Would you make space for a family with a disabled child on a train?

[UnbeatenMum]

AIBU to think that most people would see a disability pushchair with a child who is around 6-7 and realise the child is disabled? So if they don't make space for you on a train it's not because they haven't realised? We travelled on several trains during half term and our experience was quite mixed. Ended up with his pushchair half blocking the aisle on two occasions because no one moved for us (in the wheelchair section, all non-wheelchair users or their suitcases or baggage taking up the space). My son was fine but I had to sit on the floor and then get him off the train without help because the rest of the family had walked up the train to find seats. AIBU or would I have had a better experience if he had a wheelchair? I should say a couple of people did offer us a seat but overall it wasn't great.

I’d move of course

i think you’ve just got be confident to ask/tell people to move

I think people are selfish and thoughtless. I would clock a disability pushchair, my husband is less aware. I gave him a nudge recently to offer to help a woman with a pushchair and another child on/off the train.

I would definitely move. Did you not have passenger assistance helping you?? They are usually pretty good if you book them in advance. Also trains aren't very disabled friendly, I use a frame and there is never any space for it.

Get a badge that says 'please treat this pushchair as a wheelchair', that's what we did.

Sorry you had not so good experiences.
Part of the problem is that our trains are so overcrowded and some folk just go into 'everyone for themselves mode'. In a ideal world there would always be space for a wheelchair user in the disabled section. 👍

I use a disability pushchair. Most people don't realise it has the same rights as a wheelchair. Which I gladly told the bus driver who tried to move me and my son for a wheelchair.

If there was luggage in the wheelchair space, I would have asked people to move it.

As to whether I would have moved: on local trains, yes, definitely. On the main line where pretty much everyone has reserved seats, no, assuming I was sat in my pre-reserved seat.

I think you'd need to say, "make space wheelchair coming through". And ask those in the wheelchair spaces to move politely.

People will assume it's a large pushchair with a quick glance especially those who've not around kids much. Everyone is on their phones these days and hard to see past people.

I should say DS can walk, he has mild CP and just uses the pushchair for distance. So I've never asked for passenger assistance because he can walk on and off the train if I hold his hand. Maybe I should next time though. I don't mind asking people to move but I felt like my children would be more embarrassed by me doing that than by us just blocking the aisle. If we hadn't been able to fit in at all I definitely would have asked. Also DS had his pushchair to sit in and I'm able bodied so I didn't feel quite right asking people to give up a seat for me when it's not me who's disabled and you don't really know other people's circumstances. I agree that trains aren't very disability friendly in this country!

I don't think you are unreasonable to expect the disabled area to be available for your disabled child. 100% is someone was sitting in that area they should have moved, same if there was space to put their luggage elsewhere.

But my experience in UK trains is that you have very limited options for luggage, so it depends very much on the circumstances.

No reserved seats, we were on each train for about 30 minutes but some people would have been going further.

I ask people to move bags if there is nowhere to sit. They haven't paid for a ticket for their bag, so my need is greater than theirs (blue badge holder). It is shocking that people don't move their bags though as the train starts to fill up. It is selfish to want people to stand rather than move their bag.

Your children shouldn't be embarassed by you asking, it shows them that you do need to stand up for yourself when others are being mean.

This sounds good, thanks! Are they available online?

@skyeisthelimit the amount of time's people use the disabled space on a train as a luggage rack is unbelievable

Sorry to hear that you had tricky experiences. Even if your son was using a wheelchair in my experience you would still need to ask people to please move out of the accessible space.

You can pre book assistance and then can get help to board the train with a ramp and help to make space (but that's assuming that the help you request actually arrives)

Yes, I googled it years ago :)

I personally would move for you but unfortunately people nowadays are complete arseholes with no care or thought for others.

Did you ask people to move ?

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/588099181/treat-as-wheelchair-sign-disabled-buggy

Most people wouldn't assume a pushchair on a train meant a family had a disabled child. Especially if your child can walk.

With kindness you can't assume that some of the people you expected to move don't also have hidden disabilities themselves.

YANBU to expect to be able to use wheelchair space though, you might just need to identify the pushchair clearly as a disability pushchair and reserve seating on train journeys/request passenger assistance who will remove luggage if neccessary.

I’d clock a disability pushchair but I’m not sure DH would realise it was a disability aid if I’m honest (although I’m pretty sure he’d move for a pushchair regardless). It’s not especially unusual to see ‘typical’ 5 year olds in pushchairs these days so it can be hard to distinguish. Especially for people who don’t have much experience with kids.

People absolutely should move for you but you might actually need to tell them to.

I think the luggage was on the floor in the wheelchair space, not on the actual seats.

People put their luggage there as there is no where else then become oblivious. Mixture of train company and individual passenger fault.

Unfortunately I think you have to state as loud as possible "can you please move/move your bags for my child's wheelchair". And call for assistance if its a train with a guard.

Yes I would.

I'd say you need to speak up for your son and ask people to move. You can also request travel assistance and they'll help you board/disembark and also ask people to move for you. They can also reserve relevant seating for you if it's available. I have an Assistance Dog and quite often do this. It can be a bit embarrassing though - one time the staff boarded the train with me and yelled at people to move their suitcases out of the disabled seating area so I could sit there with my dog, talk about awkward!

You can ask for assistance here: Passenger Assist | National Rail