To think this the most pointless, indulgent gap year possible

[Killiam]

Met with some old friends of DHs yesterday, we aren’t close anymore but we have daughters of the same age (17).
We asked what their daughter was planing for after A-levels and they told us she’s going on a gap year, thinking it would be a classic backpacking trip we asked where she would be going and this is what they described

• First Greek island hopping (for fun and independence)
• Then a wellness retreat in either Thailand or Indonesia (self reflection and stress management)
• Then December in New York (Engage with the culture such as visiting museums, enjoy city life (she already lives in London but okay?) and emerge herself in the Christmas spirit)
• January to March at the families ski chalet (take on courses to help with leadership skills, read classical literature and ski)
• Rest of the year in France/Italy/Spain (culture again, cooking classes and wine tasting)

They justified it by saying she has no interest in backpacking and they don’t believe that’s enriching anyway and they feel this is a balanced way to transition her from childhood to adulthood (plans a degree apprenticeship for the following year).
They think these experiences will give her the final touches she needs to be successful after putting a lot of effort into ensuring she is well rounded (sports, music, language, well read and well travelled etc.)

AIBU to think this is more indulgent, pointless, year long luxury holiday of a gap year. I don’t mind gap years in general but this will be entirely funded by her parents and I can’t see what exactly is going to make it so enriching. Of course she need not actually worry as they also mentioned buying her a flat worth over a million and how she will have a job in either of their businesses should she actually want it!

Sorry OP but you’re coming across as an absolute shit.

It sounds like bliss. I wouldn’t want to backpack either.

Got sod all to do with you anyway.

This sounds absolutely amazing good luck to her. Having money doesn't mean she won't know struggles. Anything can happen to anyone money doesn't shield you from the horrible parts of life!

I'd probably be quite envious, as well on having a year long holiday, but I wouldn't agree it was pointless, it sounds amazing. Holidays are usually about having a different experience or break from the norm, however cultured or uncultured they are.
If her parents can buy her a million pound flat then she's probably used to luxury holidays, and this is simply a longer one.
2 of DDs friends are doing gap years. They're working in restaurants/shops in their home town and staying at home, to save up for uni.

You’re nowhere near 18 and it’s not your gap year. Why does what you think about it matter? It’s completely irrelevant. My DD is 20 - she’d adore the year that you describe, the only difference is that this girl is fortunate enough to have the funds to do it with. Sounds like a dream year of travel to me! Not everyone wants to rough it backpacking.

If English is her third language that suggests that her parents are from 2 different countries and have passed on both their languages. If both of those countries are in the EU then saying they are from the EU and the child has spent a lot of her childhood seems like a reasonable abbreviation rather than saying "Italy and Spain" every time.

People have said I’m being too detailed and identifying, so I’ve not mentioned their countries to avoid being accused of that further!

Fair enough. My 17yo won't be having a gap year but if I was wealthy enough I wouldn't object tbh. Nothing lost getting some exposure to other cultures. He does have a part time job whilst studying at school though so he wouldn't want to give the job up! He enjoys earning his own cash.

That's one disadvantage not having work experience whilst globetrotting...

She doesn’t sound like an average teenager. Her parents money obviously brings her a lot of choices and experiences that a normal teen doesn’t get.

Has she expressed an interest in going into politics??! Sorry but you’re digging an even deeper hole and just looking more jealous!!

Sounds amazing. I would love a middle aged gap year like that and I'd love the resources to allow my children that sort of year.

Sounds great! I am sure she will skip the classics and self reflection. Lucky her!

I think it sounds like good fun and don't think its pointless at all.
What I do is pointless is going to university when she's not ready, even if she spent the year working it wouldn't be pointless if she wasn't ready to go.

I know, with detail after detail and being fed by the odd poster who feels the same. Tragic.

How exactly would you have her learn about the "harsher realities of the world"?

It sounds a lot less pointless than the voluntourism trips where MC teens go to Africa and pretend they've built a school/toilet for the locals!

op @Killiam you said your dd isnt doing a gap year becuase You cant afford it
very old fashioned.
many youngsters work hard and save money to support their gap year themselves
aside from that it sounds like something from a book with your friend's plans

Whilst you ‘don’t mind’ gap years, it’s pretty irrelevant. You’re entitled to your opinion, but I honestly don’t think this is anyones business other than the family themselves.

All backpacking gap years are self indulgent though.

You can't see how hopping greek party islands, travelling Europe, doing a ski season, Asian spa retreat and having a NY Xmas would be fun for an 18yr old?

What do you want her to do, be a club rep in magaluf? That sounds like most 18yrs dream year.

It sounds like she'll have a great time, meet some people and enjoy herself before having to become a grown up and work/ pay bills etc. That's exactly what a gap year is for. Why are you so annoyed about people working hard to give their kid a fun time.

Yours isn't even doing one- because you can't afford it- but then you say how this 18yo should be funding her own trip. Why isn't Yours?

I'd read both of those Tolstoy books ehilst still at school FYI, some kids just like reading.

It’s pretty much the equivalent of a ‘finishing year’.

Living in Asia and watching young Brits (and others) get off their faces at full moon parties on their gap year, I'm flummoxed that people consider this enriching. Sure, some of them combine it with poverty tourism and volunteering, but it's a very small number who genuinely do life-changing work.

Surely the point is she is training for her future career - which we're assuming is to take over the company or some such role, in which case being "well rounded" is a relevant skill set. She speaks at least three languages; she's presumably not dumb so why the assumption that she won't eventually be qualified to take over the company she's watched her parents build?

I was reading all that stuff at 18.

that gap year sounds fantastic and much Less indulgent than bumming around Eastern Europe doing nothing with no clear plan / objective or whatever it is you, the gap year police, deem to be suitable.

you sound jealous. I can imagine why because it sounds like an amazing thing they can do for their daughter.

More tedious envy and jealousy. Its none of your business.

Why would she have at 17? It's not like she has done it at 7.