To think no one will come to 16 yo bday party

[Florence19791]

DD will be turning 16, she does have any friends but wants to invite some people from school (small class of 5) and from her dance class. We’ve had a look and one place (party boat) does 30 and we could invite the entire dance school and class and hopefully some will come or another place does 10 (trampolining) and we could invite class plus 5 dance friends but would be obvious if no one turns up. WWYD? Any other party ideas welcome. She’s young for her age but wants to fit in too

I would advise against party boat if it has a set time of departure or something
I’m also traumatised by a uni friend’s 21st on a party canal boat in Birmingham with being stuck in close quarters with his am dram friends who were lovely but launched into show tunes, and with warm white wine from a box. It was dark, couldn’t see out of the steamed up windows and it was cramped with no outside area!

I hope she has a lovely birthday
my (ND) dd was having friendship problems around her 14th birthday and didn’t really do anything apart from a sleepover with one friend but we had some nice family celebrations.

That's not what I'm saying really, Im not advising a trampoline party.

My comment was more directed at those comments that are coming across a bit mocking/sneery when they don't seem to have enough awareness to appreciate not all kids are the same.

Trampolining is a very babyish activity for 16 year olds. My almost-8yos would probably think that was a bit babyish as well. My friendship group was doing sleepovers and house parties at that age.

A birthday party isn't the place to magically make friends, and honestly, at 16, she's too old for you to be managing her social circle to this extent as well.

Do a family thing instead - much less stress all round.

Does her school run a prom? If so that will be a nice party to look forward to and you can make a fuss of her with her outfit etc.

Not all kids are the same and you shouldn't judge.

If a child was in a wheelchair I highly doubt you would question their abilities being different from their peers. The OPs daughter is autistic. You can't compare your own experience.

She doesn’t have any friends and she goes to a special school. I’ll be calling up the headteacher and talking to them about creating friendship groups in the school. Maybe the school has a special way of celebrating birthdays. Ask about that.Do not have a birthday party at home, it’s ridiculous, read what you’re written she doesn’t have any friends.

If she goes to a school for ND then they might not be up to a movie or pizza party either. I went to Thorpe Park for my 16th with just my parents and it was the best! You could go trampolining with just the three of you. I did a trampolining party with a high number of ND folk and it wasn't great!

You can't instantly get her friends. And if you're ND you need to make the right sort of friends anyway. Otherwise it's exhausting being someone you are not. I did have parties with friends but usually only a couple and we'd go out for a meal or something like that.

Do you have family friends who have children around same age/bit younger and could do something with them?

I have to say I’m surprised by people saying it’s babyish. Granted, trampoline parks weren’t around back then, but I reckon I’d have had a right laugh with my mates. We were all NT and ‘cool girls’ to boot! I remember we did laser tag for my 14th birthday.

I don't think people are saying op's daughter is babyish. What many of us has said these other girls already pulled out of plans and to most 16 year olds, yes a trampoline party IS babyish. It can led to her being more cast out and teased.

Going by some of the replies it's no wonder children bully other children. It's no wonder OP hasn't been back.

thats a statement- it’s no wonder that they bully really?! Bullies usually find any reason to behave badly…they don’t need an excuse nor a trampoline party.

Absolutely do not organise a get together for her it will end up in heartbreak for her and ND teens have it hard enough as it is, suggest a shopping day and get food and maybe even somewhere for mocktail make it special. My daughter is ND 23 now and has never had a friendship group it’s hard but she accepts it’s not for her. Good luck