Need a hand hold part 2

[Imbluedalale]

Hi it’s Laura ,
Just wanted to add a new thread as I think my other thread is getting full xx

Hello! That onion ambulance bloke - that is proper crazy!! I mean half an hour of monologue is bad enough, but who has that much to say about onions?!

I'm doing well thanks - I have the Amber Rose on today. I'm not sure how to describe it, other than to say it's like if Black Tulip decided to be play it subtle! I like it, but it's not knocked Black Tulip off the top spot! Definitely one for those days when you want to smell nice, but only in a very small radius! :)

As to Adidas poppers - blast from the past! I was never that trendy sadly! I am currently picturing the Converse Elephant wearing them!

Laura I bet you know things about onions now that never crossed your mind 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 who even does that?
Loving the nails @Apolloneuro . A bit of pampering is always good for the soul 🌻

Hope you've recovered from the onions chat @Imbluedalale 😂. I would imagine as an ambulance driver you'd not want to smell too much of onions! Hope your afternoon is going OK and the appointment goes as well as it can.

I'm glad you've spoken to your parents and had some support/acknowledgement from them. I'm sorry that it sounds like they're somewhat deflecting the blame on to you for not telling them about your ex breaking your ribs. Fwiw I think it's totally understandable that you didn't under the circumstances. It sounds like they're seeing his true nature now that he's panicking and phoning them to try and keep control of the narrative - it's great that they've blocked him and he can't keep dripping his poison in. Keep doing your thing, building yourself up and tell people what and when suits you, you don't owe anyone anything! You've come back from rock bottom by yourself and no longer have your ex tearing you down - I know there will still be hard days and down days and crap to soldier through but you'll get there. Sending hugs.

Lol at your ex already being bald and his dick may have fallen off - let's just tell ourselves it has 😂. What an utter arse to decide he'd rather have sex with others and put a ban on it.

I love the nails @Apolloneuro . I didn't know a Wicked film was coming out, that sounds amazing. I've always wanted to see the musical.

@ChoccieCornflake the perfume sounds amazing. Did you get a tester set and which ones did you get? I can't wait to get to a big M&S as I want to smell all of them!

Hi @RaspberryBeretxx , how’s your afternoon going?
Awww that’s lovely thank you so much . With my daughter I can’t be too full on with her at the moment but once she’s with me in the house I will try and build our relationship back up . I’ve just told her that I’m there for her and she can talk to me anytime . Sometimes I need to take a step back and realise that what’s happened hasn’t just affected me it’s affected my children Aswell but I hope we can build a new happy life and I’m going to appreciate every second I spend with them .
Oh my ex must be furious and I hate that he’s been giving my mum and dad grief Aswell but they realised what a nasty piece of work him and his mum are and I didn’t have no input in that he did it all himself.
I hope you enjoyed your coffee, did you have a cake with it?
Both my boys had behaviour points at school , my eldest more than my youngest. I think most of it is showing off to their mates . And then they get to the answering back stage. Parenting definitely doesn’t get easier it’s just a different type of hard as they get older xx

Friday week. Bridgeton’s Jonathan Bailey is in it swoon.

They look absolutely gorgeous @Apolloneuro xx

Oh they can @Apolloneuro believe me 😂
I’ve learnt so many things about onions , did you know to get rid of onion breath just eat a-bit of parsley and if you have an insect bite then rub an onion on it and hey ho it heals. Also he told me that eating onions reduces your risk of getting cancer apparently, well I didn’t want to piss on his bonfire but I thought ‘well it’s a-bit too late for that now’ xx

Hi @ChoccieCornflake , how’s your afternoon been? I’m a bit gutted actually that my phone hasn’t automatically put a GIF up of an onion running in pink converse 😂
Ohhh the Amber Rose sounds lovely , my consultant asked me what perfume I was wearing today and said she loved it . It was black tulip xx

Oh I do @AdmittowearingCrocs , I now know too many pointless facts about onions. I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift though 🤣xx

Hi @RaspberryBeretxx , I haven't recovered yet, thankfully this new ambulance driver doesn’t talk so I can listen to my music in peace. Bless the onion man though he was really fond of onions , I should have been more enthusiastic 😂
I’ve had my appointment thank you . It’s been a long afternoon. My consultant said my tremors in my arm are part of FND, she described it as my brain being a computer sending signals to my nerves but the computer has crashed and said no my body has had enough, so basically it’s a sign of major stress and your brain shuts down the system that sends messages to your nerves . She said as part of my treatment she wants to book me in for some intense counselling.
Being on my own a lot lately has made me reflect on things especially with ex and my parents and I’ve come to the realisation that I can’t control other peoples actions or words but I can control mine so I have decided I’m not going to hold a grudge with my parents as they have said they want to help me and so as it’s a fresh start for me I’m going start afresh with them too. I have also decided that I actually don’t care if people believe me anymore about the abuse and everything else , I know my truth and my health team do and ex knows too but I don’t care for him and if people want to believe him over me I don’t want them in my new life anyway xx

@RaspberryBeretxx Your post was great. Couldn't have put it better myself.
@Apolloneuro Love the nails. My sofa is that deep green! I always wanted to see Wicked myself on stage.
@Imbluedalale Great attitude to take with your parents. There's only forward now. As for the rest, those that matter won't care and those who care don't matter. You know the truth xx

Hi Spoonies , so I’ve just got back to the hotel from my hospital appointment. It went ok I think. The tremors I’m experiencing are part of the FND, basically she said my body is under a lot of stress so my brain has shut down the part that sends messages to your nerves . Also with my sore throat after examining me she said this is also a major part of FND and she described it as having a golf ball in the back of your throat and that’s exactly what it feels like and takes effort to swallow etc. She said my brain is telling my body that it’s had enough, with the cancer and cancer treatment , mental health and DV. She said many of her patients with FND have suffered with Domestic Violence and she said that’s what has probably caused the tremors . There’s still a lot of weakness in my right leg but she doesn’t have a time frame of when it will get better. She said that it differs patient to patient but she has referred me for intense counselling to the and help with the tremors. She thinks the tremors will go once I’m settled and feeling safe .
Also I applied to the Local Assistance Scheme last night and I received an email today saying that they have agreed for me to have a cooker, washing machine and fridge freezer . Isn’t that great? So I’ve got 3 things for my house already sorted xx

Thank you @nornironlady and thank you so much for your support . I absolutely love that quote it’s so true xx

Fabulous news about the funding for your white goods, another feather in your cap. Well done for applying, so good you will have these items for your new house.
Yet again your wise observation and decisions show what an amazing person you are, much more kind and forgiving than I would be in your situation Laura. 🪷

Hi Laura
Glad everything went as well as it could today....your consultant obs knows what she is talking g about and when you think about it, it makes complete sense.
At the end of the day a body (and mind!) Can only take so much

I'm glad you are back in touch with your parents and that they are beginning to see the light....I thought they would

What you say about not being able to change what others think is so true, all you can do is what's best for you, hard as that is!!

Not long to go now before you can start getting settled.
Great news on the white goods - now all you need is a bed and something to sit on, then you can build the rest!!

Did the ex really burn stuff?? What a Prince of a man xxx

@Apolloneuro love the nails

DDhas brought herself the kit to do them herself.. I let her do a thumb nail last night to practice
I've decided I like it so I've just told her she can do the rest....she's going to find me a nice red with glitter for christmas

Evening @AdmittowearingCrocs , thank you very much . I’m chuffed with what they have agreed to give me . My support worker was going to come and see me yesterday but her little one wasn’t well so last night I thought I’ll just do it and try and get the ball rolling and they responded already .
Awww that’s so lovely @AdmittowearingCrocs thank you so much, It wasn’t all my mum and dad btw it was me too. I pushed them away because they was speaking to Ex without me knowing , well he was ringing them telling them all sorts of lies , I haven’t even asked mostly what he said because it doesn’t matter anymore and it makes me feel incredibly anxious but he apparently turned on my mum and she saw another side to him then his mum rang my parents and tried having a go at my mum for calling ex out on his lies but my mum put the phone down on her and blocked them both . I think for my parents things are slowly clicking into place and they are connecting the dots . Now they know about the ribs incident and when he fractured my knee cap. But I’m not going to dwell on it and I’m going to let bygones be bygones. I also told my dad that I am trying and I am stronger than he thinks I am because of everything I’ve endured lately and I think he was secretly impressed I had contacted MP and done what I have lately xx

Hi @Munchyseeds2 , yes you’re absolutely right , it does make sense . I just didn’t know before that your brain can shut down due to stress and affect other parts of your body. Hopefully once I start healing my tremors will go .
I think my parents are definitely starting to see the light, my ex made me believe that my parents hated me and that I wasn’t worthy of having any friends or family and he will absolutely hate I’m back in contact with them and he’ll give birth to kittens if he knew I had all this support on here 😂
It is great news about the white goods, I may need to get a little blow up bed for the time being until I can find something second hand but it’s ok because I’ll be on it in my new home .
Oh ex burned all my clothes I had to leave there including my Victoria Beckham dress , photos , shoes , letters basically everything that was mine but it’s ok I’m over that now . I may not have a lot but I have me again and soon my children and a home and nobody is in my ear belittling me or hurting me xx

Laura, I think the vast majority of your mental health issues were circumstantial ie you lived with an arsehole.

You are strong and intelligent. I think now you’re away from him, you are going to thrive.

My word, we knew you were strong, but you keep on taking strength to whole other levels! I am so impressed at how philosophical and wise you are being about your parents and your ex and everything else. I do hope his dick HAS dropped off though! Either that or that his next shit is a hedgehog!

@RaspberryBeretxx - I did indeed get a tester set! Blood Orange was nice, but didn't last particularly well. Amber Rose (on today) is lasting well, but very subtle. I still can't tell what it smells like, other than like a rather nice floral and also warm perfume. Maybe like a rose that's been at the cookies!

Also, @Imbluedalale - your neuro consult sounds like it went well. Given everything you have been through, I'm not surprised your brain has had a bit of a crash! Hopefully now that you have some peace and space, everything will recover. And I agree totally with@Apolloneuro!

Evening @Apolloneuro , I think you are very right. Especially the last few years. It has been absolute mental torture but now I’m starting to see clearly again. I remember laying on the sofa one night just after I had my first treatment and my head was screaming at me asking me if I really wanted another 10 years of this and I didn’t but I felt too weak to leave but him kicking me out was the best thing he could have done for me xx

Awww that’s so lovely thank you @ChoccieCornflake .
I saw this quote today that said ‘God will sometimes wreck your plans when he sees that your plans are about to wreck you’ and I think that’s so true because I was so poorly and weak I wanted to get a little better before I could look at leaving but the best plan for me is what ex did because it got me out and however hard it has been I’m now free xx

Just listening to this , it’s so relaxing and it’s from my favourite film 😂

Dickless dumbo thought he was punishing you, but he’s saved you. Ha ha.