Need a hand hold part 2

[Imbluedalale]

Hi it’s Laura ,
Just wanted to add a new thread as I think my other thread is getting full xx

What an idiot that man is. My god. I expect the school will be very happy to hear from you, well done @Imbluedalale for ignoring him and dealing with it directly with the school. He’s expecting you to get upset and suffer, when actually he’s just handed you the perfect opportunity to calmly make it clear to the school that he’s not trustworthy and that you’re the parent your kids can rely on, and to update them on the transport arrangements and your new address. And great work on the email @Ruralretreating !

I’ve also just caught up on earlier posts and Laura I’m so sorry for what you and your mum and siblings went through when you were very little. It makes her strange reactions to your situation earlier a little bit easier to understand, and its also reassuring that she might be able to be a good support to you in future and she might be someone you can have a healthy relationship with. I had been worried that there must have been something terrible that had happened in your background that made you accept your ex’s awful treatment of you at the beginning, and I was worried that meant your mum and dad were not good people.

It also makes it even more impressive how loving you are to your kids and what a great mum you are. The fact that they don’t realise what a big deal your new house is, is because you did a really good job of protecting them from knowing the worst of what you went through in these weeks, and you did that for their sakes even though you were so distraught. Even in the depths of despair you were so much stronger than you ever realised. (Even strong enough to accurately throw an egg at horrible drunk old grandad to protect your mum, as a scared little girl!!! That’s very bloody impressive.)

I hope it’s not weird to say, I’m so proud of you.

It's been quite a good day for me. I was able to get out of bed today and do an hour of crafting. I like making cards mostly, although I do crochet too.

@Munchyseeds2 My husband made us a squash soup for dinner tonight too. He didn't roast it first but added some red lentils and a sweet potato to it.

@Imbluedalale I would be incredibly surprised if school had authorised an two week absence. If anything schools are cracking down on it and I have heard of people who have legitimately needed time for funerals, who have been refused that amount of time.

School isn't just going to take his word over yours. You've got plenty of evidence on your side and professionals who could back you up, if needed. From their point of view, he's doing the wrong thing by taking them out of school. He's doing it to try to get a reaction from you, so stay strong and be smart. If it ever ends up in court, you will be the one who has been showing that you are putting your kids needs first and that will count volumes to the judge.

I agree with the advice that you should email now, so it shows you were quick to respond and let the school know you didn't agree with the decision and they don't have the full (accurate) truth. You can then get a meeting with them to explain your concerns. It's really awful how some kids are taken out of school and given no home education. I'm not against home education where it's done correctly. It was something we researched and were thinking of doing ourselves before I became disabled.

Laura your strength is shining through as you prepare to do battle for your son. What a difference to how you were feeling following you leaving the crisis house and you should be so very proud of yourself. We are all here to support you.
@Ruralretreating your email is spot on, thank you for writing it and empowering Laura 🌸
@Apolloneuro your email made me spit my tea out 🤣
Loving all the ways everyone is suggesting to make your ex suffer, I applaud them all 😂😂😂

That sounds like the perfect spoon for the job if you asked me . I was going to put knuckle dusters through mine but thought maybe I’m going abit to far. We could leave a terrible review on his bar that will be good because the council Gets all the reviews xx

Hi @Meanwhile33 , how’s your evening going?
He really is an idiot , I bet he didn’t tell the school that son would be working for 40 days either .
Even if he hasn’t lied about me being the violent one and instead said I’ve left them so now he’s sole parent that’s why he needs to take him to Liverpool as he has no one to look after him. Well that’s another lie as he has his sister and her husband an 2 grown up sons and one young son and his grandma loving next door I’m really not sure what the problem would have been.
What the truth is, is that he knew on Monday I would be moving into my new house and wanting youngest to come and see it and once I get
most of the stuff in and done like carpets, blinds and beds it will be more homely
Regarding my mum I didn’t want it to cause her any trauma with what had been going on with me. I wanted to protect her from all that.. I didn’t want her to see me as a failure that I too had picked similar to my real dad. .
But she knows now and I was going to a ladies night out once which he didn’t want me to go but I put my foot down said I’m going . He cornered me around the back of the shed and kept shouting at me a part of my fa e I to the fall or pulling it along with his back pushing into the shed . Push my face into the wall really hard ams just kept pushing the part near your mouth a cheeks for about 2/minutes and I cracked a tooth to and I was begging him to stop he said you ought to go home now state of your so I did i
and I went home . Got home and this is what I got for wanting to go out

Laura, you and every single person here that has put faith in you and given you a lift up are to be hugely commended. But at the end of the day, you are the one that has shown such resilience. Your children are lucky to have a mum like you who has such courage and determination. Remember, the cream always rises to the top ❤️

I thought of this song earlier reading this thread, it’s a favourite of mine and it reminded me of you…

Hi @Imbluedalale I’ve had a nice evening thanks, did a yoga class and then watched the beginning of the new season of Cobra Kai on Netflix with a takeaway. It’s very silly but one of the few things DH, DS & I can agree on watching.

That’s so sad what your ex did to you. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of it and it wasn’t your fault. I’m going to bed now, I hope you sleep well. xx

This is from when he didn’t want to go to a girls food colour night at the cricket club so he pushed my face into wall and marked me so had to go home

You’re welcome @Imbluedalale . You really have made progress and that strength and determination shines through e.g. “on Monday I will fight for my son’s education and his future” That’s the spirit!

Also I realised I jumped into solution and forgot the sympathy I meant to express too for the awful way your ex is treating you, and all those experiences growing up. Your book will be an inspiring one for sure!

I’m still juggling quite a lot at home/work but am following thread daily even if I don’t post. If you need anything urgently please PM me.

You and the spoonies make me laugh daily. @AdmittowearingCrocs @RaspberryBeretxx @Apolloneuro @ChoccieCornflake @PeggyMitchellsCameo @Munchyseeds2 , all the other regulars and the new additions to the crew - you all rock! Loved the picture too @Playgroundincident

Big wave to @TealPoet , great to have you back again

Excellent choice of song @TheFoz

Love that @TheFoz , I’m going to download it on Spotify. Can’t wait to have headphones on singing and dancing whilst I’m cleaning up xx

Good morning Spoonies 😁 @Imbluedalale I hope you feel a bit better about things today. The Spoonies really stood up out of their drawers 😂 Great support everyone. I'm trying to get myself ready to hit sainsburys before the Saturday madness starts. Hope you are all having a lovely weekend whatever you are up to x

Morning spoonies!
We haven’t got long until moving in day for @Imbluedalale
I think the story of Laura and the spoons should be next year’s John Lewis advert, with us as the moving in crew.
Now just need to think what song to use. Labi Siffre would be hard to beat though?

@Imbluedalale what the TWAT did to you and your dad to your mum before that makes me SO sad
My admiration for how strong you are is massive, a few weeks ago you would have been on the floor in bits but look at you now, playing the long game to get what you and the kids need, you are AMAZING (I may have said that just a few times before)

When you are settled you must get the help and therapy you need so you can look in the mirror with your head held high and live your life freely....I can't wait for that ❤

I hope everyone has a lovely, restful day doing whatever you love.

I'm off to find more 📌 xx

There is a guy who does an alternative JL ad on utube for charity
This year's features an old man and a Robin I think. Have a look, I thought it was really good
Prahaps we should contact him??

Hi @nornironlady , How’s your Saturday going? I’m feeling ok thank you , I’ve listened to you all and had a word with myself and your all right I do need to play the long game. I sent the school an email last night and I will call them on Monday. I’m not going to let the twat ruin my move in day, whilst it’s a hard thought knowing I won’t see my son for longer it just means I can have his bedroom all ready for when he gets back. Ex loves it when I’m on the floor breaking but I’m not going to let him this time , he’ll probably manage to do that sometime in the future but this time I choose to get up and fight .
Thank you so much for all of your support last night you really helped me , I was so angry I wanted to ring ex and ask what he’s doing but I’m so so glad I didn’t , instead I’m doing the right thing as advices by all you spoonies . Playing the long game xx

Hi @PeggyMitchellsCameo , how are you today?
2 more sleeps not long now at all. Oh I definitely like the sound of the John Lewis advert. I’ve got tears in my eyes thinking of all us spoonies swaying to that song . God I’m so emotional today 😂

The higher you build your barriers
The taller I become
The further you take my rights away
The faster I will run
You can deny me, you can decide
To turn your face away
No matter 'cause there's
Something inside so strong
I know that I can make it
Though you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone, oh no
There's something inside so strong
Oh, something inside so strong
The more you refuse to hear my voice (ooh-weh ooh-weh ooh-weh ooh-weh)
The louder I will sing
You hide behind walls of Jericho (ooh-weh ooh-weh ooh-weh ooh-weh)
Your lies will come tumbling
Deny my place in time, you squander wealth that's mine
My light will shine so brightly it will blind you
Because there's
Something inside so strong, strong
I know that I can make it
Though you're doing me wrong, so wrong
You thought that my pride was gone, oh no
There's something inside so strong
Oh, something inside so strong
Brothers and sisters
When they insist we're just not good enough
Well we know better
Just look him in his eyes and say
We're gonna do it anyway
We're gonna do it anyway

Hi @Munchyseeds2 , How’s your weekend going? Good I hope . Please keep sticking those pins in for me , I hope he’s feeling every prick whilst he’s swanning around Liverpool .
Thank you so so much for your lovely words about me they mean more than you’ll ever know and pick me up when ex is trying to pull me down.
Im definitely going to get therapy when I'm more settled , my ex thought it was funny I couldn’t look in the mirror anymore but one day I will and I’ll like what I see xx

For the moment, Laura, we’re your mirrors and we see a young, beautiful woman, with her own house and life xxx

Looked after the little girlies this morning. Grandad has just taken them home. I’m quite glad, because the 4 year old is being quite extra at the moment. Mum and dad needed a break. 😂

Have just seen a very distressing thread on here by a lady who has just been punched by her husband.
She has posted a few times in the past, general family stuff, and her DH sounds like your ordinary, every day kind of fella.
And I thought of you @Imbluedalale and how far you have come.
This can happen to any of us. So we really need to keep applauding our Laura who has been so brave!

I’ve just come off that thread, Peggy, as too many people seemed determined to make it about them and their experiences. I hope the poor lady is ok.

Hi @Apolloneuro , that is so lovely , thank you so much. What a lovely beautiful thing to say .
😂😂😂😂Sorry but the thought of your 4 year old granddaughter being extra makes me laugh 😆 xx

Hi @PeggyMitchellsCameo , how’s your day going? Awww that’s sounds terrible , poor woman. I hope she’s getting support from MN’s and will find the courage to leave. It’s happening to too many unfortunately, when I was homeless and trying to get into a refuge they was all full within a 50 mile radius xx