When you see me doing this I'm really ..

[VictorianMother]

I live on a busy road. When I leave my home I wave at the front window to make it look like I'm saying bye to someone but there's no one home. I think I'm trying to deter possibly burglars from thinking no one is home.

I'm sure I'm tricking no one 😆

When I'm taking my time washing or drying my hands in a public loo, I'm really waiting for someone to come in the main door so I can hook my foot or elbow on the door to exit so I don't have to touch the handle.

When I'm on a phone call in my garden it's because I don't want to speak to my neighbour who monopolises the conversation and will talk for an hour about her dog. I'm not on a call but talking to myself. Sometimes i laugh whilst on "the call".

My husband thinks I've lost it.

I have a few more....

Are there things you do that you're covering for other things?

The mumsnet mob

I don't destroy items.

Such a huge overreaction.

Ok, but to be fair, if you read your original post, that's what it read like, if you look at the language you selected.

Snapping, poking,squashing.

*@Itiswhysofew
Since I was a child, I've snapped chocolate bars, poked cakes, squashed packets of biscuits & crisps in supermarkets. I don't do it regularly, but when the urge happens, I just can't stop myself. It's like a compulsion *

I wouldn't want to buy broken chocolate bars, squashed up crisps etc so it's pretty crap behaviour. Fine if you've got some weird fetish and like to squash up and break things before sticking them in your own basket and buying them, but leave other stuff alone for other shoppers

Yes I always say apeth, but I though it came from ha'porth - half an old penny's worth - like in the saying "spoiling a ship for a ha'porth of tar". Calling someone a daft half penny's worth (but missing off the h sound).
(Maybe I'm overthinking this.)

Yup, because we all know how robust crisps and those soft supermarket cakes are. They can totally handle being squashed without being ruined.

Lets fact it, OP. You are minimising now (its now a little squeeze rather than a squash or a poke) as everyone has told you how out of order your behaviour is.

Buy yourself a fidget toy if you really need something to do with your hands.

Fetish? Good grief, no. Don't worry. It's been a long time, and I don't destroy items. That would be a dreadful thing to do.

Not minimising. Just confirming that I don't actually destroy products. It's been years since & hasn't been regular thing.

Sure. What am I going to believe? What you stated originally or your revised claim after getting clear kickback. 🤔

Snap your own chocolate bars and squash your own bags of crisps then if you get off on it

I've been walking my dogs in the forest and suddenly realised there's a lone man near me so I call out my husband's name and wave, even though he is miles away at work. I know not all lone men are dodgy but I watch a lot of creepy TV shows

I notice a lot in the street, someone walking in the opposite direction gets close and suddenly has to look at their phone but it’s obvious they’re getting nervous that they might have to make eye contact with a stranger.

No judgement, because I never know what to do with my eyes either 😅

For the millionth time,don’t exaggerate
I love a bit of hyperbole. Please indulge me
realisticlly I don’t think there’s a well heeled mob in an indignant rage, propelled in a fug of jo malone ready to remonstrate about the squashed products

@Itiswhysofew

YOU said ...

Since I was a child, I've snapped chocolate bars, poked cakes, squashed packets of biscuits & crisps in supermarkets

that's NOT a 'little squeeze'. so were you exaggerating or just back peddling now when so many posters have commented on your deplorable behaviour???

Surely this means your a psychopath

#you're

If someone unexpectedly knocks the front door at night I get to the hall and shout out 'I'll get it DH!' even when I'm home alone.

Thought it was just me 😂

@whatcanthematterbe81

Surely this means your a psychopath

Not a psychopath, just a twat

Believe what makes you feel good about overreacting, I suppose.

@VictorianMother I set the alarm with a ringtone for a certain time so I can pretend my office are trying to get hold of me.😂

Use your elbow!

*you're

Does it? Are you speaking as a mental health practioner?

If they were they’d be telling you you have an antisocial personality disorder.

psychopath is so passé

@Itiswhysofew not even wasting a brain cell thinking of a proper response to that

Deplorable?