AIBU to talk to my son and tell him the gift was meant just for him?

[BySassyUmberPeer]

My son and DIL have a lovely 2 year old little boy and a 6 month old little girl. I see them about once a week and my DIL is super sweet and absolutely adores my son and is a great mum to both my GC. I sometimes come around and spend time with my DIL and GC over tea. My son has been working hard lately and I wanted to give him a cheque just for him to say I am proud of him as my son and to go towards something special for just himself. Could be anything that he wanted but maybe couldn’t justify spending on himself, ya know? Maybe something for his car or what have you.

The cheque was for $600. Well I received a text later that evening from my DIL that said the following, “thank you so much Allison for the lovely cheque it was completely unnecessary however it is very much appreciated!! Dan and I have been exhausted lately and are looking forward to doing something special for ourselves. I have a spa day scheduled for 2 Saturdays from now I’m looking forward to and Dan is using it towards a guys night.” I feel deep down that my DIL couldn’t just let my son have this for himself she had to have some too because, “well if you get some cash for just yourself I should as well.”

I’m annoyed that a gift that was meant as a special gesture for just my son to recognize his hard work as a father is not all going just forwards him. Women are always taught to treat themselves and it’s ok to do something for themselves. Why is it not ok for men to have a little something for themselves once in a while?

AIBU if I talk to my son about how I meant the gift to be just for him?

I was also wondering if anyone refers to themselves & their OH as a unit?

Right.

Some poster made a ridiculous comment that the wife thanked MIL to be passive aggressive and some nonsense.

If the MIL hadn’t been thanked and she posted that here, numerous posters would be calling the DIL all sorts of bad names.

I am surprised this thread is still here

as there is no way the son would have replied like that

thus the whole thread is a load of bollocks !!!

I don’t believe this is real anymore but if it is then you fucked around and found out. Endless people and the poll told you not to be an arsehole, you listened to the tiny minority who told you to be an arsehole.

Well, all I can say is good luck with the relationship with your dil, now you’ve set it on fire.

A screenshot of the message with names redacted would solve that one.

your own wife the mother of my children and the woman I made vows to but rather not to use it towards necessities such as bills and what not.” My wife and I are a unit and we work together to raise our two children. why would you only want to treat me while ignoring everything my wife does. Does she not deserve to be treated as well

It IS you. This is definitely the same poster as:

• https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5196998-aibu-to-feel-i-should-have-been-invited?page=1

AND

• https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5195027-i-feel-like-an-incubator-for-her-grandchild?page=1

AND

• https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5191973-i-feel-like-emotionally-not-financially-he-puts-his-parents-first?page=1

And there’s at least two more. What is wrong with you?

Not ‘you fucked around and found out’ love it🤣🤣🤣

Anyway OP, you had us in the first half. Jumped the gun with what your son apparently said

Has he inherited your flair for drama, op?
That's a mighty fancy speech, almost as though you said it yourself, really 🤔

Oops look like Mumsnet have banned any links to the Reddit page whoops

I saw you quoted me, but wasn’t fast enough to see what you’d posted before it was deleted. Has this made it to Reddit, then? 🤣🤣🤣

I think that was the OP!

Yep it has! I was saying that you should share your investigation skills on the MN tr0lls page on Reddit😂

If this is right you are truly bizarre OP.

🤣

@Ilovelifeveryverymuch

how bloody rude are you?!

no I'm not the OP,.

Congratulations on ruining your relationship with your DIL. You say you and her get along and you like her, well you’ve screwed that up now. She will no doubt despise you now.

So, are all those threads (2 out of 3 above now deleted) actually written by the MIL? Is this MIL really trying to prise her son away from his wife?

I'm such a simpleton. So confused!

Can’t help but wonder if this is a joke. The son’s reply feels so contrived.

I think despise is a bit much 😂

I’d probably pull this face 😬 then move on

I agree. It sounds like a woman wrote it.

Look I don't care that you don't 'approve' of my advice, I don't exist to please you. But it's my advice which I'm entitled to give.

stop accusing me of being a sock puppet. I'm not, but go and ask MN if you're so bloody convinced.

now leave me alone & stop trying to goad me into breaking the talk guidelines, because try as you might, it's not happening.