To do this crazy sleeping arrangement

[sleepingsecondhand]

It is strange and I’m sure I’ll get many posts saying it’s strange but if it gets me more sleep I don’t think I care.

We have a four bed house, three good sized bedrooms, one small room.

DH snores, badly, and for a myriad of other reasons we just don’t sleep well together so we don’t do it. So at the moment we have

DH in a double bed in bedroom 1
Me in a double bed in bedroom 2
DS (aged 3, almost 4) in a single bed in bedroom 3
And in theory DD (aged 15 months) in a cot in bedroom 4.

DD appears to hate the cot. I probably should sleep train her but it’s going to be horrible and will have to go for full cry it out which obviously in itself is controversial but ‘gentler’ methods won’t be gentle, she’ll never settle if I’m in the room with her.

However she sleeps OK in a bed. Last week DH was away and I just let her sleep in his double bed and she slept through.

I am considering just letting her sleep in my bed and buying a single bed for her room and sleeping in that myself until she’s old enough to go in a bed. I know it sounds a bit mad but seems the best alternative to cry it out at the moment.

She doesn't need a single bed, is her cot a cot bed? They're quite low so if she fell out she would be fine. Or a toddler bed? I think it's safer than stacking pillows all around her in a double isn't it?

Or a single bed with a bed guard?

My son has never slept alone so since he was about 7 months old I slept on a mattress on the floor in his bedroom with him. If she will sleep in a bed alone then just get her a floor bed so she can sleep in a bed but won’t fall out. Just to note that stacking pillows around her and bed guards are not safe for a 15 month old

Do what ever you need to do to get some sleep (assuming it's safe)

Not what you asked but Dp was a horrendous snorer and it turned out he had nasal polyps, I do wonder how many snorers have them and don't realise

Yeah I'd give her my double bed and get a single for her room for myself. I'd swap rooms basically. She will need the bigger room when she's older anyways.

Whatever works to get some sleep, I'd do.

@PC7102 this maybe a daft question but why are bed guards dangerous for 15 month olds?

Honestly just try anything that works and that means you don’t have to resort to letting your tiny baby cry it out. The cry it out method hardwires a baby’s brain for future mental health issues.

There’s a massive risk of entrapment with younger children, and also the toddler climbing over and falling.

@PC7102 but that can happen with a cot at that age though - couldn't it?

Think it’s less of a risk as the mattress should go right up to the bars of the cot if you get one that fits properly and can’t really move around inside a cot. Cots should be high enough that a child can’t climb over and are wooden bars rather than material. I guess if the guard is fitted correctly, is the correct guard for the bed type and not made of material that can smother a child it would be ok but there’s so many different ones out there

@PC7102 at 15 months an awful lot of toddlers can climb over the cot bars - and it's usually a higher drop down than if they are climbing over a bed guard (if the bed isn't one of those high divan style ones).
Like you say - there's different types.

I’d either do a floor bed in her room for her or have her in with you.

please don’t do cry it out. It’s so cruel. A baby who can’t fully communicate and relies on their caregivers for their needs, left to cry until they fall asleep from exhaustion, knowing that no one really cares enough to come to them, is awful.

I bedshare with my daughter who is now 2. We’ve done this since she was 5 months. Was the only way I got sleep and it works.

Not crazy. Just do it. Bolster with pillows in the double but use bed rails too. My DS had to upgrade from cot to toddler bed before 12 months so I understand why your DD may be unhappy in a cot.

I personally think 15 months is too small for solo sleeping in own room, but you’ve got an older child, so you probably know more than me, but I could never do “cry it out” method - it can cause sleep anxiety and actually reverse development for a period in tots.

This.

Mines had a single floor bed with an extra high guard since he was 10 months old

1, you don't have to sleep train her.

2, put her in a single bed with a bed rail.