Would you make space for a family with a disabled child on a train?

[UnbeatenMum]

AIBU to think that most people would see a disability pushchair with a child who is around 6-7 and realise the child is disabled? So if they don't make space for you on a train it's not because they haven't realised? We travelled on several trains during half term and our experience was quite mixed. Ended up with his pushchair half blocking the aisle on two occasions because no one moved for us (in the wheelchair section, all non-wheelchair users or their suitcases or baggage taking up the space). My son was fine but I had to sit on the floor and then get him off the train without help because the rest of the family had walked up the train to find seats. AIBU or would I have had a better experience if he had a wheelchair? I should say a couple of people did offer us a seat but overall it wasn't great.

With the prices of rail travel what they are, and the fact you can be paying £00s if not £000s for an hours-long journey to find you don't even get a seat, every space on the train becomes fair game.

It's not right, and of course I fully support disabled people (visible or not) to get the spaces they need to be comfortable - but I don't think this is an 'other people' problem, I think it's an 'everyone doing their best in a broken system' problem.

that is the situation on EMR - there is a luggage rack, but it is at the end of the next carriage so you can't keep an eye on it. It drives me absolutely batty.

It quite possible they may not recognise it is a disability pushchair - you may need to say something.

So many other countries you buy a ticket, they designate you a seat. If you are late to buy they will sell you a ticket and you can stand but you know and can choose another service with seats. It’s a ridiculous system in the UK.

Family of 4. I expected people to move and/or move luggage for the disability pushchair (in the wheelchair section), not for us though. It would have been nice if someone able bodied had offered me a seat but that wasn't expected, the pushchair was the main issue.

Train travel is so ghastly these days. I can't stand and use a walking stick, but don't qualify for their disabled pass (have you tried that? It means you can travel as a carer for free and should get priority seats). GWR say they only accept letters from DWP or your GP, and my GP refused because GWR should accept the clinic letters. I gave up in the end.

Anyway, I now just travel first class. It's shit frankly but I can't sit in the aisles any more.

You can’t tell people to move you can ask but you dont know their circumstances

What pass is this? The one I have means I can get a discount and so can someone traveling with me

Yes I think he would qualify for this, thank you.

@Brefugee sounds like we catch the same trains! Luckily it's not often a problem but over half of the times I travel the train only has half the carriages and so even if you reserve a seat, you don't get one....

I have clocked wheelchair-pushchairs before (it's pretty obvious to me, especially when they're motorised/assisted engineering) and of course do the necessary, well aware that the few minutes I see are a snapshot of what's an easy life for me but a difficult one for the user and their parents.

That said, what exactly were you looking for last week? I'm not familiar with UK trains, so I'd like to know if I'm doing something thoughtless where I live without even realising. Do you mean there are sections of the carriage without seats or luggage racks that are labeled for wheelchair users, but people had been using them to stand/out their luggage - and then you wanted that space vacated when you boarded the train? If so, if I'd been standing there myself I wouldn't have hesitated to move if I were standing in that spot, and make my DC do the same. If my luggage were there, tbh I'd have done the mental calculation of where I could move my luggage to, and maybe the wheelchair-pushchair would be better off sticking out in the gangway than my luggage piled precariously above someone's head or something? I don't know what I would have done, truthfully.

While I'm here, I've always second-guessed myself about offering the parent of a wheelchair-bound child my seat. Is it insulting? What if they need to be near the child? Are they exhausted after a day of traveling on public transport with a wheelchair, or is it not that bad and they don't mind? I really am clueless, and could do with some education (please and thank you!).

And my work assume I am able to work on the train if they pay for first class, which might be a reasonable assumption in a functioning system!

Difficult one. If you're travelling off peak then I think 99% of the time people will move. Similarly, if you're travelling during peak times and want to sit in the disabled area, most people will move (or the guard will ask them to).

If though you are travelling at peak times and want to sit in an area not demarcated for disabled travellers, more often than not people will be quite mercenary not just to disabled passengers but to the elderly and families with children too. Trains are already overcrowded on these peak journeys so often I notice during school holidays that people who don't have to travel at these peak times aren't made to feel very welcome.

YANBU...a wheelchair should take place over anything else in a spot allocated for a wheelchair.

I think if you are clear what you want and ask, then most people are more than happy to help. But you cant vaguely look in someone's general direction and expect them to analyse your needs and respond accordingly

I’m not 100% sure I’d recognise your pushchair, or think about you needing to be with the rest of your family for assistance reasons. I’d definitely move if you asked me to though.

It's different for each rail company, unfortunately. You have to see what is available for your local one.

I've been massively pregnant on a train in Birmingham and nobody offered me a seat.
Majority of people are selfish, only occasionally you meet someone polite and thoughtful.

There are luggage racks on the EMR London trains both in and just outside first class?

Sorry you had a bad experience. I would absolutely have moved for you. I think a big part of the problem is that the trains are so poorly designed in the UK and there isn't enough space for everyone or their luggage. I'm overseas and don't have this problem at all, even in rush hour - trains have 2 levels. In this instance I would have asked someone to move. Often people are so absorbed in their phones they are oblivious to everyone around them.
I paid £90 for a return train ticket from London to Cardiff recently. I was travelling with my 3yo & 2 suitcases. We walked the length of the platform looking for an empty seat and gave up and just got onto the last carriage. Managed to fit suitcases on but still no suits for 2 together. Ordinarily I book seats but my flight was delayed into Heathrow so I had to get a later train. I just complained very loudly how wrap the trains are and how there weren't any seats together and a young lady kindly gave up her seat in the priority seats so we could sit together. The problem is there are lots of people travelling alone with bags on seats not wanting anyone to sit down.
There's space for wheelchairs on trains (and rightly so) and there's space for bikes but there isn't any space for prams. When DS was younger every time we took the train we were told to leave the pram in the bike compartment (often no room) and so just had to stand the whole way for a 2hr journey. It's all completely rubbish.

Op you need to book journeycare before you travel, this will reserve the disabled space on the train, staff are then aware of you and your journey and staff help you get on and off the train via a ramp, they know what coach you are on ect

I would move absolutely. Some ppl are just clueless though and don't even notice . I am sure if you asked the vast majority of people they would be only too happy to help . I like to think so anyway .

AIBU to think that most people would see a disability pushchair with a child who is around 6-7 and realise the child is disabled? So if they don't make space for you on a train it's not because they haven't realised?

Depending on the look of the chair, I'm not sure people necessarily would. DD has a friend who has a sister who uses a pushchair with a "please treat my pushchair as a wheelchair" sign and while it is adapted, it doesn't look really any different. Could easily just be a brand of pushchair. She is young though, only 4.
I think there are people who wouldn't really be aware, particularly if not really paying attention.

I've had seats "reserved" for me when using assistance. Except they haven't actually been reserved - they're still showing as available when you look on the screen above the seat

So the child that has the disability was safely in the SN buggy but it was you who didn’t have a seat? It wouldn’t have occurred to me to move in that instance, no.

I opened the thread and thought maybe it was the child who had a disability and people weren’t getting up and offering their seat to them, now that I would obviously do.

I actually have two children with different disabilities and don’t expect anyone to offer me a seat. As long as the people with disabilities are safely seated, I don’t expect anyone to do anything for me. Why would I?