Would you be disappointed if your teenage daughters wore barely any clothes posing on social media

[Suchafaffputtingaduveton]

Or do all the teen girls do this now?

I have a friend with two older teenage daughters, gorgeous looking girls, known them since they were little. Their Instagram pages are full of nearly naked pics, very provocative poses and videos. In the bio they are digital creators.
In all honesty, I find it a bit disappointing as they were smart, driven girls when younger. My dd is still young and i’m not being judgmental as who knows, she may go the same way, is it bad to really hope not and hope that I can
steer her in a different/better direction?

Not at all.

I am shocked by pictures my early 20s nieces post on their social media... and I'm not easily shocked in life.

Yanbu, but they will think that they "own" their choices.

@omega4ever I’ve actually put a sort of block thing on now so I don’t see the pics, but haven’t unfollowed as I just find it uncomfortable. They are lovely looking, but they also were so much more than that. My friend is an ambitious, high achiever. I realise as a parent, you’d support them, but I do wonder if she ever says anything to them or feels a bit disappointed

I’m with you @Suchafaffputtingaduveton , I really dislike this trend.

I have no idea what some parents are thinking, the internet is full of predators.

It is the fashionable thing to do now. If they are 18/19 not a lot you can do.

If they are 13 you can come down like a ton of bricks.

They are older-19/20, but its been for like that for a while. There’s nothing a parent can do at that age really, its just sad to see and to think this is what they see their worth as

Maybe blame social media for normalising it?

Lol ‘blame social media’
What’s the address I should post the letter to please?
Dear The Internet,
I’m writing to you to express my extreme disappointment… etc.

Actually, don’t worry, I think I’ll pop outside and shout at some passing clouds instead.

I would be so disappointed.
I would try to explain to them why it is such a bad idea.

Even better, I get my young (yes, and beautiful) friend who works in HR, to tell them, as she is not much older, but she knows how much employers look at social media when recruiting, and what most employers would think.

Sorry, forgot to answer this bit

Or do all the teen girls do this now?

No

I’m just wondering if she says anything to them 🤷🏻‍♀️ I would find it v uncomfortable seeing my dd with nothing on, pouting and doing stripper type dances 😬 she even likes some of the posts

I honestly wish social media didn’t exist.
I remember the days when they were trying to stop page 3 in The Sun even though the models were paid, now they give the whole lot away for free for ‘likes’.

Do you think topless teenagers belong in newspapers?

Banning page 3 was absolutely the right thing to do. Petra 18, was just as likely to be Sam 16, or even 15 stripping off her school uniform with a count down to the 'big reveal' on her 16th birthday. It was also fully accessible to anyone who chose a tabloid, in trains, in the office, on coffee tables, completely normalised. There was no way of knowing then that if we cut off this particular form of sexual exploitation of school girls, like hydra, more and more would appear in its place.

There is something a bit weird and judgy about your tone. There are all kinds of ways in which our kids can not turn out the way we expect. There are loads of reasons why high achieving school kids might not turn into high achieving adults. Our young adult kids could be all kinds of things we wouldn't choose for them - depressed, anxious, abusive, addicted, overworked, lonely. We can't protect them from pain and we have increasingly little influence over their choices as they get older.

We don't get to choose how our kids turn out. Some of their life choices are down to our parenting, many are not. Parading on the internet in scanty clothes is not great - but there are lots of things they could be doing that would be worse.

I wonder if you are trying to reassure yourself this can't happen to your child? Because she almost certainly will make decisions you disapprove of, and if she didn't, that could be a sign she was still dependent on your approval, which would not be healthy. Parenting young adults is really hard, but I'm sure you'll adapt, be there for her and support her, even if it doesn't turn out quite as you hoped.

Most under 18s have phones with internet access. You'd be a strict and out of touch parent indeed to prevent your teenager from having a phone.
Many teenagers have weekend jobs and can buy their own clothes. Again, not poor parenting.
Internet access + skimpy (fashionable) clothing + enormous amounts of societal pressure can lead to poor choices by teenagers.
As parents we can advise but, the older our kids get, the less we can enforce.
Let's stop blaming parents for everything. It can be a bloody hard world to navigate, for us and for our kids.

I would guess she knows if she says anything she gets blocked and then she has no idea what they're up to.

When they're 18 and over there's not much you can do or say without sounding judgy and even hurtful.

Not all 18 year olds but they do wear very little going out.so it's not surprising it's on their socials.

My dd and her friends wear a lot more now going out, even full length skirts and coats, in their early twenties than when they were 18/19.

I’d be disappointed in myself as a parent not to have instilled a better work ethic and ambition to do things that have nothing to do with beauty or looks in my daughters

“I’m not being judgemental but…” is being judgemental! That is what I teach my teenage girls, and I’ve also taught them they can wear whatever they please. Surely we’ve moved on from this crap? And what does the fact that they are “gorgeous” girls have to do with anything?

You said they are 19/20. They are adult women, they can do what they please.