me cleaning products to get us somewhat sorted so we could continue our journey. Neither pukey child nor any splattered puke went anywhere near them but they really helped us out that day when we were far from home. Most people are lovely and helpful. I'd happily do the same for someone else.

You knocked on a strangers door for cleaning products to clean sick? Find a bloody shop!

Where did I say that I do it because I HAVE to? I do it because it's in my interests to see whether it's something that benefits me. Or it might be one of my neighbours needing some help.

You HAVE to to see if it benefits you whereas I don’t care.

Yes, we were on a motorway in the middle of nowhere and had to stop because we had two very upset young children, one of whom was covered in sick. No nearby shops. Would you really begrudge someone in that situation a few cloths and dettol wipes? I don't understand that kind of attitude tbh.

Someone lives in a house on the motorway?

Sorry, it's an A road in that section, motorway the rest of the way. We took the first turn, which turned out to be onto a farmyard.

But again, it's not about the particulars, it's about the small gestures where we help one another that make the world go around.

Why are you asking? You seem perfectly happy with it why do you need the opinion of others?

Nah, that is not a life or death situation to knock on a stranger’s door to ask for cleaning products. Drive on a find a shop.

It doesn't need to be life or death, sometimes people are just happy to help.

(We did send them chocolates afterwards, but given we had to just guess their address on Google earth who knows if they got them.)

That was a nice gesture to send the chocolates. I just would never dream of knocking on a stranger’s door if my child had been sick but then again, I would hate the interaction plus I would assume they wouldn’t like it because I don’t which wouldn’t be the case because it’s obvious some people would not mind.

So I actually take that back, I was assuming for others on the basis of how I feel. I should not have said it was wrong but it would be wrong for me.

Just remember that some day you may well need the kindness of a stranger, whether life or death or otherwise.

Most people don’t require a ‘life and death situation’ to open the door.

No, I choose to.