Would you be disappointed if your teenage daughters wore barely any clothes posing on social media

[Suchafaffputtingaduveton]

Or do all the teen girls do this now?

I have a friend with two older teenage daughters, gorgeous looking girls, known them since they were little. Their Instagram pages are full of nearly naked pics, very provocative poses and videos. In the bio they are digital creators.
In all honesty, I find it a bit disappointing as they were smart, driven girls when younger. My dd is still young and i’m not being judgmental as who knows, she may go the same way, is it bad to really hope not and hope that I can
steer her in a different/better direction?

SO. MUCH. THIS. I'm a bit surprised at the Victorian attitudes to young women's clothes and bodies in this thread. I don't for one second think that these young women are in any way less high achieving just because they choose to pose in cute outfits on their socials. I just hope they keep a couple for posterity to remind them of their glory days when they're older, greyer and more affected by gravity 😂

It’s part of a culture where young girls go to school with their arse cheeks on view. And twelve year olds pose and say sexy. And get their tongues and belly buttons pierced.

It’s not “cute outfits”

“Disappointed in myself as a parent” dear god!

Mine do this sometimes mid / late teen their mates all seem to. It’s posing about on beaches / in
pools rather than overtly sexual. I don’t love it but don’t chalk it up as a personal failure!

Maybe they have listened to
Moira Rose on Schitts creek!

I was recently at a Halloween party in a local town and I was shocked to see young girls of what looked like 14 and 15 in tiny hot pants and suspenders in the pretence of it being a Halloween costume. It’s worrying really.

I'm all for girls wearing what they want and expressing themselves. I can't help finding it a bit depressing, though. You don't see teenage boys posing nearly naked in a sexual way or wearing clothes that accentuate their arses and crotches.
Why is it that girls want to do this and boys don't? That's what we need to ask ourselves.

English mums are funny about this dds friends mums from other countries (US/Brazil/Russia) have a “if you’ve got it flaunt it” mentality !

Not all other countries, I can assure you. I have friends and family from places including Greece, Spain, Portugal,Germany, Finland, France, India. They've all commented to me on the fact that British girls fo around "Half naked". They ask me why on earth they want to expose so much flesh.

I recently watched “I am Ruth” with Kate Winslet and her daughter, apart from the brilliant acting, it was a hard watch about a teenager and social media. Highly recommend.

It's possible to be bright, smart and driven and also post nearly nude pics on the internet.

It's a curious form of objectification to reduce your nieces in this way.

If they're over 18...let them do what they want.

It’s pretty obvious why they do it they want boys to fancy them and girls to admire them and that’s what they see being admired in our culture. ‘Twas ever thus. I have sympathy with well meaning parents of teen girls because believe me it is HARD!!!

My ds is 15 and practically all the girls in his year group do this and have been for at least the last year. Ds is completely bewildered by it, he won't follow any of them now -most of the boys don't. He doesn't understand why they want to do it. Apparently there are loads of dramatic arguments at school between the girls over their videos and photos, who didn't "like" whose, who left a nasty comment etc.. It's becoming a full time job for the pastoral team dealing with it all.

To those thinking its just dressing up or standing smiling on a night out, its much more than that what i’m talking about. The strip style type dances, the captions, movements, pouts etc. I could have never been that sexy at that age (or now!) Bit sad the way things have changed so much

Yes mine is 16 going on 25 and I know I get judged! But she is lovely kind fun and gorgeous so going in huffing and puffing seems counter productive and relationship damaging. Also we get called an anti feminists as women can do what they want apparently.

Me and my husband regularly express shock at what young girls are wearing around our local town, and we're both young and not prudes! My mam would have tanned my hide if I'd have worn the things they do or acted as they do on social media 😅

How would you deal with it op out of interest? Do you have a 16 year old girl?

It's the posting on social media aspect though thats a bit different.

What is the difference between a pornagraphic image and a posed image a 20 year old has put online 'exploring her desirability'

The problem is, they won't always have sexy young bodies. If they're defining their worth by this admiration, they will be in for a shock when, by the shallow standards of the sort of person who likes ogling teenagers, they become 'old and unsexy'.

It's monetised.

I think it’s fine to be a bit judgemental. If there was no such thing as social judgment we’d all be brawling naked in the streets. It serves a purpose.

I think parenting is really important in cases like this. When they’re 19 you can’t forbid it but if you’ve spent their childhood instilling the right values (including a degree of respect for your opinion), they are less likely to do it.

I have twin teens and monitor their socials. They all cover their faces for posts. They're a bit younger though. They don't want a digital footprint. The message has well and truly got through but I think there is a group in the middle for whom it was all so new and exciting they got carried away and don't realise the implications of their posts.

It isn't the women expressing concern who are objectifyng these young women, is it? They know their neices and daughters are more than just bodies for men to leer at, hence pointing out their intelligence and other qualities. Problem is, creepy men ogling them couldn't care less about those qualities, they're just a body and an object to them, and it's that that many of us find distasteful and concerning. We don't want men to look at our daughters and see nothing but a body existing for their pleasure, and for that to be their primary value, and by extension the value of all women. This isn't or shouldn't be about women attacking women. It's about women objecting to a practise and trend that we believe is harmful to us all. The game not the player.

Also saying it’s fine because it’s ‘their choice’ is really problematic imo. Firstly because it’s obviously not an entirely free choice, it’s a choice influenced by culture, capitalism, upbringing etc. Second because other people’s choices affect all of us in shaping our culture. Thirdly and possibly mostly importantly, because more and more choice and freedom is not an unequivocal good. There are downsides to more freedom, the most obvious being that it actually doesn’t always make people happier. Restrictions and obligations contribute to our wellbeing.

19/20 year olda aren't school girls FFS. Stop infantalising them