Need a hand hold part 2

[Imbluedalale]

Hi it’s Laura ,
Just wanted to add a new thread as I think my other thread is getting full xx

you could also view it as a cathartic closing of a chapter if you wanted to do it before you move on monday, then a brand new beginning for you xx

Hi @Imbluedalale
I’m not a teacher and I don’t work in safeguarding but I do work in an unrelated field involving investigations so am always thinking about evidence and reasonableness in these situations.

If you have an email address for school office and/or safeguarding lead I would send a email tonight or tomorrow to show you’ve acted very promptly to check the facts after being told by your son. And as others have said, be open and transparent about facts. They may not see it until Monday but it will make getting information to the right people quicker and easier. Also if ex calls and says son ill, you’ve got in there first with the facts.

I’d say something like:

Dear

Apologies for emailing out of hours but I have an urgent safeguarding concern about my son (name), in (year/class).

My son told me late Friday afternoon that his father has obtained authorisation from school for a two week absence to accompany his father to Liverpool for two weeks from (day).

I have joint parental responsibility and am concerned about my son missing school for two weeks as I am not aware of any reason why he would need to be absent. Please could you confirm if this absence has been authorised?

I do also need to update you on the current position at home. I apologise for not having done so before but I hope you will understand in the circumstances, it has been a very difficult time.

(Number) weeks ago, my former partner, (name of son’s) father made me homeless. I was suffering with cancer (I am still under the care of the oncologist) and treatment caused some disability. I was the victim of domestic violence from (ex name). My housing situation was insecure and my mental health suffered greatly. With support from a number of people, including our MP, I have been fortunate to obtain permanent housing in (town), which I am moving into this Tuesday. I have also arranged transport to be available from there to school via (local council and department name). I am well enough to care for my son and the housing is suitable for his needs. I can provide evidence of all the following should you wish to see it.

I will also call school first thing on Monday.

Kind regards

Laura

You are amazing! Your X is totally, rattled by you doing so well! He kept you down, but now you have proved to him, that you are so much better.
You have risen above him, and he knows that now!

Your new house looks so lovely, a new home for you and your children.
Just make that house into a home, and your children will want to be with you.

Does your son’s school have a message service like Dojo. It might be a good idea to write down what you plan to say,,when phoning or messaging the school, so you don’t miss out anything, than you later might remember.

We are with you all the way, stay strong and remember you have achieved so much. 😘🌸

That’s a good idea @Ruralretreating

@Apolloneuro you write much funnier emails than me though 😂😂

@Imbluedalale add also:

This is my phone number (add number). Please feel free to call any time and to leave a message. Please be aware that I am not in contact with (ex name).For obvious reasons, including the domestic violence, I would like as much confidentiality as possible. If you anre unsure whether it is appropriate share information about me with him please contact me to check.

Why why WHY am I not getting updates again?!? I’ve missed so much here - too much to comment on all of it, but honestly what a nightmare ex is :( He’s trying to control you still and turn your good things into sad ones - The words I want to call him right now are not ones I use!

@Ruralretreating that email is brilliant, Laura I do hope you can send it!

I absolutely love you @Apolloneuro , you’ve really made me laugh reading that . I’m so grateful to have all you spoonies to help pick me back up when ex once again tries to pull me down. Thank you xx

One little bully isn’t going to get the better of us!

I identify as a bit of a witch and it’s not considered appropriate these days to cast harmful spells, but exceptions can be made 😂

Thank you @spoonfulofmustard , that’s very helpful I will do that , thank you . Everything my ex has done to me is still very fresh in my mind and on Monday I will fight for my son’s education and his future . My ex’s sisters children don’t go to school nor are they home schooled , over my dead body that will be happening with my youngest xx

@Ruralretreating , thank you so so much for writing that to send in an email to the school. I will definitely use it and send this evening . Your amazing @Ruralretreating , thank you xx

Thank you so much @Nottogetapenny , I’m actually furious ex has done this , I’ve just ate a full pack of Jaffa cakes I’m that angry.
I’m going to send email now that @Ruralretreating kindly wrote for me and then contact the school on Monday. There’s nothing educational about sitting in a bar for 12 hours a day for 14 days.
Him doing this has made me more determined to make my house as lovely as it can be and for my children to have lovely bedrooms. Ex thinks he’s pulling me down but all he’s doing is giving me strength from my anger xx

Last time you got really triggered, you walked to the train station. This time you demolished a whole packet of Jaffa cakes. Pretty good progress, I’d say 😜

Hi @TealPoet , It’s lovely to see you on here .
Your right ex is trying to ruin my relationship with my children and is trying to turn a happy experience of moving in day to a bad one but I’ll do everything I can to make sure I see my children and that my youngest gets the education he needs and deserves xx

Well I think you can’t get a better exception than this @Apolloneuro 😂😂😂
Get those crystals , wands and chanting out I’m all for it xx

Oh I love that @Apolloneuro you’re so right! I preferred the Jaffa cakes to the train station though 😂.
What ex is doing and will continue to do just makes me want to carry on doing what I’m doing and get my home and live a happy life because I’ve realised I can and I will . I don’t want nor need him and him saying I’m nothing without him. Well he’s wrong xx

This is a great plan. Get in ahead with a really good email then follow up with a phone call to confirm. At least you don’t have to go through everything on the phone feeling emotional. Amazing email 💕. It’ll also help you feel you done something.

and Laura I’m so sorry he’s done this. It’s just another piece of evidence that you’re their mum who truly cares about their well being and he actually really doesn’t. Will your son be super bored in a bar for 12 hours a day?

sending lots of love xx

Thank you @RaspberryBeretxx , I knew he’d be difficult I shouldn’t be surprised really but I’m not going to let him get in the way of my son’s education . I probably can’t stop him going this time but I’m going to try and get something in place so it doesn’t happen again. He must really want to get to me because this time of year whilst he’s away at Liverpool is when he likes to use escorts so for him to do this must mean he’s really determined to get to me xx

@Imbluedalale No way on earth has this been authorised by the school
keep on keeping on lovely xx

@Ruralretreating that email is perfect

@Apolloneuro I think we are all 🧙‍♀️ at heart....I may be sticking pins in a stick man as we speak!!

Thank you @Munchyseeds2 , email has just been sent to the school and I will contact them on Monday to discuss everything. Thank you @Ruralretreating so much for the email I truly appreciate it. Can you please put several pins into your stick man for me?xx

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Hello - I'm sorry I've been absent from this thread, and oh my word your ex is an absolute and colossal WANKBADGER!!! I would have wished his next shit be a hedgehog, but I see you are ahead of me in wishing that - well done! I am at a loss for words at what a twat he is, but make sure you remind yourself of this - he has chosen the wrong person to pick on, because you are far stronger than little puny him! God knows what he's said to the school, but they will have seen it all before, and you not only have all the evidence to back up what you've been through, but you are also so very clearly genuine. Try not to let this put a dampener on the weekend - you'll have your house very soon, and your son will love it whether he sees it the day you move in or later on. You could always video your first walk round of it to show your son later on, if you think he'd like that.

I hope your ex gets a horrible case of piles, and that all the hair on his head falls off but the hair on his arse grows massively and gives him ingrown hairs in delicate areas - many of them all at once!!

Hi @ChoccieCornflake , it’s so lovely to hear from you . I was thinking if you earlier as you remember that stern face and attitude you have ready for the council with your spoon and back tulip on?Well I was hoping you could do that again but at the Christmas market and maybe if you could possibly whack the spoon on his head too that would be nice . A few times to be exact. That would make my day .
I’m not going to let it put a damper on weekend but on Monday morning I’m going to be a force to be reckoned with when I ring the school and ask them for meeting . I may also ask my support worker to come with me too xx

@ChoccieCornflake

I hope your ex gets a horrible case of piles, and they all the hair on his head falls off but the hair on his arse grows massively and gives him ingrown hairs in delicate areas - many of them all at once!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Your wish is my command! I have a particularly grimy gnarly wooden spoon that has a massive crack (and thus produces splinters) that I'm sure would be up for a bit of whacking! I'm pretty sure it's been down the back of the cupboard too (it's the kind of spoon that can't be contained by cutlery drawers and goes wandering!) so who knows what's all over it!