To not answer the door if I don’t know who it is?

[BluntJadeCritic]

I always feel anxious when someone knocks or rings the doorbell, and if I don’t recognise them, I just ignore it. People I know say it could be a friend/family member, or even an emergency, but that seems unlikely. With so many stories about door-to-door salespeople or worse, I feel justified. AIBU for prioritising my comfort and safety over potentially disappointing someone on the other side?

I knock on doors for work sometimes. People don’t open them surprisingly often. I’m not selling stuff, I’m there to chat about bins or to deliver special bin bags ( that have been requested). I quite often end up calling to say I’m on the doorstep and ask if there’s a safe place to leave them and someone comes to the door. I think people are quite nervous about cold callers.

I have a sticker on the door saying no sales people or religious groups please and they still knock. I have a video doorbell now so if I don't know who it is I'll just use that

I have noticed that. Soooo many people on Mumsnet are absolutely obsessed with telling people that they're utter weirdos if they don't answer the door to every random fucker who knocks it!

Why do these people care, if other people don't answer the door? How is it affecting them. I don't care if they DO answer the door, so bore off with commenting on me NOT answering it.

I know exactly what you mean OP - unless it's Halloween night or I'm expecting a visitor or a delivery my heart sinks.

Chuggers, Jehovah's witnesses, canvassers, floggers of all kinds of tat in a suitcase, and 'we just happened to be in your area and we noticed your guttering needs cleaning ... '

I try to never answer door if not expecting someone, or it’s not a delivery.

I have never unexpectedly had a good experience answering to an unexpected door knocker.

Fake charity beggars of all sorts (real ones don’t go door to door)
Political party weirdos
Someone looking for someone … most recent was an older woman asking “there were some gays who lived near and another house said you might know them”. That was a door slam - what a rude thing!! I would have been more kind if they said a persons name, but “gays”? How would I know who the neighbors are shagging?

I found out because I made the mistake of mentioning that I don't answer the door. It was cat nip to absolute mentalists who accused me of being unable to function as an adult and children should be kept away from me.

I'm with you OP, my eufy doorbell is a godsend. I don't answer the phone either. Just can't be arsed with it.

Well if you don't answer, you won't know who it is! My eldest ds and his partner are like you - never answer,

So when i send them a parcel, i always get a photo of it sitting outside their door. And then i have to call them to tell them there's a parcel from me outside!! Mad!

I always answer my door. I have to anyway or the dogs won't stop barking. If i lived in a dodgy area i'd put a chain on or something. But i would always answer.

This!

Oh the irony!!

YABU & rude.

answer your door, don't answer your door-none of us actually care, but YOU asked

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Whenever I hear about a child/woman who has escaped a kidnap/domestic violence situation and manages to get to a neighbours, I always think, thankfully she wasn't surrounded by MNers.
There was a story told on here, by a woman in the late stages of pregnancy, who had a fall, the neighbour ignored her little girl knocking and by the time someone walked past and got help, the baby had died. I think that you should at least look out and see who it is. I've never forgotten the story of a homeless woman who gave birth on Christmas Eve and went house to house, the baby froze to death before someone opened the door.

I had to knock on my neighbours door last week because the house on the other side of them was on fire and they didn't realise.

Ignore at your own risk.

There are many times I answered my door and wished I hadn't.

I have no idea why anyone would care at all that you don't feel comfortable answering your own front door.

I have health struggles which make me feel vulnerable and I just don't want to deal with anyone knocking unexpectedly. All my delivery drivers knock then just leave the parcel on the doorstep. ( It's in the sticks)

Absolutely normal behaviour to not answer your front door on Planet Mumsnet. Real world not so much.

On a serious note can you seek help for your anxiety?

I used to be the type who always answered the door.
After a lot of bad experience doing that and peoples inability to accept ‘no thank you’ (salespeople) or ‘ lovely to see you but unfortunately now is not convenient as we are going out’, but had them barge past me into my house anyway (from people I know) I now no longer open my door unless I’m expecting the person. I check on the security camera.
I think it’s one of those things that’s down to personal life experiences. I’ve encountered too many CFs on my doorstep.
I think in an emergency most people would shout through the door/letterbox. Then I would answer.

Nope. If I am not expecting someone I don’t open the door. Don’t care who it may be.

@ twangy. I dog sit & regularly one large Labrador, he is as soft as clarts, but he has a big bark if you give him the secret command, then give him another spoken command. so you look well in control when he sits right next to you quietly with a toothy bitching resting face. It's great at the door & on walks if you feel a little unnerved.

they don't know their only risk is being licked to death.

If it’s during the day, and you don’t think it’s a ‘door knocker’ just answer. If it is a salesman, give a quick ‘no thank you’ and shut the door. And dont feel bad for doing it.

@AutumnLeaves24 Exactly, they're more likely to get drowned in drool than torn apart 🤣

OP- you sound perfectly reasonable to me.
You have explained that it's only the unknown callers that you avoid.
I was the same when I lived alone, and I wouldn't worry about other peoples opinion... what's good for them, ain't necessarily good for you.
Same with phone calls where I don't recognise the number.
IF the call was important, they can leave a voicemail.
Please just do what make you feel safe and happy.
You're not breaking any laws.
You take care of you....

I am tempted to stop answering unless I know I have a delivery coming after a couple of weeks ago when three separate lots of irritating people came trying to sell stuff. Really annoying if you work from home and it interrupts you in the middle of something.

Get a video doorbell, then you can view who it is before you decide whether to open it or not.

I never answer the door to unknown callers. I consider it the height of rudeness to rock up at someone’s door and expect them to speak to you. It’s nothing to do with anxiety and everything to do with choosing who I want coming to my home. If they want to see me, they can make an appointment.