Would you be disappointed if your teenage daughters wore barely any clothes posing on social media

[Suchafaffputtingaduveton]

Or do all the teen girls do this now?

I have a friend with two older teenage daughters, gorgeous looking girls, known them since they were little. Their Instagram pages are full of nearly naked pics, very provocative poses and videos. In the bio they are digital creators.
In all honesty, I find it a bit disappointing as they were smart, driven girls when younger. My dd is still young and i’m not being judgmental as who knows, she may go the same way, is it bad to really hope not and hope that I can
steer her in a different/better direction?

I know that it is none of my business what other children do and so no I wouldn't judge others, especially as these are adults.

But I have 2 teenage daughters right now and they are 15 and if they posted anything like that, I would be worried, but not disappointed, if it is as extravagant as you have made it out to be. They do need to stay safe on the Internet. But if they want to post those pictures, that is their choice and I know they are lovely, bright girls either way! It's a bit sad you think that they "were" smart, driven girls. It's their own choice and they are not 13 so a very different age of teenagers. I'm not saying I wouldn't try and discourage them because I don't think it is necessary to post in the poses you have described but if they are wearing a revealing outfit for a party, who am I to stop them from posting if it is just a normal pose. It really depends on the picture tbh but I would never judge what other children are doing

They. Are. Adults.

Relax your hand away from the pearls.

But 12 year olds are doing this too. It’s the culture. Depressing

@TriangleLight Its really depressing

It feels like we are hurtling backwards tbh.

Yes I would be. But she's never going to do that - in fact she's never posted a pic of herself on social media at all.

@KimberleyClark I know…

My DD is definitely not like this. She thinks it’s degrading. The most she’ll reveal is a tiny bit of tummy in a crop top (literally an inch 😂) She will wear a shorter skirt but not really short and never low cut tops. She only wears eye mak-up and lip gloss. She’s got a fab figure but it’s mostly covered and although I’m obviously biased, she gets so many offers of dates and I swear it’s because she actually looks normal.

My daughter did that for a while- to me it was repulsive and disappointing, but ultimately not serious. She is completely different now (aged 23)- still wears clothes and makeup that I think misrepresent her.

It doesn't mean to them what it means to us. We have to accept that.

I pointed out that they are wank fodder for some really repulsive people. It stopped it.

Yes I would be deeply saddened at my DD objectifying herself like this. I don’t think it makes me anti-feminist to object to seeking out the male gaze. They aren’t your friends.

Two attractive adult females wear clothes smaller than other adult females and post photos online.

It’s a complete non-event and I think you’re being massively judgmental. If I was your ‘friend’ and I found out you’d judged my daughters for wearing clothes of their choosing, you’d find yourself without my friendship very quickly.

I actually think @Suchafaffputtingaduveton is just being honest. Which some on here aren’t.

It would be natural to be judgmental of people‘s life choices (and these are life choices because the photos will haunt them in their careers/personal lives forever). I’ve known at least two young women who have serious regrets about photos they’ve posted. And whose careers have been hampered by it.
As a parent you want your daughter to make choices which are progressive and strong. Not regressive and capitulating to this social media bullshit.

My eldest is 17 and I’d be so upset, and yes disappointed and I am lucky as she doesn’t do this. She learned that she didn’t want her face/body on sm at all and I had to do parental removal requests for TikTok etc and none of that was sexual stuff.
I am glad she’s out of it and yes I would be very upset to know she was doing that kind of thing.

Everyone always says online is forever but it’s not. You can remove photos and they then become yesterday’s news.
You’re only young once. I think they should enjoy looking hot and attractive whilst they can. Before long they’ll have boyfriends, jobs, kids and doing this sort of thing will no longer be appealing.

I think it depends on the school and their friends as much as the parents
My kids went to a very strict catholic school..the amount of homework kept them very busy ,as did clubs I drove them to.
No one in their circle was posting pics in underwear,and school would of had a fit .
All adults with good jobs now ,

Yes. Very important we keep referring to them as 'adult women' isn't it? Makes basement Bernard ogling them sound so much better than the equally correct 'teenagers' or 'school girls'. Men's desire to view the bodies of extremely young women doesn't trump the right of their mothers to have an opinion. To get them to explore what exactly is empowering to them in being leered at by men, the majority of whom would no doubt be sexually repulsive to the young women if they could see them. To ask them to explain what about this makes them feel powerful and special, given creepy men leer at women anyway and don't need them to be unique or go to effort.
No amount of attempts to belittle me with stupid names or accusations would make me a silent facilitator of men who wanted sexual gratification from viewing my teen daughter.

I wouldn’t be disappointed but I’d definitely be worried.

I believe their choices are influenced by male gaze and what men tell them is attractive

Is that free choice? No one forces them to wear skimpy clothes, but we should look at the reasons why they make these decisions

Yes I would be extremely disappointed. Mostly in myself as a parent, as I'd feel I had failed to protect them from the influence of these awful trends and failed to encourage them to develop an actual personality.

It's one of the worst things I could imagine as a parent in terms of ways my kids might turn out. I would hate it.

I’d be disappointed and concerned. It’s a grim world out there and I don’t think they realise that a lot of the time.

How does your judgemental attitude help anyone?

With respect, she knows what 'represents' her better than anyone else and is allowed to try different things.

My sister's children have done this since they were very early teens, and their accounts are not private. When I mentioned my concerns to my family, I was laughed and shouted at. (Well, called all sorts of names actually!) The internet is a dangerous place. My daughter barely even posts day to day photos on her private account, as she is very aware of the dangers, employers checking etc.

This thread immediately brought to mind karen brady and her daughter.
Gorgeous looking girl who posts practically naked on social media. Career driven mum, clearly very clever and has done brilliantly.
I always wonder what she makes of her daughters career. Im sure she is very supportive on the outside, but she must be gutted on the inside.